Pleasure in Birth



Why doesn't anyone tell pregnant women that pleasure will make labor easier?  

That orgasm is an opening device of the womb?

Why doesn't anyone acknowledge that labor is sexual? 

That the same organs are involved in sex as in birth, the same hormones.

That just like to make love, intimacy is required. 

The sweat, moans, gasps, blank eyes, hips on the move... 

How has birth / sex become so rigid and controlled? 

Orgasm requires putting your brain at rest and lowering into your body. 

Birth happens in the same way. 

Many women live faking orgasms to fit a patriarchal model. But the thing is, you can't fake labor. 

Oxytocin is the main hormone responsible for uterine contractions, and it is very sensitive; it needs peace of mind, dim light, and confidence. 

No matter how close you are to birthing your baby, if someone breaks into the room without warning, or turns on strong lights, or tells you something very technical, the natural flow is cut off. The process involves stimulation of the neocortex, generating adrenaline, and inhibiting the natural birth process. 

They call it failure to progress in labor. 

I don't think this is a failure -- no one fails to give birth. 

It's more like centuries of sexual repression, linked to poor information, based on fear, that causes all these unnecessary interventions and suffering in birth. 

"In short, birth is a sexual act that would be performed with the ultimate gratification of pleasure for human creatures, if the sexuality of the woman that stops it were not destroyed." -Wilhelm Reich 

"...the work of labor can be a succession of truly good contractions, because they are pleasure generators." -Frédérick Leboyer 

"Even the divine curse 'you will give birth in pain' implies that it wasn't always so." -Casilda Rodrigañez 


-originally published in Spanish, author unknown 
translation by Danelle Day 





*******



To My Child's Teacher


To my child's teacher,

If you need my kid to sit on the floor while you figure out numbers, and flexible seating and seating plans - that’s ok.

If my kid has to wear one pair of shoes to school all day - that’s cool - I do the same thing all day long, they can too while you figure out how to manage high traffic areas and teach the kids the importance of social distancing - Groovy!

If you need me to supply you with a bottle of wine, or vodka, or coolers every Friday so you can go home and destress and cry about your highly emotional and stressful week - I got you... name your poison.

If you need me to search high and low for every available container for Lysol wipes so you can spend your unassigned time after school wiping down every surface in your classroom - Done! I will keep my eyes peeled!

If my kid has to wear a mask so he can sit with you and read a story - which is his favorite activity on the planet, or sit beside a friend and work in their journal or on an art project - no worries! I will make sure they understand the rules for mask wearing at school.

What I won’t do:

1 - Berate you on social media

2 - Undermine you and your profession at every turn

3 - Buy into the hysteric and irrational things I read online that have not been fact checked

4 - Fear monger others

Why?

Because I know that, at the end of the day, you don’t have any control over the decisions that are made by higher ups, and you are just doing your job.

I know that you are a mother too, and you will treat my child as your own.

I know you are killing yourself putting in a ridiculous amount of hours on your own time to make your classroom a safe and welcoming place.

And I know in your heart of hearts you are doing everything in your power to make my child feel loved and successful in the school year.

You have been tasked with a seemingly insurmountable task of keeping kids safe and happy and engaged during a GLOBAL PANDEMIC - and regardless of how I personally feel about COVID and masks and shoes and seating plans and all the craziness this new school year will bring... know I have your back!

I got you, and all my teacher friends and support staff - you are valued and you are worthy... and I see you!

💜 author unknown 




2020 School Year: A New and Different Look



Teachers, parents, family, and friends: 

Tomorrow is the first day of academically doing things differently than we're accustomed to. 

Inevitably, something may go wrong. If and when it does, please stay positive, and be patient as we work out the kinks. 

Most importantly be kind. 

Your kiddos can hear you, and will also carry that same vibe throughout their day. 

So encourage them, cheer them on, and applaud them for rocking a new and different "look" this year!

~Mrs. Ivy 




Why I Cry

Artwork by @spiritysol

I couldn’t reach the toy. ⠀

I reached out my hands but they couldn’t make it,⠀ ⠀

I don’t know how to crawl just yet.

So I looked around for you and cried, and there you came.⠀

I heard your voice say “You want that toy” as you moved it back to me, and I rested in the truth that you come when I call.⠀

Mama, ⠀

I know you get tired of my cries. It feels like cry for everything right now.⠀

I don’t know how to say “I need the toy” or most importantly “I need you” so I cry instead.⠀

Mama,⠀

It’s not a reflection of how I feel about you.⠀

I love you, that’s why I cry for you.⠀

I need you, that’s why I cry for you.⠀

I know you can’t always get to me right away, that’s ok.⠀

I love hearing your voice saying “I hear you, I’ll be there soon” as I wait for you.⠀

Mama, ⠀

I can’t wait for the day I can tell you how I feel.⠀

How in your arms I feel safe.⠀

How you are my fortress, my rock.⠀

How I find comfort in your voice, your body, and your presence.⠀

But right now I can’t,⠀

So when I need you I cry.⠀

Mama, ⠀

I see your tears too.⠀

I know it can be hard.⠀

In my short life we’ve already been through so much together, and I know we will get through this too.⠀

I know you don’t always feel like you are doing good, but mama you are more than just good, you are mine. ⠀

Mama,⠀

I love you.⠀

So tonight if I cry, know I don’t expect you to get it right, right away.⠀

I know you are trying to learn me, just as I’m trying to learn this world around me.⠀

Mama, we will get through this.⠀

One day at a time,⠀

One minute at a time,⠀

One cry at a time.⠀


By @ourmamavillage

💕



Baby's Breastfeeding Pattern

Newborn breastfeeding pattern

In the hospital we encourage moms to breastfeed every 2-3 hours to nourish baby and bring in a good future milk supply.
It’s math: 8-12 feeds in 24 hours (ideal) = nursing every 2-3 hours 📚📈

It’s a quick and easy way to get the message across that this baby needs to eat, and often
Unfortunately, new parents seem think breastfeeding is going to be like the first picture (cereal)...all the feeds perfectly spaced out, and all the same size. Every 2-3 hours. Easy. And the baby will sleep like an angel in between....
THIS IS NOT REALITY. In reality, your sweet newborn baby will have good feeds, short feeds, sleepy feeds, crappy feeds, and everything in between! 
The visual of the blueberries is amazing because it shows how realistically feedings are at all different times and different lengths (bigger blueberries). And did you count the berries?!? More than enough! 
Yes, we want you to nurse every 2-3 hours, but baby calls the shots. Less watching the clock   and more watching for feeding cues. 👶🏻 

Related Reading:

• Knowing my baby's hunger cues: http://www.DrMomma.org/2013/01/your-babys-signs-of-hunger.html

• The Case for Cue Feeding: http://www.DrMomma.org/2010/01/case-for-cue-feeding.html

• Why African Babies Don't Cry: http://www.DrMomma.org/2010/09/why-african-babies-dont-cry.html 

• Breastfeeding community: FB.com/groups/Breastfed



Newborn stomach size
Breastfeeding on cue awareness raising cards at Etsy

How to Care for Your Intact Son



The number one reason for problems of the penis is unnecessary infant circumcision (and the consequences of this surgical removal of the prepuce organ). The second reason for penile problems and complications is well-meaning adults who retract, over-clean, and 'mess with' intact boys' foreskins before they retract naturally and completely on their own. Sometimes this natural, gentle retraction does not occur until the pre-teen years. This is 100% normal. In fact, a recent Dutch study shows that the average age for retraction among boys is 10.6 years of age. Some retract (on their own) before this time, some later.

Among both boys and girls, before natural retraction, the prepuce (foreskin/hood) is tightly adhered to the glans (head) of the penis/clitoris, in the same way your fingernail is tightly adhered to your finger. If you stick things under your fingernail, try to pull it back, or otherwise 'mess' with it, you are bound to not only be in pain, but also fester irritation and/or infection. The same is true with the prepuce organ (the clitoral hood in girls and the foreskin in boys).

In addition, the prepuce serves the function of protection over the glans in much the same way your eye lids protect your eye balls. The temperature, moisture, pH balance, enzyme level, antivirals, and more are all regulated because the glans is meant to be an internal organ - just as our eyeballs are also internal organs. We'd never scrub under our eyelids and not expect some severe and painful (possibly infectious) consequences.

Remember: INTACT=DON'T RETRACT! ONLY CLEAN WHAT IS SEEN!

One friend, a pediatrician, tells parents, "The ONLY thing you need to care for your intact son's penis is a ruler -- to slap the hand of anyone who attempts to touch his foreskin."

Below are additional resources for parents of intact boys. Know the myths, and be informed enough to protect your son and his genital integrity.

If you're a pro-intact physician, PA or midwife willing to field an occasional question,
write to SavingSons@gmail.com to join the MedPro advisory board. 

RETRACTION

Should My Baby's Foreskin Be Retracted? Dr. Antier Responds
DrMomma.org/2012/08/should-babys-foreskin-be-retracted.html

Hands Off My Foreskin! Dr. Martin Winckler on the Care of Baby Boys
DrMomma.org/2013/02/hands-off-my-foreskin-dr-martin.html

Forced Retraction: Don't Let it Happen to Your Son
DrMomma.org/2010/11/forced-retraction-dont-let-it-happen-to.html

Forced Retraction: Now What?
DrMomma.org/2009/12/forced-retraction-what-now.html

Don't Retract Clinician Pack (for physicians and medical staff; includes links to the AAP, RCH and CPS organization care statements):
SavingSons.org/2015/07/retracting-clinician-information-pack.html

Using a Catheter Without Retraction: My Nurse Did It and So Can Yours!
SavingSons.org/2013/01/using-catheter-without-retraction-my.html

Only Clean What is Seen: Reversing the Epidemic of Forced Retraction:
DrMomma.org/2009/09/only-clean-what-is-seen-reversing.html

Medical Testing: Do Not Retract:
DrMomma.org/2009/09/uti-testing-on-boys-do-not-retract.html

Doctors Opposing Circumcision Statement for Physicians and Nurses on
Forced Retraction:
Doctorsopposingcircumcision.org/info/info-forcedretraction.html

Forced Retraction: Ask the Experts
DrMomma.org/2009/09/ask-experts-forced-foreskin-retraction.html

The Forced Retraction of My Son [One Parent's Story]
DrMomma.org/2011/07/forced-retraction-of-my-son.html

Medical Organization Statements on Intact Care (and Physician 'Do Not Retract' Packs):
SavingSons.org/2015/07/retracting-clinician-information-pack.html

Hospital Intact Care Packs ($3):
https://www.etsy.com/listing/526265909/hospital-stay-packet?ref=shop_home_active_4

Baby Bands (soft and stretchy for the hospital or care providers):
https://www.etsy.com/listing/502616895/do-not-retract-do-not-circumcise-baby?ref=listing-shop-header-3

Intact care stickers and cards available at Etsy.

INTACT CARE

How to Care for Your Intact Son [Homepage]
DrMomma.org/2009/06/how-to-care-for-intact-penis-protect.html

Intact: Healthy, Happy, Whole [Facebook Group]
FB.com/groups/IntactHealthy

Basic Care of the Intact Child:
DrMomma.org/2010/01/basic-care-of-intact-child.html

Protect Your Intact Son: Medical Advice for Parents When Your Doctor Says to Circumcise:
DrMomma.org/2009/08/protect-your-uncircumcised-son-expert.html

The Functions of the Foreskin:
DrMomma.org/2009/09/functions-of-foreskin-purposes-of.html

Natural Foreskin Retraction in Intact Children and Teens
DrMomma.org/2008/04/natural-foreskin-retraction-in-intact.html

Adult Intact Penis Care:
SavingSons.org/2015/09/adult-intact-penis-care.html

Phony Phimosis Diagnosis:
DrMomma.org/2010/01/phony-phimosis-diagnosis.html

Urine Sampling and Catheter Insertion for the Intact Boy
DrMomma.org/2011/12/urine-samples-and-catheter-insertion.html

Using a Catheter without Retraction: My Nurse Did It, Yours Can Too:
SavingSons.org/2013/01/using-catheter-without-retraction-my.html

Deep, dark, red, purple or blue: the normal glans in the intact child:
DrMomma.org/2014/12/deep-dark-red-purple-or-blue-normal.html

UTI (Urinary Tract Infections) Resource Page: SavingSons.org/2014/11/uti-resource-page.html

Yeast, Rash and Redness: Breastmilk Spurs Yeast Overgrowth, Neosporin Alters Microflora; What to Do Instead:
DrMomma.org/2014/04/yeast-rash-and-redness-breastmilk-spurs.html

Swimming, Suits and Mesh: Cut the Lining of Your Child's Suit to Decrease Irritation Potential: DrMomma.org/2014/06/swimming-suits-mesh-cut-lining-of-your.html

Intact Care (and No Retraction) Agreement (Parents to Clinicians): DrMomma.org/2014/10/intact-care-and-no-retraction-agreement.html

Raising Intact Sons:
DrMomma.org/2009/11/raising-intact-sons.html

Foreskin: It's Not 'Icky':
DrMomma.org/2010/12/foreskin-its-not-icky.html

How the Foreskin Protects Against UTI:
DrMomma.org/2009/12/how-foreskin-protects-against-uti.html

Painful Urination During Prepuce Separation
DrMomma.org/2010/01/painful-urination-during-prepuce.html

Ballooning in the Intact Child:

Questions Regarding Normal Separation of the Prepuce:
DrMomma.org/2010/01/common-questions-regarding-normal.html

Hypospadias: Surgery and Circumcision:
DrMomma.org/2010/04/hypospadias-surgery-and-circumcision.html

National Organization of Circumcision Information Resource Centers - care of the intact penis:
http://www.nocirc.org/publish/4pam.pdf

Penile Hygiene for Intact Males (Circumcision Information Resource Pages):
http://www.cirp.org/library/hygiene/

American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) Care of the Intact Child
http://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/bathing-skin-care/pages/Care-for-an-Uncircumcised-Penis.aspx

Medical Organization Statements on Intact Care (and Physician Packs):
SavingSons.org/2015/07/retracting-clinician-information-pack.html

Hospital Intact Care Packs ($3):
https://www.etsy.com/listing/526265909/hospital-stay-packet?ref=shop_home_active_4

Baby Bands (soft and stretchy for the hospital or care providers):
https://www.etsy.com/listing/502616895/do-not-retract-do-not-circumcise-baby?ref=listing-shop-header-3

Expecting a Boy? Stickers and Postcards to share at Etsy.

CIRCUMCISION CARE

Cloth Diapering Your Baby After Circumcision: DrMomma.org/2016/04/cloth-diapering-your-baby-after.html

Circumcision Care (National Organization of Circumcision Information Resource Centers): http://www.nocirc.org/publish/pamphlet5.html

Note regarding the recommendation of 6 months jelly for post-circumcision care:

In summary, this RCT demonstrated that an easy, safe, cheap, widely available intervention (petroleum jelly) reduces some of early and late complications of circumcision. It is prudent to apply the petroleum jelly on glans and meatal area of circumcised boys after each diaper change for 6 months post-circumcision.

Bazmamoun, H., Ghorbanpour, M., and Mousavi-Bahar, S. H. (2008). Lubrication of circumcision site for prevention of meatal stenosis in children younger than 2 years old. Urology journal, 5(4), 233-236.

Full Text: http://urologyjournal.org/index.php/uj/article/viewFile/30/29

Similar articles:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3830142/

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9539919

Intact Info Cards in English or Spanish available at Etsy.



Bands available at Etsy


Foreskin Facts





Stickers arrive with baby bands or hospital packs.

Diaper Rash or Red Foreskin Care
The perfect bath for healing and soothing

Hospital packs come with a variety of intact care materials, as well as a pediatric organization statement on care sheet to share with your doctor.

For discussions with fellow parents raising intact sons, you are welcome to join any or all of these groups: 

The INTACT Network: Facebook.com/groups/TINFamily

Saving Our Sons: Facebook.com/groups/SavingOurSons
Peaceful Parenting: Facebook.com/groups/ExplorePeacefulParenting
It's A Boy! Facebook.com/groups/OhJoyItsABoy


What if your son is retracting his own foreskin? Boys will tug and play - and it's okay! The foreskin will begin its natural separation process during this early exploration time for most boys. This is normal. Make hand washing fun! If irritation occurs, apply Calmoseptine to the outside of the penis to soothe. No retraction, unless by a boy himself. Further information also at: IntactHealth.orgSavingSons.org
Intact men in America have historically been cared for improperly. It is not the fact that they have foreskin that is sending them into urology offices. It is the fact that their foreskin had been torn away from the glans as infants, causing scar tissue that led to an injury, preventing the foreskin from functioning normally. As long as we are not damaging babies by retracting and tearing the foreskin, this will not be an issue. -Jennifer D'Jamoos, CCCE, Founder, IntactNetwork.orgMedical Professionals for Genital Autonomy


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