Comments on peaceful parenting: Confessions of a Failed Babywiser

Our story is very, very similar to yours. Our firs...

2011-12-21T01:28:04.911-05:00

Our story is very, very similar to yours. Our firstborn twins were also diagnosed with FTT, because of the cut off night feedings and scheduled day feedings. My milk supply couldn't keep up at all. With each child we've grown increasingly enthusiastic about attachment parenting. Now that we're on our sixth baby, we don't even own a crib, and I have more slings than I can even use.

your story really touched me. I have 2 boys and ha...

2011-12-15T21:43:50.456-05:00

your story really touched me. I have 2 boys and have only begun to learn the ways of "attachment parenting" I feel as though following this book led to breastfeeding failure and I deal with this constant guilt everyday. I am not quite sure how I will ever heal from it. The more I learn the more guilt I feel. The only thing that helps me is my boys are wonderful loving, crazy little

i had a friend who was raising her child by the ba...

2011-07-24T11:41:15.145-04:00

i had a friend who was raising her child by the babywise method. at a few months she came to me from her mama because i played with her for an hour! the next time i visited, she had left her child crying for 45 minutes in her crib because she should've been sleeping, when in fact she had diarrhea in her diaper that turned into a nasty rash.

I AP and i hear from some non AP

"Our daughter just turned 16 weeks, and the B...

2011-07-24T08:57:39.369-04:00

"Our daughter just turned 16 weeks, and the Babywise schedule has worked very well for us so far. We stick fairly close to it, but are not rigid enough to recognize the occasion/need for flexibility, be they due to circumstance or obvious hunger."

At 16 weeks, I thought Babywise was working great, thought that I was using flexibility and common sense. Thought I saw the hunger

I have a 9 month old son. I was given Babywise bef...

2011-07-24T01:47:31.433-04:00

I have a 9 month old son. I was given Babywise before the birth, and although i was advised against reading it by an attachment parenting friend, I read it. It appealed to me as I like being in control and organised. After a difficult birth though, and a few days without being able to feed (me in ICU, baby in NICU), things didn't go as i planned. when we took himn home, he wouldn't just

I live with someone who was left to cry a lot as a...

2011-07-22T21:12:40.017-04:00

I live with someone who was left to cry a lot as a baby and wasn't cuddled much. He's now in his 50s. I consider the way he was raised to be child abuse. His parents loved him and they were quite affluent, but agree now that they knew nothing about raising kids. They were taking advice from old-fashioned, upper-class European parents who had relied on nannies to raise their kids.
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Thank you for sharing such an honest personal stor...

2011-07-07T22:49:32.228-04:00

Thank you for sharing such an honest personal story.

i have a close acquaintance who did babywise. I h...

2011-07-06T12:56:55.691-04:00

i have a close acquaintance who did babywise. I had already been through the infant stuff with my babies and it seemed so unnatural to watch the clock rather than the baby for cues. I absoutely could not stand to listen to this baby crying for hours because she was hungry or because it is nap time and she "should" be sleeping.
The thing is that as this baby got older, she didn&

ust came across this article and can't tell yo...

2011-06-08T14:25:54.409-04:00

ust came across this article and can't tell you how encouraging it was. I too am a "Failed Babywiser". I thought I had it all figured out with our first but he just didn't fit into the mold I was crazily trying to fit him into. It made my first experience as a mom irritating, not enjoyable, depressing, and sadly, I probably missed out on so much joy all because things were

It took a lot of courage to write and post this. T...

2011-04-22T12:40:22.438-04:00

It took a lot of courage to write and post this. Thank you!

I just want to thank the author for sharing this. ...

2011-04-19T07:52:26.532-04:00

I just want to thank the author for sharing this. I have so much admiration for parents that can change as needed for their children and open their hearts in this way. Congratulations to her for her breastfeeding success.

I was wondering if she's still teaching classes or not? There are many churches that have implemented bans against Ezzo so this might be something she could

Thank you for posting this your honesty and openne...

2011-04-18T17:40:26.706-04:00

Thank you for posting this your honesty and openness are amazing may God bless you and your family!

I am so glad I came across this article! This is o...

2011-04-18T13:29:48.407-04:00

I am so glad I came across this article! This is one of the best things I've read on the subject yet, and I will be passing it along. We are Jesus-loving AP parents in a Babywise community, and often feel alone in our choices. I read Babywise when I was pregnant at the encouragement of many friends, and I could hardly get through it. It went against everything we knew to be right in how we

After reading this post, which I very much appreci...

2011-04-18T11:41:56.593-04:00

After reading this post, which I very much appreciate, then following a few links and perusing the comments, I'm surprised that I will be the first one to disagree.

Our daughter just turned 16 weeks, and the Babywise schedule has worked very well for us so far. We stick fairly close to it, but are not rigid enough to recognize the occasion/need for flexibility, be they due to

I did not read BabyWise, but I read literature whe...

2011-03-20T00:44:21.184-04:00

I did not read BabyWise, but I read literature when I had my baby that followed a similar feeding schedule, so naturally I thought that was the way to do it. My son was miserable and started losing weight, and I could not figure out what I was doing wrong. One of my friends said to feed my baby every time he cried, and at LEAST 2 to 3 hours from the START of the last feeding. I thought this

I came on here to research the method because I...

2011-03-01T01:06:50.113-05:00

I came on here to research the method because I'm so firmly against it (our old small group at one point wanted to use Gary Ezzo's "Growing Kid's God's Way" as a Bible Study. YIKES!)

I've seen the effect of CIO, both my nephews are not normal. The oldest responded to it by becoming a people pleaser, closer with a stranger than his own family. He values

I agree with Deedra in that I found the "paga...

2010-08-05T00:04:01.640-04:00

I agree with Deedra in that I found the "pagan" comment quite offensive. It shows little respect, compassion or understanding of people who's beliefs are different than yours and your husbands. It certainly shows a lack of knowledge about what "pagan" means, or what they believe.

Beyond that, I appreciate the article and your openness. I think people who are

I only have one 19 mo. old who still breastfeeds a...

2010-08-04T19:08:41.695-04:00

I only have one 19 mo. old who still breastfeeds and I was given babywise as a gift. I read most of it but my instinct kicked in and told me that this would not work for my opinionated daughter! I didn't realize what I did had a label, but I fully understand my choice to practice attachment parenting. I thank God everyday for my daughter and his gift of intuition for me to know what to do

I think that is great that you chose to share your...

2010-06-21T08:46:03.502-04:00

I think that is great that you chose to share your story and try to help other mothers that may be suffering as you have suffered. It seems like you chose your words carefully and the article is very well written. I just don't know how I feel about your husband referring to society at large as Pagans. That word has a very derogatory implication. While I value his service to his religion and

We read 'Babywise' and were determined to ...

2010-04-26T16:14:45.984-04:00

We read 'Babywise' and were determined to follow it. Thank goodness I didn't have the conviction to follow through with it. After reading this, my suspicions about that method have been confirmed.

I'm so sorry you and your family had to go through this, but I am thankful you have posted this so we can all learn from your experience.

I am glad I never came across any "BabyWise&q...

2010-04-13T13:03:46.418-04:00

I am glad I never came across any "BabyWise" book until right now that I'm reading this article.

But let me tell you something, that I don't think that I would ever taken it seriously as me and 'schedules' don't get along very well at all.

Alexandra, thanks so much for writing this story. ...

2010-02-09T11:20:10.200-05:00

Alexandra, thanks so much for writing this story. It was very hard to read, and I can only imagine how difficult it was to write. A friend of mine suggested those books to us when my 2 year old was born. Thank goodness I was too sleep-deprived from nursing-on-demand to get around to getting the book! I was wondering recently if I should get it for my next child, but now I definitely won't

MommyOctopus, It's hard, isn't it? I do b...

2010-01-30T15:00:04.238-05:00

MommyOctopus, It's hard, isn't it? I do believe that a mother's love and God's grace cover a multitude of screw ups. And that these mistakes we've made DO impact our kids, but can turn into something good.

I used this method with my 6 year old. She is by ...

2010-01-27T21:52:49.051-05:00

I used this method with my 6 year old. She is by far extremely high strung and cannot relax. I nursed on demand wth my other 2 and they are completely polar opposites - they are relaxed, cuddly, happy kids. I feel like I completely failed my oldest due to Ezzo's methods.

I love the story! Thanks so much for sharing, even...

2010-01-25T22:08:47.053-05:00

I love the story! Thanks so much for sharing, even though I never read the book or even knew who he was, I felt the pressures from a lot of people (I have an 18 month old) and wish I had a stronger support group during the early days, however I stuck to my guns and am so happy that I did!!