Love Matters!

By Danelle Day © 2018

It is difficult to have an unbroken civilization when we begin breaking children at birth... when we lack compassion, empathy, and *involvement* in loving babies and children (responding readily to their cues and needs), supporting mothering (or gentle/conscious parenting in general). When we raise detached, isolated, anxious, lonely babies/children into detached, isolated, anxious, lonely adults, what do we expect to happen along the way?

Peacefully parenting all little ones (no matter their sex) from the very beginning can powerfully and positively break this destructive cycle that has become ubiquitous in the United States and is overflowing now with its disarray.

A gently parented child who has been loved intensely, and responded to without fail, who has been tuned-into, heard, and shown compassion, by a well-supported parent, from birth onward does not grow to kill.


Pick up your baby. Respond to their cues. Hold them. Wear them. Rock them. Keep them intact. Keep them close. Snuggle down at night safely beside them. Show them that they can trust you, and trust this world around them. Show them what love feels like, so they won’t need to doubt that it exists. This time is short and fleeting, but impacts a *lifetime* to come.

If there are just two books that would do the world good for everyone to read, and put into practice, it would be these:

[and the many reasons that genital cutting at birth, neglect, leaving a baby to cry alone, not responding to cues, and general lack of affection forever hurts a baby, child, and adult]

[how gentle, conscious parenting of babies and children can break cycles of destruction and lead to healthy, happy adults of tomorrow]

Related Reading: 

Where are all the happy babies?

Dr. David Chamberlain on Smiling Babies and Civilization

Babies Know More Than You Think:

Peaceful Parenting: Giving Babies the Best Start in Life

Cosleeping and Biological Imperatives: Why Human Babies Do Not and Should Not Sleep Alone

Primal Love and Mothering

Loveness in the Brokenness

Windows to the Womb: Revealing the Conscious Baby from Conception to Birth

Primal Health: Understanding the Critical Period Between Conception and the First Birthday

The Scientification of Love

Peaceful Parenting Group

Gentle Parenting Discussion Groups by Topic

Dr. David Chamberlain on Smiling Babies

Brick Dust - Urine Crystals in Baby's Diaper

By Danelle Day © 2008
Updated 2016

While they can appear alarming to first time parents, urine crystals - sometimes called 'brick dust' 'brick powder' or 'pink diaper syndrome' - are normal and common among newborn babies. These crystals typically appear as a reddish powder in the diapers, and often are mistaken for blood in the urine.

Brick dust can also appear to be orange, pink, brown, yellow, or any variation of these shades, and are especially common among breastfeeding babies receiving the immuno-packed power of colostrum in the early days.

Because newborn babies are only able to digest a very small amount at a time (due to the size of the newborn stomach), urine crystals are thought to form easily during this time from the concentrated colostrum consumed (with little other liquid in the mix until mom's milk comes in). This is normal and healthy for baby, but the low volume of colostrum will not typically produce otherwise common fluid, clear urine.

Once mom's milk has come in, urine should begin to appear clear, and without crystals. They will go away at this time - almost always by the second week of life. If brick dust still appears after your baby is 1 week old, or re-appears later in babyhood, it may mean your little one is dehydrated. To remedy this, increase nursing (if breastfeeding), or increase your baby's formula intake. Do not "water down" formula or add it to pumped milk. This is very dangerous as it throws off the electrolyte balance of baby's blood stream, and young babies have died from this form of "water poisoning." Increase nursing or formula (mixed per the instructions).

By the time your baby is 1 week old, s/he should urinate at least 6 times per day. Knowing how many times your little one pees may be difficult to identify with today's disposable diapers, but in general, you should need to change wet diapers around the clock.

If baby continues to have brick dust even after a baby's intake has increased, it may mean that there is a latch/suck issue. For breastfeeding babies, meeting with a skilled IBCLC who can weigh baby before and after nursing will tell a mother how much her baby is consuming, and whether s/he is getting all that is needed. Formula feeding parents should re-check the instructions to ensure they are feeding accordingly, and on cue around the clock, while contacting their pediatrician.

Two items that may appear as brick dust but are not include a small amount of vaginal bleeding among baby girls. This can occur because of hormone shifts between mother and baby around the time of birth, and is normal. A second thing that is sometimes mistaken for brick dust are small amounts of blood among boys who were cut (circumcised) at birth. The latter occurrence is not normal, and because a newborn baby only needs to lose 1 ounce to hemorrhage, and 2.3 ounces to die as a result of blood loss, if your son is not intact, it is important to pay close attention to his diapers following circumcision surgery.

Newborn Stomach Size
This chart highlights the reasons that babies need to eat so frequently in the first months of life, and also why a very small amount of colostrum is the perfect quantity for a baby in his/her first days of life. Brick dust is a normal occurrence as a result of this frequent consumption of very small amounts in the first 3-5 days of life. 


Konar H. DC Dutta's Textbook of Obstetrics. JP Medical Ltd; 2014 Apr 30.

Lauwers, J. and Swisher, A. Counseling the Nursing Mother: A Lactation Consultant’s Guide, Sixth Edition. 2016.

Lawrence, Ruth A., MD, and Lawrence, Robert M., MD. Breastfeeding: A Guide For The Medical Profession Eighth Edition. Elsevier Health Sciences. 2015.

Nommsen-Rivers LA, Heinig MJ, Cohen RJ, and Dewey KG. Newborn wet and soiled diaper counts and timing of onset of lactation as indicators of breastfeeding inadequacy. Journal of Human Lactation. 2008 Feb;24(1):27-33.

Riordan, J. and Wambach, K. Breastfeeding and Human Lactation Fourth Edition. Jones and Bartlett Learning. 2014.

What is colostrum? How does it benefit my baby? La Leche League International:

Related Reading

Breastfeeding Made Simple: Seven Natural Laws for Nursing Mothers

Intact Care Resources

Your Baby's Signs of Hunger (or thirst)!

Seven Breastfeeding Facts You Should Know

Cloth Diapering After Circumcision

If you nurse your baby...

Breastfeeding Myths

Should I circumcise? The pros and cons

Intact: Healthy, Happy, Whole Group

Saving Our Sons Group

Breastfeeding Group

Peaceful Parenting Group

Newborn babies should be nursed whenever they show first signs of hunger (or thirst), such as increased alertness or activity, mouthing, fist sucking, or rooting. Crying is a late indicator of extreme hunger. Babies should be nursed on cue, or approximately 8 to 12 times every 24 hours until full. This same feeding-on-cue guideline applies to formula fed babies. 

The best teachers...

The best teachers have teeth marks on their tongues.
-Alfie Kohn

Don't sweat the small stuff. Alfie Kohn is the author of these helpful books, among others:

Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason: 

Beyond Discipline: From Compliance to Community: 

Punished by Rewards: The Trouble with Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A's, Praise, and Other Bribes: 

The Myth of the Spoiled Child: Coddled Kids, Helicopter Parents, and Other Phony Crises: 

The Homework Myth: Why Our Kids Get Too Much of a Bad Thing: 

BabySaving Moms!

Are you a BabySaving Mom? Have a special BabySaver in your life? We're honoring and celebrating all the BABYSAVING MOMS this week with a tip of the hat - we see you! We see the fruit of your work! We see the powerful, positive tidal wave of change that comes forth from the #i2 ripples you start. THANK YOU for being a part of Saving Our Sons ~ for speaking up with compassion, and saving babies

To be added, drop a photo to Saving Our Sons on Facebook, email or post/tag at SOS.

You are a HERO in this work! 

* Happy Mother's Day! * 

We will draw three moms via from among submissions to win a $10 gift card good toward any SOS educational and awareness raising materials at Etsy.

2018 BabySaving Moms

❤ Anu

❤ Elana

❤ Missy

❤ Michelle

❤ Brittany

❤ Amanda

❤ Brandi

❤ Kristi

❤ Danelle

❤ Rachael

New to this topic? Learn more about the functions of the foreskin (an organ all mammals on earth are born having), and the benefits of keeping all babies intact: Should I Circumcise? The Pros and Cons


MamAmor Birthing, Breastfeeding, Babywearing Dolls on Ellen!

The fantastic MamAmor birthing, breastfeeding, babywearing dolls will be on Ellen DeGeneres' show May 10, 2018, for a special Mother's Day episode! 💜 We're excited for this exposure for Adriana's beautiful creations, as they spark joy in every family's home who brings one in.

Ellen Show details:

Peaceful Parenting families shopping for a MamAmor doll of your own get an amazing discount (90CAD / 70USD off plus free shipping!) with code: PEACEFULPARENTING at check-out. You can personalize your own doll (choose her hair, eyes, skin, outfit, whether she is a breastfeeding, babywearing, birthing, VBAC mom, etc.). 😊 Details:

MamAmor Dolls have been normalizing birth and breastfeeding since 2007!

When you're touched out... choose love

You will never be this loved again.

So on those days when you are feeling stressed out, touched out, and depleted, just remember that you will never be this loved again.

One day you will long for their affection. So choose a soft voice, choose gentle hands, choose love.

-Ashley Kagan, Play at Home Mom

Peaceful Parenting Group 

The most censored breastfeeding photo on Facebook

One of the most censored photos on Facebook displays a woman nursing her young baby. Titled "Holy Virgin" this photograph was taken by renowned Czech photographer, Sara Saudková, in 2003. This photo, along with many others Saudková shot in more recent years as part of an artistic protest against Facebook's removal of breastfeeding mother's photos, are rarely available for more than a day.

Fat Facts

Many people are convinced that fat is bad for you--in all forms, in every way, period. This is not fully the case, however. Fat does not necessarily make you fat. The fact is, we need fat to survive. This article will explore the good and bad parts of fat.

What is Fat?

The body produces some of the fat you need, which is made up of three molecules joined together, called triglycerides. In addition to these, there is fat that is necessary for a healthy life but cannot be made by the body. These are called essential fats, which are consumed through the food you eat.

Fat does a lot of important things for the body. It helps absorb fat-soluble vitamins. It keeps skin healthy. It cushions organs. It is a concentrated source of energy, lasting longer than carbohydrates. Omega 3 fats keep the heart healthy. Some fats can help lower cholesterol. And fat is responsible for helping us feel full after a meal. Food without fat leaves the consumer unsatisfied and hungry shortly thereafter. This is also because fat is what makes food tasty. How can something so good be so wrong? Let’s explore which types of fats should be present in the diet.

Avocados are known for their healthy fat content.

Good Fat vs. Bad Fat

Fats are not all bad for you. Here are descriptions of the main three fats found in food, and their effect on the body.

  • Unsaturated fats: Typically found in plant foods. There are two main types. Polyunsaturated, found in fish and nuts, also called Omega-3 fats. Monounsaturated found in olive oil, avocados, and almonds, also called Omega-6 fats. A diet that is high in unsaturated fats helps lower cholesterol and the risk for heart disease. 
  • Saturated: Typically found in animal foods and byproducts. Usually solid at room temperature. Examples include cheese, butter, and coconut milk. Manufactured foods high in saturated fat include pastries, pies, potato chips, and pizza. Too much saturated fat is linked to a higher risk of heart disease
  • Trans: Typically found in processed and packaged foods. Trans fats are technically unsaturated fats that have been processed so that they essentially become saturated fats to the body. They are found mostly in packaged foods and some butter and margarines. A healthy diet limits trans fats similarly to saturated fats.

How Much is Too Much?

In the past few decades, fat has been demonized as something that leads to obesity. But there is a difference between having too much fat and having no fat at all. That’s because fat is necessary to live a healthy life.

Fat can be good for you. Plenty of Americans, however, eat a diet that consists of too much of the wrong kinds of fats. Too much saturated and trans fats in the diet has been proven to lead to obesity, high cholesterol, heart disease, and plenty of other health concerns. Additionally, because fat is a concentrated source of caloric energy, fatty foods contain more calories in a smaller amount of food. So, a spoonful of peanut butter has more calories than a piece of toast. But peanut butter will also keep you feeling fuller for longer, so less is more in some cases.

It is recommended that 30% of total calorie intake come from fats. In America, however, it is estimated that we consume at least 40% or more of our daily calories in the form of fats. Flavoring your food with unsaturated fats and cutting down on processed and packaged foods can be an effective way of consuming the right kind of fats in smaller amounts.

Need to Lose Fat?

If you are obese or overweight, it is likely that you have been consuming too much fat in your diet. Making a drastic shift in your diet can be difficult to do cold turkey, even when you know you need to do it for health reasons. With the help of a dietary supplement like Hydroxyelite, you might experience an easier time shifting your diet and shedding your fat. The key ingredient, Garcinia Cambogia, is a tropical fruit that has been shown to suppress the appetite. When you begin to eat less saturated and trans fats, you may experience a hunger for these types of foods as your body gets used to functioning without relying on them. With an appetite suppressant, you may curb the cravings until it becomes habitual to choose unsaturated fats over the saturated and trans fatty foods.

Fat can be good. There are plenty of ways to make it a positive source of energy in your life. If you struggle with your weight, getting to a healthy amount of fat in your diet could be all you need to start looking and feeling healthier.

Breastfeeding: Anytime, Anywhere

Anytime. Anywhere.
You can stare, I don't care.
I'll feed my hungry child, here or there,
if you don't like my boob, I still don't care.
A Restaurant? A store? It's boob juice galore!
A theater? A museum?
But you're more focused on trying to see them!
Bottle or boob - it's all just food.
You still think I should cover?
You should run and tell your mother.
Pull out your phone and take a picture?
But I'm the one who's the problem?
Don't you wish we could all mind our business?
That would sure solve them!
Think I am disgusting? I could say the same?
Think I am playing an attention-seeking game?
You are wrong, because you see, really I am only worried about the comfort of my baby and me!

-Sincerely Whitney, the badass breastfeeder and her badass son, fueled by purely boob juice.

originally shared on Facebook here

The Breastfeeding Group

"Thank you for nursing in public, and abolishing lactiphobia one well fed baby at a time." -Danelle Day • T-shirts from Made By Momma

Moving Tips for Families with Kids

Moving to a new home is hard enough on its own. When you add kids to the situation, it becomes that much harder. Kids often struggle with goodbyes to their old home, maybe a home they spent their whole life in. It’s also hard to leave friends and family behind. The best way to move with your entire family is to be prepared. Follow these tips to make the transition from one home to the next seamless!

Tip 1: Start with a Conversation

It is tempting for many parents to keep information about the move secretive, at least until closer to the actual moving date. While this might seem like a way to protect your kids, it actually will make the change more stressful. Be proactive by having a conversation with your kids. Talk to them early on about the new situation, and give them a chance to ask any questions about why you’re moving and what moving might mean for them.

Explain to them all the positives of this move. Maybe they’ll have their own room for the first time or they’ll be closer to family! It’s normal for kids to feel confused or sad at this change, so be patient through tears. Keep your children involved in the process so they have more time to adjust to the move. Finally, be clear with your children that all the important things will stay the same. They’ll still have their favorite nightlight, they’ll still be able to call grandma every week, and you’ll be with them every step of the way.

Tip 2: Pack with Kids

Your children will likely be stressed by the prospect of packing all their belongings before a move. The best way to help ease them through this process is to include them in your packing efforts. Older children might be prepared to decide what they keep and what to donate. To avoid even more stress on moving day, search for a reputable moving company. A company like Platinum Furniture Removals will take care of the heavy lifting so you can focus on your family during the move.

Tip 3: Build Excitement with Kids

Sometimes the best way to get your kids onboard with a new move is to distract them with excitement to come! While kids might still be sad to leave their school or old friend behind, they can still get excited about any new things you can share about the move. Research your new neighborhood together and find a list of new activities to do together. Maybe your new house will have a pool or your new city has a great children’s museum. These little things might be just what your kid needs to look forward to a new home!

Tip 4: Keep to Schedule

Your kids probably have a routine they associate with your old home. They get home from school at 3, they eat diner at 6, and they get ready for bed by 8. No matter the routine, try to stick with it. Provide as much structure and community as possible. Surround your child with the same familiar things from the old home, like the same bedding, similar toys, and bedtime stories. These little things might make the difference in a restful night and a late-night tantrum. If your children are used to talking to grandparents or other family members, try to keep these ties going through phone calls or video chats. Soon, the new schedule will feel normal!

Move Your Family with Confidence

Moving is just as stressful for you as it is for your kids! Remember, younger kids might not fully understand your move, and it can be hard on them to separate from everything they came to learn as normal. Leave room for angst and sadness in your move and lead by example. Show your kids that even though you’re sad you left your own home, you’re so excited for this new adventure! You’ll be all settled in no time!


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