Pleasure in Birth

Why doesn't anyone tell pregnant women that pleasure will make labor easier?  

That orgasm is an opening device of the womb?

Why doesn't anyone acknowledge that labor is sexual? 

That the same organs are involved in sex as in birth, the same hormones.

That just like to make love, intimacy is required. 

The sweat, moans, gasps, blank eyes, hips on the move... 

How has birth / sex become so rigid and controlled? 

Orgasm requires putting your brain at rest and lowering into your body. 

Birth happens in the same way. 

Many women live faking orgasms to fit a patriarchal model. But the thing is, you can't fake labor. 

Oxytocin is the main hormone responsible for uterine contractions, and it is very sensitive; it needs peace of mind, dim light, and confidence. 

No matter how close you are to birthing your baby, if someone breaks into the room without warning, or turns on strong lights, or tells you something very technical, the natural flow is cut off. The process involves stimulation of the neocortex, generating adrenaline, and inhibiting the natural birth process. 

They call it failure to progress in labor. 

I don't think this is a failure -- no one fails to give birth. 

It's more like centuries of sexual repression, linked to poor information, based on fear, that causes all these unnecessary interventions and suffering in birth. 

"In short, birth is a sexual act that would be performed with the ultimate gratification of pleasure for human creatures, if the sexuality of the woman that stops it were not destroyed." -Wilhelm Reich 

"...the work of labor can be a succession of truly good contractions, because they are pleasure generators." -Frédérick Leboyer 

"Even the divine curse 'you will give birth in pain' implies that it wasn't always so." -Casilda Rodrigañez 

-originally published in Spanish, author unknown 
translation by Danelle Day 


To My Child's Teacher

To my child's teacher,

If you need my kid to sit on the floor while you figure out numbers, and flexible seating and seating plans - that’s ok.

If my kid has to wear one pair of shoes to school all day - that’s cool - I do the same thing all day long, they can too while you figure out how to manage high traffic areas and teach the kids the importance of social distancing - Groovy!

If you need me to supply you with a bottle of wine, or vodka, or coolers every Friday so you can go home and destress and cry about your highly emotional and stressful week - I got you... name your poison.

If you need me to search high and low for every available container for Lysol wipes so you can spend your unassigned time after school wiping down every surface in your classroom - Done! I will keep my eyes peeled!

If my kid has to wear a mask so he can sit with you and read a story - which is his favorite activity on the planet, or sit beside a friend and work in their journal or on an art project - no worries! I will make sure they understand the rules for mask wearing at school.

What I won’t do:

1 - Berate you on social media

2 - Undermine you and your profession at every turn

3 - Buy into the hysteric and irrational things I read online that have not been fact checked

4 - Fear monger others


Because I know that, at the end of the day, you don’t have any control over the decisions that are made by higher ups, and you are just doing your job.

I know that you are a mother too, and you will treat my child as your own.

I know you are killing yourself putting in a ridiculous amount of hours on your own time to make your classroom a safe and welcoming place.

And I know in your heart of hearts you are doing everything in your power to make my child feel loved and successful in the school year.

You have been tasked with a seemingly insurmountable task of keeping kids safe and happy and engaged during a GLOBAL PANDEMIC - and regardless of how I personally feel about COVID and masks and shoes and seating plans and all the craziness this new school year will bring... know I have your back!

I got you, and all my teacher friends and support staff - you are valued and you are worthy... and I see you!

💜 author unknown 

2020 School Year: A New and Different Look

Teachers, parents, family, and friends: 

Tomorrow is the first day of academically doing things differently than we're accustomed to. 

Inevitably, something may go wrong. If and when it does, please stay positive, and be patient as we work out the kinks. 

Most importantly be kind. 

Your kiddos can hear you, and will also carry that same vibe throughout their day. 

So encourage them, cheer them on, and applaud them for rocking a new and different "look" this year!

~Mrs. Ivy 

The Vulva - A Professional Guide for Girls

Shannon O'Boyle writes:

Here it is. The V word. The G word.

Moms, Teach your girls that they are normal before some adolescent boy who learned from men who learned from porn + few real experiences tell her she is not.

I’m talking to YOU, Midwestern Mom.

I’m talking to YOU, Southern Bell.

I grew up here. Catholic. I know what we know, and it is rarely actual real and valuable information about OUR bodies that are OURS.

Yeah. Your parts are sacred. So, no one taught you to look at them. Look! YOU are your best advocate for health. Teach your partner what normal is. Teach your girls what normal is. LEARN WHAT NORMAL IS WHICH IS PROBABLY ALMOST ANYTHING THAT ISN’T PAINFUL. 

Guys, read this info so you’re not an idiot about it. Jokes on you if you learned about female body parts from porn and magazines... that sh*t is edited for one standard look.

Girls getting genital plastic surgery... Women telling me they need it after one baby... I’m done. You are whole and beautiful, and fortunately (!) of your own beautifully designed, unique mold. Know it.

This Online Vulva Guide Can Help Your Daughter Love Her Genitals:
By Rachel Moss | Read more from Moss at:

In a world where girls as young as nine are seeking surgery to alter the appearance of their genitals, parents may be at a loss as to how to reassure their daughters their vulvas are “normal.”

But now, doctors have created an online booklet you can direct young women to so they learn “vulvas come in a variety of shapes and sizes” and every woman’s “normal” is different.

The booklet, created in partnership with with Brook, a young people’s sexual health and wellbeing charity, features a series of illustrations that detail the changes that happen to a woman’s body during puberty and beyond.

Commenting on the launch, Laura West, participation and volunteering manager at Brook, said: “All young people deserve education, support and advice about anatomy, but unfortunately there is a lack of accurate and sensitive information available as part of the school curriculum and on the internet. This new booklet will help to address this need and will inform doctors, girls, young women and their families, as to what is normal and where to seek further help and support if required.”

The resource was commissioned by The British Association of Paediatric and Adolescent Gynaecology (BritsPAG), a specialist society of the Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists.

According to NHS figures, in 2015-16 more than 200 girls under 18 had labiaplasty and more than 150 of the girls were under 15. These numbers do not include girls and young women having the procedure privately. BritsPAG say these operations do not have a medical justification.

Female genital cosmetic surgery refers to surgical cosmetic procedures that change the structure and appearance of the healthy external genitalia of women. It includes the most common procedure, labiaplasty, which is sometimes referred to as “designer vagina” surgery and involves the lips by the vaginal opening being shortened or reshaped.

As well as including illustrations of vulvas, the booklet, titled ‘So what is a vulva anyway?’ includes information to clear up the names of body parts for young women who may be confused.

“People call vulva lots of different names: fanny, minge, foof, flower,” it says. “Some people say vagina when they are actually talking about their vulva which is fine, but it’s a really good idea to know the proper names to avoid confusion.”

Dr Naomi Crouch, consultant gynaecologist and chair of BritSPAG, told HuffPost UK as well as being useful for teens directly, the new booklet can help parents when talking to young people about normal vulva appearance.

“It provides accurate and sensitive information about the vulva, how it is unique and it is entirely normal and healthy to change throughout life,” she said.

“Parents can play an important role in ensuring young people have access to accurate information and offer reassurance and emotional support to those who may feel concerned or distressed about how they look or feel.”

The team behind the booklet conducted discussion groups with young women in order to gauge their current level of understanding and whether they felt as though this resource would be useful.

These young women felt there is a lack of understanding about the vulva and that they are not taught enough in school. They said they are likely to conduct their own research online.

The booklet provides girls with a reliable resource to counteract the fact they are presented with so many images of vulvas that are digitally manipulated.

“It’s difficult to know what a ‘normal vulva’ is. You don’t really get to see other peoples so it’s difficult to appreciate that labia come in different shapes and sizes,” the booklet says.

“If you have seen any porn you might have seen vulvas looking a particular way (often with no hair and with very tiny labia - so you can’t see them). Lots of images are photoshopped to look like this - as are boobs, legs and various other body parts. This creates a false image of what is considered normal or desirable.”

The resource also aims to tell young women - and their parents - that if a young person does have concerns about their body, a positive thing to do is to reach out and speak to a healthcare professional, such as a GP.

The booklet will be available on the BritsPAG website as a download for clinicians, including GPs, practice nurses and sexual health staff to be able to give out when meeting young people with genital cosmetic concerns and signpost them to further resources that promote healthy body image.

Louise Williams, clinical nurse specialist at University College Hospital and co-lead of the project, said: “We see many patients in our pediatric and adolescent gynecology clinic who have a poor understanding of the function of parts of the anatomy and also of normal genital variation."

“We hope [this booklet] will reassure young people that vulvas come in a variety of shapes and sizes, and if they need advice and support, they can know where to go”

Dr Naomi Crouch, consultant gynaecologist and spokesperson for the RCOG and chair of BritSpag, added: “There is absolutely no scientific evidence to support the practice of labiaplasty and the risk of harm is significant, particularly for teenagers who are still in stages of development both physically and psychologically.

“We hope this resource will provide information for girls and young women that their vulva is unique and will change throughout their life, and that this is entirely normal and healthy.”

The British Society for Paediatric and Adolescent Gynaecology

A body-positive, gentle parenting community


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