Amidst Shekinah Glory, Husband Loses Best Friend and Sings His Baby Girl to Heaven

By Danelle Frisbie © 2011

Beautiful Baby Miranda with her Momma's ring on

My hands are trembling as I type this. Knowing there is simply no way to do justice to two beautiful lives we lost this past week. Knowing further still that there is nothing in my power that can be done to ease the pain of loss that one husband and father is having to endure. All I can do is lift him up. Tell a tiny fraction of his story, and hopefully ease a bit of the strain that comes with burying his best friend (his wife) and daughter, and celebrate their lives with him.

This past Saturday, Chad Cole and his wife, Sara, were traveling along I-94 to their uncle's house in Michigan. Sara was 35 weeks pregnant, and they were both overjoyed looking forward to this new baby soon to arrive. Chad and Sara had met in college at Spring Arbor University over 15 years ago, and married in 1996. Chad says they lived a "suitably quiet" life together, filled with evenings cuddling on the couch, watching television, and playing Sudoku. This new baby would be their first child - one they'd tried and waited and prayed for.

When they first found they were expecting, Chad and Sara decided to keep it a secret between the two of them. They planned to break the news to their parents on Grandparents Day, but ended up being too excited to wait that long. Chad's eager new-father spirit broke through into daddy blogging on a site he called, Our Little Secret. He posted a picture of the pregnancy test with two small pink lines showing, and later wrote that this day, June 19th, was the best of 2010. "Two lines...two beautiful...perfect...clearly readable pink lines...that's my best memory of 2010. You've got big shoes to fill 2011...big shoes..."

This past weekend, Chad and Sara did not know yet if they would be blessed with a son or daughter, but a few short weeks would reveal the surprise. Chad said that “Sara was very excited about the arrival of this baby. She was looking forward to being a full-time mom.” Her boss at Brown Floral in Jackson, Michigan, didn't feel exactly the same way. Chris Grostefon said that Sara had such a talent for arranging flowers - especially for weddings - that she didn't want her to leave the shop. Staff were already in the process of putting together an album featuring Sara's work, and Grostefon asked Sara if she'd be a 'wedding consultant' on occasion while she was busy mothering her little one at home. With a love for sewing, the new momma-to-be spent these past several weeks pouring her heart into an assortment of baby-related projects, including sewing new clothes for her upcoming arrival.

Sara's quilt in progress for her baby

As many around the nation are well aware, the Midwest blizzards of Feb 5th came in fierce and ferociously as Chad and Sara were traveling on Saturday. Sara's father was driving the van they rode in, her mother also up front, while Chad and Sara sat in the backseat. It was near white-out conditions and very difficult to see the road or other drivers. With accidents up ahead on the interstate in Sandstone Township, they pulled to a stop near the side of the Dearing Road intersection.

For reasons yet unknown, a semi truck came from behind the location where Chad and Sara and her parents were stopped, and smashed into the back of their van. Upon impact, Sara's uterus ruptured, and while rescue workers tried for an hour to resuscitate her in transit and at the hospital, Chad believes his wife was gone immediately. The next day he wrote, "I lost my best friend of over 15 years yesterday. She was taken from this earth far too early. Knowing that she is resting in Jesus' loving care doesn't begin to address the emptiness and hurt that I feel today."

At 2:17pm, forty five minutes after the crash, Chad and Sara's beautiful new daughter, with a face as sweet as her momma's, was pulled from Sara's body. Chad and Sara had not yet selected a name, but had a list of their favorites. Chad decided on Miranda Evangelene saying, "The name is the only one that came to my mind, and made sense, and made me feel peaceful." Miranda's name means she who must be admired.

Baby Miranda did not have a heartbeat or brain activity when she was pulled from her mom. Doctors worked quickly to resuscitate her fragile body, and got her heart pumping. However, after 45 minutes of being disconnected from her mother-life-source, with the impact of the accident, brain swelling was inevitable in tiny Miranda. Gazing upon his amazing new daughter, Chad wrote, "My heart is broken. Please pray for Miranda. Please pray for a miracle. She's a beautiful little girl, and she's fighting..."

For three days Chad sat by Miranda and soaked up his beloved daughter, holding her hand as she went through a body-cooling treatment to keep her body temperature low and to try to reduce swelling in her brain. From a quiet NICU after shift-changes, Chad wrote, "I cannot express in words how much it meant for me to be able to hold my precious little girl." And in a letter to her he said, "Daddy needs to be honest with you, I'm selfish. I don't want to think that your going to be with mommy and Jesus is an option. I want you right here. I don't want to ask God for a miracle, I want to demand one. I want Him to feel like he owes me this. [...] I love you, more than I could have imagined."

Miracles continued to be prayed for - by thousands. But sometimes there are bigger plans that we only struggle to understand.

Chad abruptly had to let go of his wife, and best friend, Sara, on Saturday. And last night, with his dear baby Miranda on his chest, he sang his sweet little angel to heaven.

Chad would like to thank each of you who prayed with him, and for him, over these last few days:

I cannot begin to express my gratitude for, nor my amazement at, what has happened over the past three days. Never in my life have I felt so surrounded with love. This has been the worst three days of my life, and yet, at the same time, it has been three glorious days, full of shekinah glory.

As I prepared to hold my darling daughter to my chest this evening, I was terrified that I would break...literally break...into pieces. My fears were unjustified. The hand of God so reached down and touched me, that I was able to sing my sweet angel into heaven. That peace stayed with me while I bathed her. It covered me like a deep blanket of snow while I dressed her for the first time. It kept a smile on my face while we took pictures and I was able to introduce her to her extended families without all those wires and tubes sticking out of her. You are all responsible for that peace.

God's miracle to me was giving me strength beyond my own. Endurance that I could never have mustered. Helping me carry my daughter proudly down long, silent corridors as we approached the gathered family and friends who were singing upon our arrival:

All creatures of our God and King
Lift up your voice and with us sing,
Alleluia! Alleluia!
Thou burning sun with golden beam,
Thou silver moon with softer gleam!

O praise Him! O praise Him!
Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!

Thou rushing wind that art so strong
Ye clouds that sail in Heaven along,
O praise Him! Alleluia!
Thou rising moon, in praise rejoice,
Ye lights of evening, find a voice!

Thou flowing water, pure and clear,
Make music for thy Lord to hear,
O praise Him! Alleluia!
Thou fire so masterful and bright,
That givest man both warmth and light.

Dear mother earth, who day by day
Unfoldest blessings on our way,
O praise Him! Alleluia!
The flowers and fruits that in thee grow,
Let them His glory also show.

And all ye men of tender heart,
Forgiving others, take your part,
O sing ye! Alleluia!
Ye who long pain and sorrow bear,
Praise God and on Him cast your care!

And thou most kind and gentle Death,
Waiting to hush our latest breath,
O praise Him! Alleluia!
Thou leadest home the child of God,
And Christ our Lord the way hath trod.

I am blessed, truly blessed this early morning.

I do realize that dark clouds are on the horizon. The hurting will not go away, or end, just because today is done. It's 3:45am, and Stevie, our 10 year old cat, is wandering around the house crying for his "mommy." All he knows is that he hasn't seen her in 3 days and misses her. His simple desire to sit on her lap and enjoy a good scratch brings tears to my eyes. No matter how hard I try, I know that I can't provide for him what he'd grown to love and desire from Sara. He sits on the step to the family room, watching me type, and I can see his questions in his eyes, "Where is she? When will she be home?" He occasionally glances at the back door, as if he expects her to walk in any moment.

This house already feels like a shell, an empty reflection of what it once was. I've had this same feeling every time I looked at myself in a mirror over the past 3 days. I just didn't recognize the man who was looking back. He seemed familiar, but not quite the same as what it felt like he should look like.

The only thing that keeps the dark waters of despair and depression from flooding over me at this time is the levy of Christ's love. A levy woven from the fabric of your prayers. While God may not have given me my heart's desire, He has stopped up the floodwaters. He has thrown me a life jacket that keeps me from drowning in the deep pits and pools that Satan would love to pull me down into.

Thank you, one thousand times - one million times, thank you!

O praise Him! O praise Him!
Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!

The most trying times for Chad, and Sara's family, will likely be weeks and months from now, when all of the intense pressure from this past week has faded, and fewer people come to offer hugs and prayer and love. It is then, in the stillness, that they will need arms, both divine and human, wrapped tightly around them.

During the month of February, all donations made to peaceful parenting will go to help Chad in whatever fashion he deems wise and needed. He says that they will "decide at a later date, and as a family, how to use the memorial. Sara had many things she loved and was passionate about, so the decision(s) will not be easy." You can give a gift here via PayPal, or use the link URL (below) to copy/paste and share in email or online. Checks made to peaceful parenting this month will be donated to Chad and Sara's memorial fund.

Peaceful Parenting

P.O. Box 1302

Virginia Beach, VA 23451

URL:
https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=T4HRCSDLTPTVE

Flagstar Bank is accepting donations to:

Sara Cole Memorial Fund

c/o Flagstar Bank

2000 Horton Road

Jackson, MI 49203

Celebrations of the Life of Sara and Miranda Cole

Visitation

Spring Arbor Free Methodist Church

120 E. Main

Spring Arbor, MI

Friday, February 11th

2-4 pm

6-8 pm

Saturday, February 12th

10 - 11 am

Service

Spring Arbor Free Methodist Church (Sanctuary)

120 E. Main

Spring Arbor, MI

February 12th

11 am

Chad would like each of you to know,

I have had many people say to me, write to me, say about me, and write about me, what a great "man of God" I am. I'm not sure I can live up to the bar that has been set.

What you've seen in me over the past few days has little to do with being a strong and vibrant Man of Faith. I am a man who feels like all this world held for him has been stripped away, leaving him standing cold and naked, with two choices: cling to the Rock or let go. I have no choice. I must cling to the Rock. All else is misery, selfish humanity, and destructive despair.

Your prayers have been appreciated. They have helped my fingers hold fast. I will be clinging here for some time to come, and want you to know how much your support has meant and how long it will last.

Thank you, friends,
Chad

Further information see:

Our Little Secret (Chad's Blog)

Pray For Baby Miranda (event on Facebook)

In Loving Memory of Sara and Miranda (Facebook page)

MLive News Reports

Obituary

Legacy.com Guest Book

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