Dwayne The Rock Johnson: Skin-to-Skin Bonding with New Baby Girl




Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson writes:

Skin to skin. Our mana.

Blessed and proud to bring another strong girl into this world.

Tiana Gia Johnson came into this world like a force of nature and Mama Lauren Hashian labored and delivered like a true rockstar.

I was raised and surrounded by strong, loving women all my life, but after participating in baby Tia’s delivery, it’s hard to express the new level of love, respect and admiration I have for Lauren and all mamas and women out there.

Word to the wise gentlemen: it’s critical to be by your lady’s head when she’s delivering, being as supportive as you can... holding hands, holding legs, whatever you can do. But, if you really want to understand the single most powerful and primal moment life will ever offer - watch your child being born. It's a life changer, and the respect and admiration you have for a woman will forever be boundless.

And to my third and youngest daughter, Tiana Gia - like I did when your two older sisters, Simone Alexandra and Jasmine Lia were born, you have my word, I’ll love, protect, guide, and make ya laugh for the rest of my life.

Your crazy dad has many responsibilities and wears many hats in this big ol’ world, but being your dad will always be the one I’m most proud to wear. Oh, and one more thing... you’re gonna love rollin’ in daddy’s pick up truck.


Are you a boy or a girl?

By Danelle Day © 2018



Before heading out on our adventures for the day, my just-turned-four-year-old son found a sparkly, purple hair clip that he wanted to wear. My husband and I are not ones to deny our kids their self expression of all "beautiful things" solely based on their sex, so our son sported it proudly this afternoon at our local petting farm.

Later this evening at supper he filled us in:

"The kids asked if I was a boy or a girl."

"What did you tell them?" I asked.

"That I’m a human."

😂🤣  Right on, little dude. We laughed.

This ever-friendly tyke is always saying he is "going to play with those humans" while we are at the park (not identifying people based on perceived gender, age, size, or skin color — only by whether they are dogs or humans he wishes to play with 😉).

May we all LOVE a little bigger, and a little more broadly, this year.




Channeling Righteous Anger for Effective Baby Saving


It takes a lot of deep breaths, and stepping away after seeds are planted, but in the end we will save FAR more babies if we can rein in the blood-curdling passion so that it is channeled in an effective, rational, calm manner.

If the end goal is "SAVE ALL THE BABIES!!!!!" it must be done in a fashion that is very cautious, planned, purposeful, and professional and/or gentle (audience dependent, and audience aware).

Inside I am deeply outraged with every fiber of my being that newborn babies every day are sexually assaulted with a blade. I can viscerally feel their pain, knowing what it is like to be a survivor of similar horrors. It is one of the very reasons I began this work over 24 years ago. But if I spill this anger over onto everyone I meet, and come across as an intense, crazy person, then people tune out, turn away, shut down, and nothing beneficial comes of it all. This is how babies are lost.

The key is figuring out how to do the most good, for the most people, to save the most babies, and process our internal (righteous) anger and passion along the way. Humans do not respond well to negative aggression, but they do (more often than not) respond to positive empowerment.

-Danelle Day


Above sticker available at Etsy for seed-planting in your area.

*******

Not a Pacifier

By Sarah for Nurshable: Joy in Gentle Parenting
Read more by Sarah here.



Dear Daughter,

You are three weeks old. You nursed pretty much straight through the night last night, as I sort of drifted in and out of being fully awake.

You’re going through a growth spurt.

When you switch sides I feel the sting of letdown. Sometimes you nurse eagerly and gulp down the milk. Sometimes you become upset because you don’t want milk. Or you don’t want the fast flow of my over-active letdown. Sometimes you just want to lay in the semi-dark and nurse peacefully while your little dark blue eyes stare at my face and your little feet kick the still-soft skin of my belly which was your former home. Sometimes you want to comfort nurse. When this happens I kiss your forehead and switch you back to the “empty” side and let you lay close. You are a wise little creature that understands what it is that you need.

I am not a human pacifier.

Usually when a mom says that, it’s an expression of frustration that their infant insists on suckling for comfort. This is not what I mean when I say this.

I am not a warm human substitute for a cold silicone and plastic doohickey.

Your father may sometimes be a human pacifier. You suckle on his pinky finger during diaper changes or when I desperately need to wash my milk-stained body in the shower and remember for a few moments that I have two arms with two hands and that the dimensions of my body do not include an oddly independent nine pound female child that is frequently suspended from my body in a wrap of lightweight gauze. Your grandfather may be a human pacifier, as he holds you lovingly while I get your big brothers ready for bed or eat a hot meal without waiting for it to cool first- a luxury of not being afraid of hot bits of soup falling on you while I eat. Your brothers may briefly be human pacifiers when they offer up their pinky fingers for you to suck on, always imitating their daddy.Your grandma may be a human pacifier when she offers you her pinky finger to suck on and sings you Russian songs from her childhood.

But my breasts are not pacifiers. Comfort sucking is not time wasted. It’s part of the job that my body and you have. It is how we evolved. We are the product of a long process of evolution that causes you to seek out my arms and my breasts, to suckle for comfort, to communicate with my immune system, to stay close and warm and protected, to stimulate the supply of your food, your antibodies, the components of breastmilk that scientists can see but cannot identify the function of.

Maybe you want the comfort of non-nutritive suckling because there is something that has you stressed out. Maybe you want a slow flow of high fat hindmilk that comes from comfort nursing. Maybe your body has some bacteria in it and you need the closeness so that your immune system can communicate with my immune system and it all can be taken care of without either of us ever knowing and without you ever becoming sick from the foreign invaders that your body cannot cope with but that my adult immune system attacks with the ferocity of a mama bear defending her cub.

Independence will come at your pace. “I DO IT MYSELF!” will become the phrase of the moment soon enough. The need to peel off and be independent is as natural a need as the need to breathe, to sleep and to eat. It comes from within the child when the child has the ability. It has come from within your brothers as they get older. It will come from within you as well. I can see it already as you bob your head against my chest in the wrap and peek over the side eager to strengthen your muscles and look at the world.

I choose to neither hold you past when you wish to be held, nor deny you comfort while it is something that you seek. I push you gently to be independent, recognizing that your world naturally expands within your comfort zone without me needing to push you past it into tears.

I am not a “human pacifier”. I am what you have a biological and evolutionary need for. I will not devalue your needs by implying that you lack the wisdom and understanding of what those needs are. I will not devalue your needs by becoming frustrated by your refusal to accept something that does not meet those needs. I want you to listen to your body from the beginning, to understand the difference between a healthy need of yours and a pacifying object. To have an understanding that dates back to the beginnings of your time on this planet.. That comfort comes from having your needs met, not from distracting yourself with something pink, pretty and plastic.

No manufacturer makes what you need for happiness, little one. I want you to understand this from the beginning of your life. Happiness comes from love, from closeness, and from deep inside of you. Seek this happiness, and never be distracted by things that simply pacify you rather than satisfying your needs.


Sarah is a gentle parenting mom of three who writes at Nurshable. Learn more about her passions and how to 'wait it out' when it comes to baby sleep at her site

Breastfeeding mothers are welcome to join the Breastfeeding Group: FB.com/groups/Breastfed

Sleep Training: A Review of Research



The following is a list of resources (articles/websites/books) for research-based information on infant sleep, night time parenting, baby crying, need for nourishment and comfort at night, and physiological body and brain responses to 'controlled crying,' 'cry it out,' or 'sleep training' methods. Also see psychological conditioning studies on the brain, immune system, development and learned helplessness (which occurs among babies whose care-givers utilize these methods).

"Crying-it-out does not lead to 'sleeping through the night' - it results in learned helplessness."
-Danelle Frisbie

Articles:
(in alphabetical order)

Adventures in Ezzoland


Ask the Experts: Sleep Training

Babies Aren't Soldiers

Babies Breathe Better During Sleep When Rocked

Baby Dreams [poem] 

Baby Sleep: A Review of Research [with links to articles]

Babies: Not Designed to Sleep Alone

Becoming Wise to Babywise [The Ezzo Method, "Growing Kids God's Way"]

Biological Imperatives: Why Babies Do Not and Should Not Sleep Alone

Breastfeeding in Bed: Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom Introduce Baby Flynn

Breastfeeding, Nightwaking: Protection from SIDS

The Case for Cue Feeding

The Con of Controlled Crying

Confessions of a Failed Babywiser

Confessions of an Accidental Cosleeper

CoSleeping Success! 

Crying It Out Causes Brain Damage

The Dangers of Cry It Out (2012)

The Dangers of Leaving Baby to Cry It Out (CIO) (2009)

Dangers of Your Baby 'Crying It Out'

Diverse Contexts of Human Infancy

Dr. William Sears on Growing Kids God's Way/Babywise

Dr. Sears on Babywearing (improves infant sleep, reduces crying and colic)

Excessive Crying Harmful to Babies

Healthy Infant Sleep

Hush Little Baby... [artwork]

I Will Carry You [poem]

Kangaroo Mother Care Saves 2lb Baby (the importance of touch and being held for babies; being close to mom even while asleep)

Milk Drunk (sleeping by baby makes night time parenting much easier!)

Night Time Parenting: A Practical Approach for the Reduction of Attachment Disorders and the Promotion of Emotionally Secure Children

Night Waking Protects Against SIDS

The No-Cry Sleep Solution

On Becoming Elderwise: Caring for Grandma God's Way

Our Bed [poem]

Peacefully Parented Babies Grow to Be Smarter, Kinder Kids  

Peaceful Parenting: Following Your Instincts

Pediatric Nurse and Former Ezzo Parent

Primal Love and Mothering

Reason 742 to Share Sleep

Rooting While at Rest [poem]

The Science of Sharing Sleep 

Seven Benefits of CoSleeping

Shaking a Crying Baby Causes Brain Damage

She's Not 'High Needs' - She's Vivacious! 



Websites:


Ezzo Information Website

Jay Gordon (Sleep: Changing Patterns in the Family Bed)

Parents Against Babywise (Facebook Page)


To connect with other parents and get in on Sleep Forums:
SafeBedSharing.Org

William Sears (31 Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep)


Books:

The No-Cry Sleep Solution

The Baby Sleep Book

Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering

The Baby Bond

The Science of Parenting

Our Babies, Ourselves

Why Love Matters

Nighttime Parenting

The Natural Child: Parenting from the Heart

The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers & Preschoolers

Natural Family Living

The Baby Book

The Continuum Concept: In Search of Happiness Lost

Baby Matters (first edition of The Baby Bond)

The Fussy Baby Book

The Premature Baby Book

Attachment Parenting: A Commonsense Guide to Understanding & Nurturing Your Baby

Primal Health: Understanding the Critical Period Between Conception and the First Birthday

The Attachment Connection: Parenting A Secure & Confident Child

Attachment Parenting: Instinctive Care for Your Baby & Young Child

Mothering Magazine 

GOOD Baby Sleep Books Collection 





5 Ways We Ignore Children's Agency That Perpetuate Rape Culture

An Everyday Feminism educational comic by Alli Kirkham



 Children are told that adults are owed their attention and affection. When that idea is internalized, it can be difficult to accept that no one is owed physical contact or emotional energy.


Children are told not to argue with authority, and to accept commands without question. After growing up being told that you must respect authority for authority's sake, it is difficult to refuse requests from someone in a position of authority for your own sake.


Children are told that even physical attacks aren't a good enough reason to resort to violence -- as adults we aren't practiced at defending ourselves, but are told we're complicit in our own abuse if we cannot fight off an attacker.


Children are often told sex isn't something they should know about, talk about, or ask questions about. People who aren't educated about consent may have trouble reporting abuse because they feel they are at fault for the abuse.


Children are told they have to do things they don't want to do because of tradition or duty. As adults it can be difficult to break away from feelings of obligation tied up in tradition, so people continue to suffer rather than break these traditions. We can change the way we treat children...


Adults need to remember that children are people - human beings, too. Instead of raising children merely to be blindly obedient, we should focus on autonomy to work toward a better world for children and the adults they become. Consent is a skill that must be taught and learned consistently. As such, it makes no sense to raise children to ignore their own consent, and then be expected to flip it on like a switch as soon as they reach adulthood. Respecting the autonomy of children is vital to creating a world in which consent is respected for people of all ages.

An Everyday Feminism educational comic strip. Transcript
Read more from Kirkham


You're growing a person, not a problem




You are raising a human being with thoughts, needs, ideas, and a personality all their own.

They aren't perfect anymore than you are, and expecting perfection will only lead to conflict, not connection.

When they make mistakes, choose understanding - not anger.

When they make poor choices, choose guidance - not punishment.

When they challenge your authority, choose peace - not warfare.

Remember, you are growing a person, not a problem.

-L.R. Knost, Little Hearts Books


Peaceful Parenting Group​

Incorporating Nature into Playtime for Children




Incorporating Nature in Play

Incorporating
Incorporating Nature in Play by Wooden Toy Shop.

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