Words of Wisdom and Encouragement

"If for a while the harder you try, the harder it gets, take heart; so it has been with the best people who have ever lived." -Jeffrey R. Holland 

Be brave, my heart. <3 Have courage, my soul.

If you feel you don't fit in, in this world, it's because you're here to build a better one.

"Even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth, 'You owe me.'
Look what happens with a love like that - it lights the whole sky." -Hafiz, The Gift

May you always see the light, even in the darkness.

Surround yourself with people who love you for being you.

May the voices that cheer you on, always be louder than those that don't.

Wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it.
Right is right, even if only YOU are doing it.

Today, a caterpillar. Tomorrow, a butterfly.
Don't lose hope. You never know what tomorrow will bring.

"Let them judge you. Let them misunderstand you. Let them gossip about you. Their opinions aren't your problem. You stay kind, committed to LOVE, and free in your authenticity. No matter what they do or say, don't you dare doubt your worth or the beauty of your truth. Just keep on SHINING like you do." -Scott Stabile

"Hate has caused a lot of problems in this world, but it has not solved one yet." -Maya Angelou

"The coolest people I've ever met have the most colorful pasts. They've lived lives of risk, made bad choices, learned lessons, explored, and they're not afraid of being real. Tattered tapestries woven of similar threads, they're my kind of people - my favorite shades of crazy." -Stephen L. Lizotte

How to stop time: kiss.
How to travel in time: read.
How to escape time: music.
How to feel time: write.
How to release time: breathe.

What's the greatest lesson a woman should learn? That since Day One she's already had everything she needs within herself. It's the world that convinced her she did not. -Rupi Kaur

Everyone wants to be the sun to lighten up someone's life; but why not be the moon to brighten in the darkest hour...

Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.

"The best thing you can do as a father is make sure they see how you love their mother." -Matthew McConaughey

Sometimes it's okay if the only thing you did today was breathe.

People inspire you or they drain you. Pick them wisely. -Hans F. Hansen

Love Matters!

By Danelle Day © 2018

It is difficult to have an unbroken civilization when we begin breaking children at birth... when we lack compassion, empathy, and *involvement* in loving babies and children (responding readily to their cues and needs), supporting mothering (or gentle/conscious parenting in general). When we raise detached, isolated, anxious, lonely babies/children into detached, isolated, anxious, lonely adults, what do we expect to happen along the way?

Peacefully parenting all little ones (no matter their sex) from the very beginning can powerfully and positively break this destructive cycle that has become ubiquitous in the United States and is overflowing now with its disarray.

A gently parented child who has been loved intensely, and responded to without fail, who has been tuned-into, heard, and shown compassion, by a well-supported parent, from birth onward does not grow to kill.


Pick up your baby. Respond to their cues. Hold them. Wear them. Rock them. Keep them intact. Keep them close. Snuggle down at night safely beside them. Show them that they can trust you, and trust this world around them. Show them what love feels like, so they won’t need to doubt that it exists. This time is short and fleeting, but impacts a *lifetime* to come.

If there are just two books that would do the world good for everyone to read, and put into practice, it would be these:

[and the many reasons that genital cutting at birth, neglect, leaving a baby to cry alone, not responding to cues, and general lack of affection forever hurts a baby, child, and adult]

[how gentle, conscious parenting of babies and children can break cycles of destruction and lead to healthy, happy adults of tomorrow]

Related Reading: 

Where are all the happy babies?

Dr. David Chamberlain on Smiling Babies and Civilization

Babies Know More Than You Think:

Peaceful Parenting: Giving Babies the Best Start in Life

Cosleeping and Biological Imperatives: Why Human Babies Do Not and Should Not Sleep Alone

Primal Love and Mothering

Loveness in the Brokenness

Windows to the Womb: Revealing the Conscious Baby from Conception to Birth

Primal Health: Understanding the Critical Period Between Conception and the First Birthday

The Scientification of Love

Peaceful Parenting Group

Gentle Parenting Discussion Groups by Topic

Dr. David Chamberlain on Smiling Babies

Not a Pacifier

By Sarah for Nurshable: Joy in Gentle Parenting
Read more by Sarah here.

Dear Daughter,

You are three weeks old. You nursed pretty much straight through the night last night, as I sort of drifted in and out of being fully awake.

You’re going through a growth spurt.

When you switch sides I feel the sting of letdown. Sometimes you nurse eagerly and gulp down the milk. Sometimes you become upset because you don’t want milk. Or you don’t want the fast flow of my over-active letdown. Sometimes you just want to lay in the semi-dark and nurse peacefully while your little dark blue eyes stare at my face and your little feet kick the still-soft skin of my belly which was your former home. Sometimes you want to comfort nurse. When this happens I kiss your forehead and switch you back to the “empty” side and let you lay close. You are a wise little creature that understands what it is that you need.

I am not a human pacifier.

Usually when a mom says that, it’s an expression of frustration that their infant insists on suckling for comfort. This is not what I mean when I say this.

I am not a warm human substitute for a cold silicone and plastic doohickey.

Your father may sometimes be a human pacifier. You suckle on his pinky finger during diaper changes or when I desperately need to wash my milk-stained body in the shower and remember for a few moments that I have two arms with two hands and that the dimensions of my body do not include an oddly independent nine pound female child that is frequently suspended from my body in a wrap of lightweight gauze. Your grandfather may be a human pacifier, as he holds you lovingly while I get your big brothers ready for bed or eat a hot meal without waiting for it to cool first- a luxury of not being afraid of hot bits of soup falling on you while I eat. Your brothers may briefly be human pacifiers when they offer up their pinky fingers for you to suck on, always imitating their daddy.Your grandma may be a human pacifier when she offers you her pinky finger to suck on and sings you Russian songs from her childhood.

But my breasts are not pacifiers. Comfort sucking is not time wasted. It’s part of the job that my body and you have. It is how we evolved. We are the product of a long process of evolution that causes you to seek out my arms and my breasts, to suckle for comfort, to communicate with my immune system, to stay close and warm and protected, to stimulate the supply of your food, your antibodies, the components of breastmilk that scientists can see but cannot identify the function of.

Maybe you want the comfort of non-nutritive suckling because there is something that has you stressed out. Maybe you want a slow flow of high fat hindmilk that comes from comfort nursing. Maybe your body has some bacteria in it and you need the closeness so that your immune system can communicate with my immune system and it all can be taken care of without either of us ever knowing and without you ever becoming sick from the foreign invaders that your body cannot cope with but that my adult immune system attacks with the ferocity of a mama bear defending her cub.

Independence will come at your pace. “I DO IT MYSELF!” will become the phrase of the moment soon enough. The need to peel off and be independent is as natural a need as the need to breathe, to sleep and to eat. It comes from within the child when the child has the ability. It has come from within your brothers as they get older. It will come from within you as well. I can see it already as you bob your head against my chest in the wrap and peek over the side eager to strengthen your muscles and look at the world.

I choose to neither hold you past when you wish to be held, nor deny you comfort while it is something that you seek. I push you gently to be independent, recognizing that your world naturally expands within your comfort zone without me needing to push you past it into tears.

I am not a “human pacifier”. I am what you have a biological and evolutionary need for. I will not devalue your needs by implying that you lack the wisdom and understanding of what those needs are. I will not devalue your needs by becoming frustrated by your refusal to accept something that does not meet those needs. I want you to listen to your body from the beginning, to understand the difference between a healthy need of yours and a pacifying object. To have an understanding that dates back to the beginnings of your time on this planet.. That comfort comes from having your needs met, not from distracting yourself with something pink, pretty and plastic.

No manufacturer makes what you need for happiness, little one. I want you to understand this from the beginning of your life. Happiness comes from love, from closeness, and from deep inside of you. Seek this happiness, and never be distracted by things that simply pacify you rather than satisfying your needs.

Sarah is a gentle parenting mom of three who writes at Nurshable. Learn more about her passions and how to 'wait it out' when it comes to baby sleep at her site

Breastfeeding mothers are welcome to join the Breastfeeding Group: FB.com/groups/Breastfed

Loveness in the Brokenness

By Kathleen Fleming, Majestic Unicorn

This was my hallway last Wednesday.

Broken. Sharp. Treacherous.

This was my hallway. It was my son who did this.

Sometimes, often really, things break - irreparably. And it takes your breath away...straight away. It took my breath away when my son stormed into the bathroom, frustrated, angry, fed-up for his very own, very significant to him, reasons. And when he chose to SLAM the bathroom door, causing the heavy mirror mounted to the front to slip out of the hardware holding it in place and crash onto the floor - a million, BROKEN pieces were left reflecting the afternoon light.

I was quiet.

I surveyed the damage and took a deep breath.

Put the dog outside so he wouldn't cut his feet, put the cat in the basement for the same reason.

I walked into the backyard and felt the hot tears streaming down my face. It's amazing how alone you can feel as a single parent in moments like these. I realized how scared and disappointed I felt. Did this really just happen? Yes. This was real. And as I stood and considered whether or not this was an indication of his developing character, I heard his tears through the window above me, coming from inside the bathroom. His soul hurt. This was not what he expected either. Hello, Anger - I don't remember inviting you into my house. Scary. Terrified. Ashamed. Worried. Scared.

Deep breath, #MamaWarrior. Deep breath.

That small, fragile soul needs you right now. He needs your very best. Your biggest compassion. Your most gentle and firm mama love and reassurance. More deep breaths. Go Mama. Go. Go now. Go open the front door, tiptoe through the broken glass, hear him hearing you coming, watch the bathroom door crack open, see the face you love most in the world red with worry and wet with tears, his voice is suddenly so small: "Mama, I'll never do it again, I am SO sorry." More tears. More weeping. Such uncertainty on his sweet face.

Go Mama. Get him. Go now. Scoop him into your lap. Yup, you're crying too. Damn this was big. Hold him tight. Watch how he curls into a ball in your arms so quickly. See how eager he is to be loved by you. To be reassured by you. See how small he still is. See how fragile that spirit is.

I love you.
You are safe.
I am right here.

The worst part is over now. I've got you. I'm here. I love you. Go Mama. Tell him about Anger. Tell him now. Anger is a really powerful feeling. You have a right to your Anger. Anger burns hot. It can purify. It can also destroy. He nods. He feels it. He's met Anger now. There's a better way to show your big feelings. We'll work on it together...tomorrow.

I'm here to help you. You are safe. You are never alone in your anger. You are never alone in your fears. I'm here. We're here together.

Now we will clean together.

And we cleaned up the broken pieces. We swept and we vacuumed. It was quiet work. It was careful work. It was thoughtful work.

Sometimes things break. Sometimes we break them. It's not the breaking that matters, the how or why. What matters is how we choose to respond to the broken-ness. Does it kill us? Does it throw us into a downward spiral of blame and punishment? OR does it help us remember how to love deepest? Does it push us towards compassion and over the hurdle of "rightness" and "wrongness" into LOVENESS? Yes. LOVENESS.

Go Mama. Go now. Get that baby of yours. Teach that. Show that. Live that. It's called LOVENESS. Go. Now.

Mother Love by Lulu, United Arab Emirates | Find more art by Lulu at Deviant Art

Related Reading: 

About the author.
Read more from Fleming at Majestic Unicorn and find her on Facebook here.

Tackling Distress Tantrums with Brain Research

When Things Get Physical: Hitting, Throwing, Kicking, Biting

Love Matters

Why Spanking is Never Okay

Peaceful Parenting Group

Genital Integrity Awareness Week 2018

Registration and Sponsorship also at:

Genital Integrity Awareness Week 2018 takes place March 28-April 3 and we need your help to make this year's Washington D.C. event a powerful one! As advocates travel to D.C. to participate, and floods of tourists the world over gather in D.C. for the height of the annual Cherry Blossom Festival, we strive to have intact materials on hand to reach a large number of people at our nation's capitol. These are items that parents and professionals, young and old, from all backgrounds and locations in life will want to take home with them for further review. Making this happen takes a significant amount of planning, organization, and resources on the part of many people, and it also takes financial support.

If you have never been to GIAW in D.C., here's a quick snapshot of a day's event:

We are standing with a dozen others in front of the U.S. Capitol, with giant pro-intact signs that draw people in, and can be seen from the streets all around the Capitol's bus route. A group of 200 senior high students come up, interested in what we have to share. Teachers shuffle students along for group photos, and we have mere minutes to plant seeds of information, respond to quick questions, and get interesting materials into hands of these future parents -- materials they eagerly take with them because their curiosity is spiked! Students grab things to take back on the bus (bracelets, cards, stickers, buttons), and look things up on their phone on their way to their next destination... This happens every single hour. Multiple times a day. Sun-up to sun-down. The need is great for GIAW. The impact is monumental. And we need your support in this important effort.

We will also be hosting two booths with free materials on the West Lawn:

The Men's Health table includes a variety of restoration devices for men to hold, learn about, and explore their options; information on adult sexual health, and the impact that genital cutting and restoration has on adult men and their partners.

The Baby Health table includes instruments used in infant circumcision, information on the purposes of the foreskin, intact care materials, and resources for parents to pass on to friends and their home care provider. This table also has items for our young visitors because families who stop to talk often have children who want things of their own (child sized bracelets, stickers, bubbles, coloring pages, etc.).

Business Sponsors: Please include a note with your GIAW contribution and your organization name/URL that you'd like to have linked (website, Facebook page, etc.). With your support of $100 or more, we invite you to provide an image/logo or coupon to be shared with the community at large. Email this to SavingSons@gmail.com, or we will create one for you. Your business or group will be featured at at the main GIAW website, at DrMomma.org, and at SavingSons.org, as well as with social media circles of Peaceful ParentingSaving Our Sons, The Intact NetworkGIAW, Intact State Chapters, and be permanently linked at Genital Integrity Awareness Week and found on Google.

GIAW Sponsors:  2018  |  2017  |  2016  |  2015  |  2014  |  2013

Individuals: If you are sponsoring in honor of someone, we invite you to include a message with your gift and it will be included below. Individual sponsors will be listed by first name, last initial only for privacy.

Supporters: All supporting GIAW 2018 with your gift of any amount will receive commemorative vinyl decals with additional intact awareness stickers to plant in your area, if a mailing address is provided. For GIAW sponsors giving $25 or more, a registration pack (below) will be shipped, or can be picked up in DC.

Support on Etsy, or by PayPal, or by mail (below). Include a note with your address and selection choices, or email this to SavingSons@gmail.com

Registration and Thank You packs include: 
• 3 GIAW 2018 / Child Abuse Prevention Month vinyl decal stickers (3x3 inches)
• 1 GIAW 2018 commemorative button
• 1 #i2 lanyard of your choice (4 options to view here: Navy, Ocean, Violet, Hot Pink)
• 1 #i2 bracelet of your choice (view options)
• 25 set of stickers or cards of your choice (see sticker options here | see card options here)
* If attending GIAW and picking up in DC: #i2 water bottle 

On behalf of the next generation of babies to be born, and the adults they will become -
Thank you for supporting GIAW!

By Mail:
Saving Our Sons
P.O. Box 1302
Virginia Beach, VA 23451

PayPal Friends/Family To:
(no PayPal fee withdrawn)

GIAW 2018 Organization Sponsors
Please visit and support these intact-friendly businesses and groups!

Intact Australia
Homepage | Facebook | Intact Australia and New Zealand Group

Intact Connecticut
Facebook | Intact Connecticut Group

Intact Virginia
Facebook | Intact Virginia Group

NORM: National Organization of Restoring Men
NORM.org | Facebook | Twitter

Made For You: By Anu
custom crochet for all your home and family needs
Contact | Facebook | Etsy

Individual GIAW 2018 Supporters
Thank you greatly for your generosity and support!

✭ Tresyang D.

✭ Max R., Intact Australia

✭ Brian B., Intact Connecticut

✭ Christina H., Intact Virginia

✭ Rodney D.

✭ Anu M., Intact Pennsylvania

✭ Eric S. and Holly M., Intact Houston

✭ David G.

✭ Jamie B., Intact Alabama

✭ Austin H.

✭ Danelle D.

✭ Brian T.

✭ Melissa L.

✭ Elana J., Intact Nebraska

Allocation of GIAW 2018 Funds
(materials can only be ordered in the quantities we have funded by March 20 - please help us reach our needed goal!) 

$800 new signage that will continue to be used throughout the year for rallies, expos, events, and future GIAW dates. We especially need a few of these to be new signs for kids to hold as ours are several years old and we have approximately 24 children attending GIAW with their families for most of the week this year. Children love to participate alongside their parents. 

$800 printed materials to give away at GIAW 2018. This week-long event functions as an expo, with booths of items that are entirely free for the public, meeting with people across the West Lawn from sun-up to sun-down each day for 7 days. Having enough professional literature on hand is crucial to GIAW's success. 

$300 Easter egg hunt on the West Lawn for children - we would like to ensure all children visiting the US Capitol can participate and that there will be enough to go around; we will also have child-sized advocacy bracelets, and a variety of #i2 themed stickers for children (Pokemon, Wonder Woman, and Intactosaurus). 

$200 flags for passing out along the march route, and giving away at the White House. Each flag will have intact information attached to it. These are *very* popular in DC and frequently chaperone groups who will not allow students to take other materials from GIAW leaders will allow them to accept and take home flags (getting intact material into their hands). 

$600 bracelets and buttons to give away throughout the week. These items are key in that they are the most requested items, especially by students - tomorrow's parents. We need materials that young people desire to hold onto, take home with them, and spark interest enough to check out the websites/share with friends. Awareness is key!

$60 two new full-color, full-page books of intact celebrities - one for the men's health booth, and one for the front West Wall of the Capitol where the most conversations take place.

$40 replacement plastibell, gomco, and mogen clamps for educational use (previously taken from an expo booth) 

$200 demonstration glans/foreskin models (in two skin shades) to highlight the normal adhesion of the foreskin to the glans/shaft in infancy, and the probing, severing, and cutting that must take place for infant circumcision to be achieved. These models are highly useful in one-on-one or small group education at expo booths.

If GIAW funds are raised beyond those needed, we will have intact material packs available to go home with people (U.S. advocates, leaders, teachers, and the international educators who visit the Capitol during GIAW and often ask for things to take back with them).  

Lanyard Options to Select From:
• Royal Blue: Genital Autonomy is a Human Right
• Violet: All Babies are Born Perfect
• Hot Pink: Foreskin is Fun & Functional
• Deep Aqua Blue: Boys are Not Born Broken

GIAW 2018 Buttons


Love, that is to nurse

No safer place in the world,
No better place to rest.
No calmer harbour can be found,
Than that of Mother’s breast.

No poetry brings it justice,
No rhyme or ancient verse.
One word only can love describe,
Love, that is to nurse. 💛

via PD Photography
MUA: @theminkzbox
Tribal Art: @kustom_stuff

The Breastfeeding Group

Should I Circumcise My Son? The Pros and Cons of Infant Circumcision

New to the subject of infant circumcision and the benefits of the prepuce (foreskin)? The following are resources many families have found useful when looking at the subject for the first time. They are meant to be a starting point into deeper investigation and further research that is widely available today. If you only have a short period of time to spend on this topic, a blue star marks films with physicians' statements who are in practice today, as well as medical professionals' materials.

★ Functions of the Foreskin: Drmomma.org/2009/09/functions-of-foreskin-purposes-of.html

★ Intact vs. Circumcised: A Significant Difference in the Adult Penis: Drmomma.org/2011/08/intact-or-circumcised-significant.html 

Why did circumcision start as we now know it in the U.S.? Hear from some original doctors on the matter: Savingsons.org/2012/07/circumcision-to-reduce-mens-sexual.html

Faith Considerations on Circumcision (resources by/for Jews, Christians, and Muslims): Drmomma.org/2011/01/faith-considerations-on-circumcision.html

Peer reviewed research (studies published in medical journals): Drmomma.org/2007/01/circumcision-studies.html

★ Are there medical benefits to circumcision? Read national medical statements from around the world: Drmomma.org/2014/08/medical-organization-position.html

Physicians' thoughts within the medical field today: FB.com/IntactCare

Well researched books written on the subject: http://astore.amazon.com/savingsons.org-20

Dr. Ryan McAllister's Georgetown University video lecture, Elephant in the Hospital (also included on DVD in the info pack below): http://www.library.georgetown.edu/gelardin/showcase/entries/circumcision-elephant-hospital

Dr. Christopher Guest's video, Circumcision: The Whole Story: http://youtu.be/SeAXantm4tE

Whose Body, Whose Rights? Award-winning circumcision documentary: SavingSons.org/2017/01/whose-body-whose-rights-circumcision.html

The Real Reason You're Circumcised from College Humor: Collegehumor.com/video/6966989/the-real-reason-youre-circumcised

Penn & Teller: Bullsh*t Circumcision Episode: SavingSons.org/2013/03/happy-birthday-penn-jillette.html

★ Intact Care: Drmomma.org/2009/06/how-to-care-for-intact-penis-protect.html
Circumcision Care: Nocirc.org/publish/pamphlet5.html

The two most common forms of circumcision in North American today: 

Gomco: Savingsons.org/2011/01/neonatal-circumcision-video-for.html

Plastibell: Drmomma.org/2009/08/plastibell-infant-circumcision.html [Note that the Plastibell is the type of circumcision most often referred to as a 'no-cutting' or 'no-blood' method.]

Outcome Statistics (Circumcised vs. Intact): Drmomma.org/2010/01/cut-vs-intact-outcome-statistics.html

Men speakSavingSons.org/2017/04/men-speak.html
Facebook conversations by men: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.487363627949430.115346.166998263319303

Over 250,000 men are restoring some of what was lost to circumcision. It improves sex in a wide variety of ways. Google 'foreskin restoration' and check out any of these resources: Savingsons.org/2009/10/foreskin-restoration.html

8 articles published at Psychology Today: Savingsons.org/2011/10/psychology-today-circumcision-series.html

For those with older sons who were circumcised: 
Public Page: FB.com/FutureSons 
Discussion Group: FB.com/groups/FutureSons
Related items from others with circumcised sons: Drmomma.org/2010/05/i-circumcised-my-son-healing-from.html 

What does this have to do with WOMEN? 
Book by same title: http://astore.amazon.com/savingsons.org-20

How Male Circumcision Impacts Your Love Life: Drmomma.org/2009/10/how-male-circumcision-impacts-your-love.html

Women's Health and Male Circumcision Resource List: Drmomma.org/2009/07/how-male-circumcision-impacts-women.html

HIV/AIDS and the African Trials: AIDSCirc.org and the HIV resource page: Drmomma.org/2014/01/hiv-aids-circumcision-resources.html

50 Reasons to Leave it Alone: Drmomma.org/2010/11/50-reasons-to-leave-it-alone.html 

If you'd like to join a community of parents (many with both circumcised and intact sons) to ask questions while making your decision, you are welcome to the Intact: Healthy, Happy, Whole group. Everyone is welcome to this safe-space community group.

The Info Pack (includes a DVD with several videos and full length articles); the smaller Expecting Pack; Postcards for friends; or have a professional exchange online correspondence: Savingsons.org/p/info-pack.html

Informational items (cards, stickers, bracelets, etc.): Savingsons.org/p/info-cards.html or at Etsy: Etsy.com/shop/SavingOurSons

Please feel free to email SavingSons@gmail.com at any time. Several clinicians volunteer time to field questions, and if we're not able to answer, we'll seek out a place to go for further information.

If you find these resources to be of use, please help support Saving Our Sons and work we do. We continue solely by volunteers' time and generosity. See current needs at: Savingsons.org/p/sponsor-son-waiting-list.html or give directly: https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=VQSSUQFGLFZXQ

The Penis: Sex Education 101 with Marilyn Milos



Related Posts with Thumbnails