Don't Retract Pack

A Man's Guide to Homebirth

Photo courtesy of Natural Blessings Doula Services and ©2009 Sandi Heinrich Photography

Josh's first skin-to-skin with his fresh, newborn son
born gently into water at home




This article has been removed.

Contact DrMomma.org@gmail.com with questions.


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41 comments:

  1. This is hilarious... I have to get my husband to read this. :)

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  2. Oh, that is simply hilarious!! Thanks for posting! :-)

    -Kathy

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  3. ha--my husband def. had a beer or two during my long 3 day labor! we even had a friend over for pizza dinner on my 2nd night of labor.

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  4. This was really funny, a rare glimpse into the man's-eye view of homebirth. One suggestion: save the steak, and cook it for your wife for after birth. Birth is hard work, she will be famished and devour the whole thing herself.

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  5. "If you are a well prepared man, you exercised for the whole nine months and are strong enough to wave your blond Fabio locks in the wind, pick her up like the Birthing Queen she is, and carry her to the designated place of rest while singing "The Music of the Night" from the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack."

    I just cried with laughter. That has got to be the most funny and best thing I've read in a while.

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  6. Brilliant! Really enjoyed reading that :) Thanks a million.

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  7. it's true what Dawn says. I definitely scarfed down a big ole' steak dinner a couple hours after giving birth to my son. :D oh and this was HYSTERICAL!!!

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  8. I think the last paragraph is the most valuable. It was with my husband. He was THERE. He held my hand through all of the last 24 hours (of 48) read to me, whispered all my afirmations in my ear (he knew them from preparing with me for nine months). The most painful parts of the entire experience for me were the contractions I had when he went to the bathroom. It was an amazing experience and I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

    You can read his perspective on homebirth here: http://www.diaryofafirstchild.com/2009/11/30/homebirth-a-mans-perspective/

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  9. I love that you have included several fabulously dorky references. You speak to my nerdy heart. I wish my husband had read this before both of our homebirths. He would have enjoyed it.

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  10. I am so glad you used my picture for this article. I laughed my ass off. Thank you PP, I love your eduaction of health and love in ways of birth and babies, the world is truly blessed to have you as a bird in its ear sending truth to the masses.

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  11. This was one of the funniest things I have EVER read.

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  12. cant decide if hubby should read this or not!! haha!

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  13. OOOooooo That is one of the Priceless Photos. love it.

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  14. Love this! I can always count on Peaceful Parenting for great articles during feeding times! Whether it is the middle of the night, using it as a light to help Paxton find my nipple or in the grocery parking lot, calming Paxton before us grabbing a meal and groceries... Breast feeding is so convenient and Peaceful Parenting in so educational! Thank you :D

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  15. That was awesome. I always love hearing a man's point of view on birth. It's always fascinating (and funny).

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  16. Love it!!! Gonna share with my hubby! Our baby is due in less than 3 months so he's gonna have to work fast to prepare. lol

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  17. Love it! Baby's due any day... it might be a bit late for my hubby to practice his push-ups, but I'll send him this to read anyway ;)

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  18. Maybe I'm the party pooper here but I actually didn't find this funny at all. The suggestion that men should be half drunk while supporting their partners in birth?? That birth smells like rotting meat?? And the mess factor?? Didn't sit well with me at all.

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  19. Its funny if you look at it in the perspective of a man. I thought it suits how a guy would see it

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  20. oh my gosh, i'm sure if i'd read this whilst preggo i would have peed myself from laughing so dang hard.

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  21. made me giggle... birth is such a trip. And I appreciate a chance to laugh at myself a bit... sometimes I take this whole homebirth advocacy a bit too seriously. It is messy and smelly, but that's life and that's why I would like to be at home, with my hubby... beer breath and all!

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  22. Hmm. I guess I have no sense of humor.

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  23. You're not alone Leto, I have mixed feelings about this too. Sure, some parts are funny, but I read most of it thinking, "aaand that's why I had a midwife at my home birth."

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  24. what a great photo!!

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  25. I loved this, it is totally hilarious, I will read it to my hubby when he gets home! :)

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  26. OhMyGosh, this is the funniest thing I have EVER read!! Every man in the world needs to read this!!

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  27. :) I have appreciated reading some of your older posts. While I won't be doing a home birth, I have a VERY nice and understanding Dr. who supports my decision to NOT be induced-even though I'm 44 weeks pregnant tomorrow. However, I'm having to deal with my inlaws, who refuse to believe that the baby is okay (i have been monitered every other day at the Dr's office) and have even accused me of lying about being pregnant because "nobody can be pregnant for longer than 40 weeks". I'm having a very hard time with all of this and have even considered induction to SHUT THEM UP. Glad to know I'm not the only one who's heard of choosing not to medically intervene.

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  28. This is the most awesome account I have seen that a dad has given - awesome job in so many ways daddy! I found the Klingon references to be particularly appropriate I have to admit. This had to be a pretty surreal experience for you at times, as you so accurately pointed out the woman gets lost in labor and probably has no clue. My hubby will be reading this later - he's been through labor 3 times and we're about to go through it again but I'm sure he'll appreciate this! Congrats on the new little one!

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  29. I loooved this, so funny. If only I could get my fiance to be this prepared :P

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  30. I read this to my DF and we both had a good chuckle. We had our first in February in a hospital, and I WON'T be doing that again. We're planning on homebirths for all future babies.
    And oh my gosh, 44 weeks pregnant? Good luck!

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  31. Mrs. Martin - Our first born decided he was ready at 44 weeks, 1 day (and I did the same to my mother at 44 weeks... as she did with her mom, also born at 44 weeks). Best wishes! Relish in these blissful last days carrying your baby inside. Much love to you for your birthing day.

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  32. I don't like it. I think he makes his wife sounds weak and helpless. So not how my UC's went.

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  33. I think this author is trying to reach a broad constituency of guys. How many times have you heard "oh, I'd love to have a home birth, but my husband/partner said no/won't let me/is too scared"? The focus wasn't the wife, but what men are supposed to do with themselves during a birth, in a lighthearted way. All the birth books are already about women. The Birth Partner by Penny Simpkin was the best I could find, but even that also focused on doulas and hospitals. And although I would not have thought the fairy wand during transition was very funny, I do like that most dads-to-be would probably have the attention span for this piece, even if it's just a gateway for more information.

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  34. Reminds me of Dave Matthews' quote about homebirth: "We had him at home, which was nice, because I knew where the beer was."

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  35. I read that article when they interviewed Dave and it made me think how much of an alcoholic he was for saying that! LOL

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  36. I am like one of the 2 ladies who didn't find this funny. I don't think its really helpful to exaggerate the mess or the smell, and when my husband did fall asleep for my night labor I felt lost and abandoned. My man has always tried to be fully present for me during birth. Just my 2 cents.

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  37. I thought this was pretty funny, dh too. I'm as gung-ho as they come (we've had two UC's and are preparing for our third this winter) for homebirth, but I get his point of view. He's a guy. And he sounds a lot like my dh. With my labor last time (posterior with a nuchal hand), I was in labor for 4 days. I sent dh to work in the morning knowing darn well I'd be calling him home later. I labored alone and took care of my 5yo and 2yo until about 1pm when it just got to be too much and I needed some big muscles to squeeze my hips, so I told dh. He asked if I could wait until 5 LMBO. I was like "um, NO, come home NOW!" duh. He got home about 2 and the little guy was born at 4:55. I didn't need him for the whole labor, just the last little bit, and he was exactly what I needed when I needed it. And even though he's massively supportive and would never want us back in a hospital like with #1 (and he's even talked another couple into UC all by himself!), he still thinks it's gross and "not natural"...he's just a guy.

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  38. ol I only had a 7 hour labor and my husband had ESPN on in the background and might have had a beer after baby was born, can't remember :)

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  39. mine had a fire in our fire pit and him and my dad hung out around it and drank beer and smoked cigars right after I had our son!!!!!

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  40. Is there somewhere else that I can read this article, as it has been removed?

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  41. Katerina - the post says to contact PeacefulParents@gmail.com with questions.

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