Love note for a second baby

By Danelle Frisbie © 2014


Love note for a second baby


To my second little one on the way...

If I am to admit my fear, it is that I need to love you deeply, intensely -- with a love as BIG as I love your sibling -- but I am scared that I could not possibly love this greatly again.

I am told that this will undoubtedly happen. That a mother's love doubles the instant her second baby is in her arms. Yet I wrestle with doubt that this could not happen...

How could I love two more than life itself?

How could my heart - already full and overflowing - pour over another sweet child just the same?

The day I became Mom for the first time all the universe stood still. Before that moment there was no possibility of understanding this kind of love, this kind of attachment, this kind of soul-quenching power.

I would do anything, give anything, go anywhere, for my new baby.

The long nights of nursing, teething, rocking, snuggling...
The leaking, wearing, walking, singing, sleepy days that blend together...

It solidifies the rock upon which Mom and Baby are One.

How can this MotherBaby existence open up to add a third?

But I am told that it will happen. That there is something mystifyingly profound about the way that a mother's love works. Like the ocean waves that wash us over - and again, and again - each one as drenching as the one before, a momma's love for her littles is never less from one to the next.

So I trust.

I trust that what you and I have built already for these many months between us will only become insurmountable when we finally embrace.

I will breathe in your fresh goodness. I will touch your tiny, tender hands. I will scoop you up and never want to let you go.

We will nurse and snuggle and sing. We will rock and wrap and play. We will fall deeper in love each passing night, each new sunrise.

You have all of me, my sweet second baby. Every beat. Every breath. Every thought. Every step. And this does not take away from any other, in any way, because it is a mother's love. ❤

-Danelle Frisbie © 2014


❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

As a lioness with her cub, I will protect you fiercely, my little one. ❤


18 Day Old Baby Dies From Cold Sore Virus (Oral Herpes)



18 Day Old Baby Mariana Dies From Complications of Cold Sore Virus.

We again urge reading parents to not let people kiss your babies on the mouth (or on the eyes or nose) as oral herpes is highly contagious, and catastrophic for young babies who contract the virus.

See this previous article detailing more about sweet Mariana's story, and why kissing babies on the lips is so risky, unless you have been tested and know that you are negative for this virus. The World Health Organization reports that 67% of the population (2 out of every 3 people) have oral herpes (HSV-1) whether they know that they do or not. Even without an open cold sore, herpes can be transferred from a well meaning adult to your baby through a kiss on the mouth (or eyes or nose).

One excellent way to avoid unwanted affection that puts your baby at risk is to select a wrap or carrier before your baby's birth, and wear your baby. This keeps baby close to his/her parents, in a newborn's natural habitat (mom's chest, or near dad's beating heart), allows a baby to be soothed, nursed on cue, held up at eye level for regular interaction, and keeps others' hands and mouths away from your little one.


Local news excerpt:

A West Des Moines infant has passed away 10 days after being hospitalized after coming in contact with someone with a cold sore.

“Our princess Mariana Reese Sifrit gained her angel wings at 8:41 am this morning in her daddy’s arms and her mommy right beside her,” Nicole Sifrit posted on her Facebook page Tuesday morning, “in her 18 days of life she made a huge impact on the world and we hope with Mariana’s Story we save numerous newborns' lives.”

Mariana was born a health baby girl on July 1st. Six days later her parents left their wedding early to take her to Blank Children’s Hospital when she stopped eating and couldn’t wake up. Doctors told Nicole and her husband, Shane, that Mariana had contracted Meningitis HSV-1. It’s likely someone with a cold sore kissed or handled Mariana, spreading the virus that is incredibly common for adults to have.

“I always thought this stuff happens and it’s a shame, and never thought it would happen to me,” Nicole told us last week, “I was not prepared at all. Keep your babies isolated. Don’t let just anyone come visit them. Make sure they are constantly washing their hands. Don’t let people kiss your baby and make sure they ask before they pick up your baby.”

Nicole with Baby Mariana shortly after her birth

Related Reading:

Week old baby on life support with herpes virus (cold sore kiss)

Cold sore prevention and treatment for kids

CNN Report on Baby Mariana




Week old baby on life support with herpes virus (cold sore kiss)



The number one way that babies contact oral herpes is by people kissing them on the mouth. The majority of adults living in North America have oral herpes ('cold sores'), and live with only occasional discomfort. What most people don't realize is that this same virus can be devastating, and even deadly, to babies, and it is transferred from well meaning adults to babies with a kiss.

Protect your little one by not allowing other people to kiss your baby or young child on the mouth (or by the eyes - which can also contract the herpes virus). Kissing on the forehead, top of the head, giving hugs, etc., are all safe forms of affection. If a parent knows that you get an occasional cold sore, the safest thing to do is lavish your little one with love, hugs, and kisses -- but not on the mouth.


Week old baby on life support with herpes virus: http://whotv.com/2017/07/13/week-old-baby-on-life-support-with-cold-sore-virus/

Excerpt from article:

It should have been the best week of their lives as Nicole and Shane Sifrit from West Des Moines gave birth to a baby girl named Mariana July 1st and married July 7th. "The birth of our baby was great. It is one of the best feelings in the world when you can bring a child into the world," said Shane.

Just two hours after they exchanged I do's they noticed something terribly wrong with their week old baby girl. Nicole said, "Friday we noticed she stopped eating and wasn't waking up when we were trying to get her to respond."

Leaving their own wedding early to go to Blank Children's Hospital in Des Moines they learned Mariana had a life threatening virus called Meningitis HSV1 carried by someone with the cold sore virus but not necessarily with an open sore. "They touch her and then she touches her mouth with her hand," explained Nicole.

Mariana's parents tested negative for the virus and she was sent to the NICU. Shane said, "It immediately went downhill from there. Within two hours she had quit breathing and all of her organs just started to fail"

Monday Mariana was life-flighted to Iowa City to the University of Iowa Hospital. "Just constantly watching every vital sign and she is currently on life support to help her by right now," said Nicole.


In dire circumstances Mariana isn't giving up. Nicole said, "She has a kidney team, a liver team, a blood team, a neurology team."

A horrific turn of events that the Sifrit family hopes can save others. Shane said, "I always thought this stuff happens and it's a shame and never thought it would happen to me. I was not prepared at all." Nicole added, "Keep your babies isolated. Don't let just anyone come visit them. Make sure they are constantly washing their hands. Don't let people kiss your baby and make sure they ask before they pick up your baby."

Now they hope to prepare for Mariana's fight to become victorious. "It's astounding how strong she is and how much she's fighting for just a little baby and that has to be God," said Shane. "I have to stay strong for her because she is still staying strong," added Nicole.

The Sifrits say the best case scenario would be that Mariana is in the hospital another month before she's in the clear. They say if she can survive, the damage done by the virus will cause long-term health issues.


Watch the Sifrits' news brief, and read more of sweet Mariana's story: http://whotv.com/2017/07/13/week-old-baby-on-life-support-with-cold-sore-virus/

Cold sore prevention and treatment for kids: DrMomma.org/2012/02/cold-sore-prevention-and-treatment-for.html

Update: Baby Mariana loses her fight at 18 days old; dies from cold sore virus. Parents are urged to not let others kiss your baby on the face: DrMomma.org/2017/07/18-day-old-baby-dies-from-cold-sore.html


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Peaceful Parenting Lost Accounts


Peaceful Parenting has recently been the target of online bullying. As a result, our primary Google account, all related email, and some public photos are currently unable to be accessed. If you’ve emailed Peaceful Parenting, recently requested materials from PP, or were a 2017 Genital Integrity Awareness Week supporter, and you’ve not heard back or received items via mail, please forward or resend your email to DrMomma.org{at}gmail.com

This also applies to photographers who have sent photos with permission to use; parents who've written with stories or photos to share; guest authors with materials you're interested in publishing at DrMomma.org, etc.

Thank you for your patience as we work to rebuild, reconnect with everyone, and we are very sorry for this extreme inconvenience.

Note: This also impacts countless photos at DrMomma.org We will be working to replace photos and graphics as quickly as we are able. If you see an article with missing photographs after this week, please email the link to DrMomma.org{at}gmail.com

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Amazon Prime Day!



click to shop

Shopping Amazon during Prime Day 2017?

You can support the Peaceful Parenting and the work we take on in the process!

Click through any link here, and Amazon will give 2% back. This goes toward the many empowering parenting expos and events we host each month, in addition to families who write to Peaceful Parenting to request materials, and intact care physician packs that go out to practitioners across the U.S. and beyond.

Thank you for supporting the educational and grassroots work we pour our hearts into for the sake of making life better for babies and children across the globe.

Prime Day 2017 runs from 9pm ET July 10 for 30 hours to follow.







The Vital Babymoon


What is a babymoon?

Babymoon is a term first used by social anthropologist, and mother/baby advocate, Sheila Kitzinger, in her 1994 book, The Year After Childbirth: Surviving and Enjoying the First Year of Motherhood. It refers to the postpartum bonding period between parents and their new baby, and is especially crucial for a mother and her new little one.

It is at this time, and especially during the first 40 days following birth, that a mom and her baby do best cocooning at home together in their own 'nest' as they establish breastfeeding, sleep and nap together, and fall deeply in love.

During her babymoon, mom learns to read her baby’s cues (preventing unnecessary tears and fears for baby - and for mom), and it is the time that secure attachment begins to develop between a baby and parents because of their tuned-in responsiveness. Infants learn that the world can be trusted, that they are loved, not ignored.

Oxytocin flows freely for a supported mother who is cared for herself, and this feel-good love hormone floods her baby as well when kept close within a newborn’s natural habitat: mom’s chest. 

During the vital babymoon, milk supply is built and regulated, and baby’s respiration, cardiovascular functioning, hormones, and temperature are stabilized by being close to mom. The babymoon is a sacred period, and one that each mother and her baby deserve to fully savor and be supported through. This is one time that we do not wish to disrupt the primal process of mothering.


Related Reading: 

Natural Family Today: The Importance of a Babymoon (article)

BlissTree Babymoon (article)

Her Family: Importance of a Babymoon (article)

Bella: The Importance of a Babymoon (article)

Why African Babies Don't Cry (article)

Why Love Matters (book)

The Continuum Concept (book)

Baby Matters (book)

The Biology of Love (book)

Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering (book)






Your Baby's Signs of Hunger



This poster, created by the Women's and Newborn Services of Royal Brisbane and Women's Hospital, highlights a human baby's hunger cues - her way of communicating to parents that she needs to eat.

As highlighted in the 2010 article, 7 Breastfeeding Fact You Should Know, parents are reminded that stirring, mouth opening, turning a head (to seek a nipple) and rooting are signs that your baby is hungry. Stretching, becoming agitated, and sucking on her fist, fingers or thumb is your baby's way of telling you that she is really hungry. By the time fussing and crying start, your baby is experiencing hunger that is physically painful. It is the type of hunger you experience after your belly has been empty for 14-16 hours. Your baby's belly is very small - this is the reason she gets full so quickly, and then hungry again so soon. Her tiny stomach cannot handle more than this, and does not have any place to 'store' some for later. She is entirely dependent upon you to provide that fill-up according to her cues that she is hungry.

Too often new parents believe they should schedule feedings or wait until their baby cries to nurse. But crying is a late indicator of extreme hunger. Always eating when you are so famished, when your belly hurts and stress hormones from being anxious to eat are at an ultimate high, leads to things like reflux, gas, stomach aches, 'colic,' and general agitation and general withdrawal from the world around - especially if you are brand new and helpless in this world.

Don't wait until your baby is in pain to nurse. Instead, feed at the first cue of hunger, and everyone will be much healthier and happier all around.

For related reading, see the Breastfeeding Resource Page.

Request these informational cards to share with new parents in your area here.

A little tiny tummy wisdom from Baby Wisdom (UK):


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Gentle Pacifier Weaning

By Danelle Frisbie © 2014


A couple years ago a mother shared her technique for gentle pacifier weaning with peaceful parenting and we found it to be one that others have benefited from as well. We do not necessarily advocate for pacifier use from the start -- babies are designed to be comforted in the arms of a loving caregiver, to attach to a human being (not a plastic object) and to suckle at mom's breast for comfort. However, in cases where non-human substitutions are necessary for comfort and soothing, no matter the reasons for this being the case, it is surely best to meet these needs (for suckling and comfort) in babyhood and beyond. Pacifiers were created for this purpose - to meet a need when a care-gjver (usually mom) is otherwise unable to do so. Providing a baby and child with tender care and comfort is always better than denying them of these things to fit into a rigid boxed set of what we 'should' or 'should not' be doing as parents.

For those who do introduce a pacifier in babyhood, the weaning process from this comfort object also need not be traumatic for children. Too often we've heard from those who are now adults who remember how fearful it was for them to have their one item of comfort and security taken away as a youngster. Especially at night, if a child sleeps alone, these hours can be anxiety provoking, and we would never advocate for a 'cold turkey' end to pacifier use for a child who is already accustomed to its presence in their day or night routine (this includes damaging, cutting off the end, or taking away a pacifier). However, this mother's process of pacifier weaning is one that took several months to go through, was begun at a time when her child was old enough to comprehend what was taking place, and one that eliminated any imposed anxieties for her child. It allowed him to naturally finish the weaning process from his comfort item in his own time with gentle encouragement, and empowered him to make small, developmentally appropriate choices along the way. The name of her son has been changed here to honor their privacy.

When young Ben was old enough to understand via conversation with his mother what was happening, she tied his pacifier to a stuffed animal that he could carry with him during the day. This allowed him to use it for comfort as needed, but made it slightly less convenient to walk around with for hours on end at home.

Next, Ben's mom introduced the idea that the pacifier and animal needed to stay in bed. She and Ben made a ritual of tucking the animal (with pacifier) into bed each morning. If Ben wished to use the pacifier during the day, it would be in bed - where his animal needed to stay for animal's comfort and snooze time.

Once Ben became accustomed to returning to bed to use the pacifier as needed, his mom untied the pacifier during the day time hours and put it up on a high shelf in the bedroom, retying to his animal at night. If the pacifier was needed during the day, he would ask for it, and they would snuggle into bed during its use. Day time use became less and less frequent, and eventually faded away altogether.

Each evening Ben's mom continued to tuck him into bed with the animal and asked him, "Do you want your pacifier tonight or would you like to try sleeping without it?" One night the time came when he asked for it, looked at it for a while, and then handed it back to his mom. He then presented her with a question, "If I change my mind, will you get it down for me?" "Yes, of course I will," his mom replied. But he never asked for it again... It lived on his shelf for many months to come - there just in case he needed it, for the security of knowing it was there should the time come. And Ben's weaning from this comfort item was complete - without tears, fears, or the introduction of anxiety. ❤


~~~~

#i2 Wonder Woman

He needs your protection.

 Be his Wonder Woman: Bring your whole baby home.

"I will fight for those who cannot fight for themselves." ~Wonder Woman


To add your #i2 Wonder Woman graphic to this collection, email SavingSons{at}gmail.com or message the Saving Our Sons page on Facebook.


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Private Genetic Testing – What Does It Mean for You?


Private Genetic Testing – What Does It Mean for You?

For many people, the idea of private genetic testing still seems a little foreign. You may not yet fully understand the many benefits genetic testing can bring to the table. Some cases have made highlights and headlines with celebrities going through genetic testing to determine their risks for certain types of cancer. But that is only the beginning of what you can learn about your own health through private genetics testing and counseling.

The Importance of Genetics Counseling with Genetics Testing

Genetics, for all its recent advancements, is still a complex science. It acts as a sort of predictor offering likely outcomes – not necessarily definite outcomes. It determines your genetic predisposition for certain illnesses, conditions, and even physical characteristics. Genetics counseling helps you to understand the odds, the risks, and the things you can do to rewrite your genetic story.

For instance, your counselor may note that you have a genetic predisposition for heart disease based on what’s written in your DNA. That doesn’t mean you will have heart disease. Your counselor can connect you with resources that will help you make lifestyle changes and take medical precautions to mitigate those risks and reduce the likelihood of heart disease for you. Things like dietary changes, daily exercise, and certain medications can make a world of difference and prolong your good health and quality of life.

Breast cancer genetic testing is one of the ones making headlines today as some women are taking strong, preventative action based on the results of these tests. Not every woman needs to have this test, specifically for the BRCA 1 or BRCA 2 mutation. Those who do include women have a family history of this particular mutation, have had breast cancer at age 50 or younger (or are related to someone who has), are related to someone who has had cancer in both breasts, is related to someone who has had ovarian cancer, is of Ashkenazi Jewish decent, or is related to a man who has had breast cancer.

What is Pharmacogenomic Testing?

For people who have had negative reactions to medications in the past, or have experienced limited results from medications, pharmacogenomics might provide a great deal of insight as to how efficiently certain drugs will work. This is especially wise for people who may need to take expensive medications or who are taking medications that have the potential for strong negative side effects. This type of testing can provide predictive responses for more than 200 different medications and make recommendations to optimize medications and treatments in addition to avoiding adverse responses.

When it comes to genetic testing, cost is a factor, but a small one in light of the important benefits these types of tests have to offer. Whether you are interested in pre-pregnancy genetic screening, non-invasive prenatal testing, or other types of private genetic testing, Medcan offers superior testing and outstanding genetic counseling to help you sort through the facts about your test results and the impact they may have on your future.


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