Alanis Morissette’s Babywearin' Daddy



The guys are all over Hollywood these days sportin' their little ones ala wraps and slings. And who doesn't love a babywearin' daddy?! Today, Alanis Morisette's husband, Mario Treadway ("MC Souleye") took his 6 week old son, Ever Imre, out for a stroll in the Moby Wrap.


Ever Imre was born on Christmas Day, and earlier this week Alanis shared a cute family photo with the world:



Additional babywearing dads at the Real Men Wear Babies Gallery.

Amidst Shekinah Glory, Husband Loses Best Friend and Sings His Baby Girl to Heaven

By Danelle Frisbie © 2011

Beautiful Baby Miranda with her Momma's ring on

My hands are trembling as I type this. Knowing there is simply no way to do justice to two beautiful lives we lost this past week. Knowing further still that there is nothing in my power that can be done to ease the pain of loss that one husband and father is having to endure. All I can do is lift him up. Tell a tiny fraction of his story, and hopefully ease a bit of the strain that comes with burying his best friend (his wife) and daughter, and celebrate their lives with him.

This past Saturday, Chad Cole and his wife, Sara, were traveling along I-94 to their uncle's house in Michigan. Sara was 35 weeks pregnant, and they were both overjoyed looking forward to this new baby soon to arrive. Chad and Sara had met in college at Spring Arbor University over 15 years ago, and married in 1996. Chad says they lived a "suitably quiet" life together, filled with evenings cuddling on the couch, watching television, and playing Sudoku. This new baby would be their first child - one they'd tried and waited and prayed for.


When they first found they were expecting, Chad and Sara decided to keep it a secret between the two of them. They planned to break the news to their parents on Grandparents Day, but ended up being too excited to wait that long. Chad's eager new-father spirit broke through into daddy blogging on a site he called, Our Little Secret. He posted a picture of the pregnancy test with two small pink lines showing, and later wrote that this day, June 19th, was the best of 2010. "Two lines...two beautiful...perfect...clearly readable pink lines...that's my best memory of 2010. You've got big shoes to fill 2011...big shoes..."


This past weekend, Chad and Sara did not know yet if they would be blessed with a son or daughter, but a few short weeks would reveal the surprise. Chad said that “Sara was very excited about the arrival of this baby. She was looking forward to being a full-time mom.” Her boss at Brown Floral in Jackson, Michigan, didn't feel exactly the same way. Chris Grostefon said that Sara had such a talent for arranging flowers - especially for weddings - that she didn't want her to leave the shop. Staff were already in the process of putting together an album featuring Sara's work, and Grostefon asked Sara if she'd be a 'wedding consultant' on occasion while she was busy mothering her little one at home. With a love for sewing, the new momma-to-be spent these past several weeks pouring her heart into an assortment of baby-related projects, including sewing new clothes for her upcoming arrival.

Sara's quilt in progress for her baby

As many around the nation are well aware, the Midwest blizzards of Feb 5th came in fierce and ferociously as Chad and Sara were traveling on Saturday. Sara's father was driving the van they rode in, her mother also up front, while Chad and Sara sat in the backseat. It was near white-out conditions and very difficult to see the road or other drivers. With accidents up ahead on the interstate in Sandstone Township, they pulled to a stop near the side of the Dearing Road intersection.

For reasons yet unknown, a semi truck came from behind the location where Chad and Sara and her parents were stopped, and smashed into the back of their van. Upon impact, Sara's uterus ruptured, and while rescue workers tried for an hour to resuscitate her in transit and at the hospital, Chad believes his wife was gone immediately. The next day he wrote, "I lost my best friend of over 15 years yesterday. She was taken from this earth far too early. Knowing that she is resting in Jesus' loving care doesn't begin to address the emptiness and hurt that I feel today."


At 2:17pm, forty five minutes after the crash, Chad and Sara's beautiful new daughter, with a face as sweet as her momma's, was pulled from Sara's body. Chad and Sara had not yet selected a name, but had a list of their favorites. Chad decided on Miranda Evangelene saying, "The name is the only one that came to my mind, and made sense, and made me feel peaceful." Miranda's name means she who must be admired.

Baby Miranda did not have a heartbeat or brain activity when she was pulled from her mom. Doctors worked quickly to resuscitate her fragile body, and got her heart pumping. However, after 45 minutes of being disconnected from her mother-life-source, with the impact of the accident, brain swelling was inevitable in tiny Miranda. Gazing upon his amazing new daughter, Chad wrote, "My heart is broken. Please pray for Miranda. Please pray for a miracle. She's a beautiful little girl, and she's fighting..."


For three days Chad sat by Miranda and soaked up his beloved daughter, holding her hand as she went through a body-cooling treatment to keep her body temperature low and to try to reduce swelling in her brain. From a quiet NICU after shift-changes, Chad wrote, "I cannot express in words how much it meant for me to be able to hold my precious little girl." And in a letter to her he said, "Daddy needs to be honest with you, I'm selfish. I don't want to think that your going to be with mommy and Jesus is an option. I want you right here. I don't want to ask God for a miracle, I want to demand one. I want Him to feel like he owes me this. [...] I love you, more than I could have imagined."

Miracles continued to be prayed for - by thousands. But sometimes there are bigger plans that we only struggle to understand.

Chad abruptly had to let go of his wife, and best friend, Sara, on Saturday. And last night, with his dear baby Miranda on his chest, he sang his sweet little angel to heaven.


Chad would like to thank each of you who prayed with him, and for him, over these last few days:
I cannot begin to express my gratitude for, nor my amazement at, what has happened over the past three days. Never in my life have I felt so surrounded with love. This has been the worst three days of my life, and yet, at the same time, it has been three glorious days, full of shekinah glory.

As I prepared to hold my darling daughter to my chest this evening, I was terrified that I would break...literally break...into pieces. My fears were unjustified. The hand of God so reached down and touched me, that I was able to sing my sweet angel into heaven. That peace stayed with me while I bathed her. It covered me like a deep blanket of snow while I dressed her for the first time. It kept a smile on my face while we took pictures and I was able to introduce her to her extended families without all those wires and tubes sticking out of her. You are all responsible for that peace.

God's miracle to me was giving me strength beyond my own. Endurance that I could never have mustered. Helping me carry my daughter proudly down long, silent corridors as we approached the gathered family and friends who were singing upon our arrival:

All creatures of our God and King
Lift up your voice and with us sing,
Alleluia! Alleluia!
Thou burning sun with golden beam,
Thou silver moon with softer gleam!

O praise Him! O praise Him!
Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!

Thou rushing wind that art so strong
Ye clouds that sail in Heaven along,
O praise Him! Alleluia!
Thou rising moon, in praise rejoice,
Ye lights of evening, find a voice!

Thou flowing water, pure and clear,
Make music for thy Lord to hear,
O praise Him! Alleluia!
Thou fire so masterful and bright,
That givest man both warmth and light.

Dear mother earth, who day by day
Unfoldest blessings on our way,
O praise Him! Alleluia!
The flowers and fruits that in thee grow,
Let them His glory also show.

And all ye men of tender heart,
Forgiving others, take your part,
O sing ye! Alleluia!
Ye who long pain and sorrow bear,
Praise God and on Him cast your care!

And thou most kind and gentle Death,
Waiting to hush our latest breath,
O praise Him! Alleluia!
Thou leadest home the child of God,
And Christ our Lord the way hath trod.

I am blessed, truly blessed this early morning.

I do realize that dark clouds are on the horizon. The hurting will not go away, or end, just because today is done. It's 3:45am, and Stevie, our 10 year old cat, is wandering around the house crying for his "mommy." All he knows is that he hasn't seen her in 3 days and misses her. His simple desire to sit on her lap and enjoy a good scratch brings tears to my eyes. No matter how hard I try, I know that I can't provide for him what he'd grown to love and desire from Sara. He sits on the step to the family room, watching me type, and I can see his questions in his eyes, "Where is she? When will she be home?" He occasionally glances at the back door, as if he expects her to walk in any moment.

This house already feels like a shell, an empty reflection of what it once was. I've had this same feeling every time I looked at myself in a mirror over the past 3 days. I just didn't recognize the man who was looking back. He seemed familiar, but not quite the same as what it felt like he should look like.

The only thing that keeps the dark waters of despair and depression from flooding over me at this time is the levy of Christ's love. A levy woven from the fabric of your prayers. While God may not have given me my heart's desire, He has stopped up the floodwaters. He has thrown me a life jacket that keeps me from drowning in the deep pits and pools that Satan would love to pull me down into.

Thank you, one thousand times - one million times, thank you!

O praise Him! O praise Him!
Alleluia! Alleluia! Alleluia!

The most trying times for Chad, and Sara's family, will likely be weeks and months from now, when all of the intense pressure from this past week has faded, and fewer people come to offer hugs and prayer and love. It is then, in the stillness, that they will need arms, both divine and human, wrapped tightly around them.

During the month of February, all donations made to peaceful parenting will go to help Chad in whatever fashion he deems wise and needed. He says that they will "decide at a later date, and as a family, how to use the memorial. Sara had many things she loved and was passionate about, so the decision(s) will not be easy." You can give a gift here via PayPal, or use the link URL (below) to copy/paste and share in email or online. Checks made to peaceful parenting this month will be donated to Chad and Sara's memorial fund.

Peaceful Parenting
P.O. Box 1302
Virginia Beach, VA 23451



Sara Cole Memorial Fund
c/o Flagstar Bank
2000 Horton Road
Jackson, MI 49203


Celebrations of the Life of Sara and Miranda Cole

Visitation
Spring Arbor Free Methodist Church
120 E. Main
Spring Arbor, MI

Friday, February 11th
2-4 pm
6-8 pm
Saturday, February 12th
10 - 11 am

Service
Spring Arbor Free Methodist Church (Sanctuary)
120 E. Main
Spring Arbor, MI
February 12th
11 am

Chad would like each of you to know,
I have had many people say to me, write to me, say about me, and write about me, what a great "man of God" I am. I'm not sure I can live up to the bar that has been set.

What you've seen in me over the past few days has little to do with being a strong and vibrant Man of Faith. I am a man who feels like all this world held for him has been stripped away, leaving him standing cold and naked, with two choices: cling to the Rock or let go. I have no choice. I must cling to the Rock. All else is misery, selfish humanity, and destructive despair.

Your prayers have been appreciated. They have helped my fingers hold fast. I will be clinging here for some time to come, and want you to know how much your support has meant and how long it will last.

Thank you, friends,
Chad



Further information see:

Our Little Secret (Chad's Blog)

Boston Area Woman Naturally Births Her First 13 Pound Baby

By Danelle Frisbie © 2011

 Photo by Faith Ninivaggi

It's no secret around our humble little office that I am a big fan of chubby babies. Could there be anything cuter than dimpled arms and thigh rolls that go on forever? So squishable. So huggable. So lovable. Starting at 36 weeks pregnant, resident OBs began pressuring me to induce... Knowing that no induction is normal, I held out to let my son come into this world in his own perfect timing (at 44 weeks, 1 day) and he weighed in at 10lbs 3.2oz.

Biased, yes, but I thought he was perfect - and he seemed a bit less 'breakable' too. We were, however, an anomaly of sorts at the hospital that weekend when everyone had to come in to see "one of the biggest babies we've ever had." So I know a little of how Amanda Byron, 21, must have felt this past weekend when she gave birth to her 13lb, 2.6oz son at Holy Family Hospital in Methuen, near Boston, Massachusetts.

After just 4 hours of labor and 10 minutes of pushing, Byron naturally birthed her first baby - Jonathan Patrick Rozzi. Her doctor had 'warned' Byron to expect a big baby (ultrasound estimations can be off by as much as 4 pounds in either direction, but they suggested a 9lb baby). Still, birth was not as tough as Byron thought it would be. She told The Boston Herald, "Everyone's asking me, 'How did you do it?' It wasn't as much pain as I thought it would be. So I just smile and shrug."

Sounds a little like the way birth is supposed to be... blissful. And babies grow to fit their mommas. A perfect plan all around.

Byron continues, "The nurses were all so surprised at his size. I was told the last big baby was 12 pounds, but that was a c-section. The doctor said [Jonathan is] the biggest she’s delivered naturally."

Just as I had no idea that my chunky 10-pounder was a baby to behold, Byron said that when she found her son weighed 13lbs, "I didn't realize how big a deal this was until everyone started taking pictures."

The largest baby I know of in our area (born naturally, at home, in water) was 14lbs. And born to a petite momma, with no complications. Countless other (healthy) homebirths in our city have brought forth 12lb babies. And when you talk with midwives, most will tell you that the average homebirthed baby is heavier than the average hospital-birthed baby. I have a sneaking suspicion this has something to do with the current state of birth in the United States. (1-4)  If we had less unnecessary induction (read: no artificial induction unless the life of mom or baby was at risk) and less elective surgical birth, would we see a slight shift upwards in terms of average baby weight? Six to seven pounds seems terribly small for an average baby. This means there are many who are below that light weight at birth. [The largest baby on record, in case you are curious, was born to a mother in Italy in 1955 and weighed 22lbs, 8 oz.]

Byron's pregnancy was healthy and uneventful. "They don't know why he's so big. I had a normal, well-balanced diet - avoided caffeine and sodas." Neither she nor her fiance, Eric Rozzi, come from families with atypically large babies.

I'm hoping Jonathan was spared any unnecessary pain, pokes, and prodding (not to mention surgical cutting) because when my own "big baby boy" was born I had to almost forcibly stop nursing staff from continuing to heel prick and test his blood. Jonathan, like my son, is deemed to be in perfect health - no sugar anomalies, no metabolic concerns - just a big healthy guy.

“He cried when he came out, but for the most part he’s a quiet baby. Definitely a cuddler! So far he’s eating a normal amount of food, but I got a lot of support from family. I’m looking forward to motherhood!" said Byron.

Welcome to mothering, Amanda! ❤


Notes:

1) Block, Jennifer (2008) Pushed: The Painful Truth About Childbirth and Modern Maternity Care

2) Buckley, Sarah J., M.D. (2008) Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering: A Doctor's Guide to Natural Childbirth and Gentle Early Parenting Choices

3) Odent, Michel, M.D. (2008) Birth and Breastfeeding: Rediscovering the Needs of Women During Pregnancy and Childbirth

3) Wagner, Marsden, M.D., M.S. (2008) Born in the USA: How a Broken Maternity System Must Be Fixed to Put Women and Children First

45 Things to Do with Toddlers During Super Bowl XLV

By Danelle Frisbie © 2011
photo courtesy of Aaryn

One thing we've noticed has a tendency to happen on Super Bowl Sunday around the nation is that toddlers, with all their curious and eager need for involvement, tend to get pushed to the wayside too often. A lot of the time this ends in frustration and "misbehavior." Sometimes it ends in tears. Often, it is a rough day for toddlers while parents are glued to a televised football game. If you're the mom or dad of little ones, and planning for a Super Bowl 45 party, here are some ideas of those things you can do with your toddler during game time and keep everyone happy and involved in the process. These are all activities we've tried ourselves while watching a movie at home with night-owl kids, so they are 'toddler tested' and approved. ツ

photo courtesy of Nick

1. Color! Grab a variety of coloring books (you can often find these second hand, or at the dollar store if you don't want to dish out much $ on them). Or get one GIANT coloring book (we always loved the oversize variety as kids), or even just have a few blank notebooks.

 photo courtesy of Julie

2. Build with Blocks! (Or bristle blocks, "Krinkles," Legos, or any other building item).

3. Have a Muffin Tin Monday Sunday! Take toddler's favorite bit-size finger foods and put a different one in each compartment of a muffin tray. Have a glass of water near by and they will enjoy picking and choosing which items to snack on during game day.

photo courtesy of Nick

4. Blow up your summer pool toys and have a 'beach party' inside - rings, floaties, balls.

photo courtesy of Katie

5. Play farm! Get out the barn, the animals and the fences, and turn your Super Bowl set up into a farmyard.

6. Drive race cars - toss together some ramps with blocks, or place a board from the bookcase onto the floor and zoom zoom zoom...

7. Toss a (soft) football during plays or get out a small broom, a plastic bat, or other item to use to play 'golf' with a variety of balls around the house.

8. Point out the things you see in the commercials and say the name/color/number out loud to practice words - car, horse, dog, star, ball, soap, shampoo, teeth, drink... Tell a story to go along with what you see.

photo courtesy of Kara

9. Read a book or two during each commercial - or during the game if you are watching the Super Bowl for the commercials ;)


10. Get some Bach Rescue Remedy (or other special oil) and give foot massages and hand massages... even belly massages. Toddlers love 'baby massage' too!

photo courtesy of April

11. Wrap/sling the baby baby dolls and 'wear' them around the party

photo courtesy of Erin

12. Breastfeed! (always a toddler favorite)

photo courtesy of Sarah

13. Paint with washable finger paints or paint stampers - grab a couple large empty notebooks ahead of time, line the floor with newspaper or cut open paper bags, and let the kids paint up a storm.

photo courtesy of Milestone Mom

14. Get out the yoga/birthing ball and practice balancing. This is great exercise for a toddlers core strength - have them lay over and hold them while they practice rocking and rolling.

photo courtesy of Amber

15. Make an indoor sand table. Use a hard baby pool or large container, line with a couple inches of sand, have a few toys, small beach shovels, cups, etc., a bit of water for packing, and see what kind of sand designs and castles you can create. Small sifters make great additions to the sand table too!

16. Do jumping jacks - get some of that built up energy out. See how fast you can go. How s-l-o-w you can go. How high. How low.

photo courtesy of Costa Rica Yoga

17. Practice a yoga pose. Spread out your mat and do some balancing. A natural stress reliever and toddlers will love trying to imitate you as you hold poses on the floor.

18. Add some lemon and lime slices to your ice water for fun sipping drinks. Get some fun twisty straws, or fancy colored bendy straws, for drinks.

photo courtesy of Sarah

19. Put together puzzles on the floor.

 photo courtesy of Dee

20. Play dress up - another toddler favorite - even if it is just with mom and dad's big people clothes. Grab your most colorful - your most silky - your most fun shirts and shoes and jewelry and give tots their choice of selection.

photo courtesy of Aaryn

21. Make a foot bath. Take old buckets (ice cream pails, or large bowls of any kind). Fill 1/2 way with warm water, a scent or oil or bubble mix, float a few flowers or pedals on the top. Dip your feet and relax together. 

22. Take the boards out of your bookshelf, set them up against the couch, and you have a make-shift indoor slide! The slide can double as a ramp to toss down balls or run cars down.

23. Take silly pictures with different expressions during each shoot.

24. Sing during commercials (or during the game if you are watching for commercials). Sing fun songs, silly songs, loud songs, soft songs. Songs with actions, and songs with facial expressions.

photo courtesy of Nick

25. Play drums - this can be anything from pots and pans to a chair, bench, or turned-over tub of just about any kind. Drum sticks can be spoons, sticks from the tree outside, paint brushes, or anything else your toddler selects. Have an assortment - discover what different sounds come from different tools.

26. Set up a train track.

Rudy from the Puppy Bowl

27. Flip over to the Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet.

photo courtesy of Tamara

28. Place sheets over the back of couches/chairs and make a fort! Move in the dolls and teddy bears and trucks and farm animals. Or, make a giant box house hideout from an old box or several that you open up on the side and duct tape together.

photo courtesy of Elizabeth

29. Grab your baby pool tucked away from summer, set it up as a mini 'pool' indoors. Place a bit of warm water in, bath toys, let the tots strip down or done a swim suit and do a little splashing. Warm water never hurt anything...

30. Water the plants - get a little toddler size watering can. Set up a safe (non-tipping) step stool so your little one can self-fill, or turn on the faucet in the tub and let them tote water from the bathtub to the big plants. Throw some towels on the floor if necessary.

photo courtesy of Nick

31. Cut snowflakes from scrap paper pulled from the recycling or colored paper you have at home.

32. Use old cardboard rolls from wrapping paper, paper towels, toilet paper and play 'telephone.' Experiment, discovering how the vibration feels and sounds when speaking through different tubes. Peek through at each other.

33. Use empty, 1/2 empty, and 3/4 empty water or soda bottles to listen to the different sounds they make ~ and make some music in the process.

34. Spread out blankets and pillows on the floor - make a GIANT bed where all the stuffed animals and dolls can hang out and play, and even take a snooze if 'they' want to.

photo courtesy of Tamara

35. Grab some (washable!) markers, color the palms of your toddler's hand and make handprints on Valentines to send out on Monday to grandparents/friends/family.

photo courtesy of Nick

36. Take baby-doll on a walk around the house in a walking wagon, toddler stroller, mini sling/wrap/carry.

 photo courtesy of Cynthia

photo courtesy of Jada

37. Put on an assortment of silly glasses and hats (snap some pictures!)

photo courtesy of Ashley

38. Draw with magnetic sketch boards.

photo courtesy of Reece

39. Tear/cut pictures out of old magazines of things your toddler likes - old animal magazines are especially great. Paste pictures into a notebook and color/paint/glitter around them.

40. Get some washable window paints ahead of time, throw towels down on the floor, and let your toddlers paint on the sliding glass door or windows.
 
41. Have some family photos printed ahead of times (Walgreens, or your choice of 1-hour photo). Cut out friends and family with fancy scissors. Glue them in a notebook or onto old cardboard pieces, or the insides of paper bags (cut open). Add some coloring, painting, or glitter around them.

42. Do a home version of the "polar plunge" - during commercials (or during the game) toss on some boots and a jacket and do a dash to the end of the yard, or down the stairs and back. See if you can beat your time the next round ~ be silly, sing along the way, make animal noises, have fun.

43. Take "airplane rides." Mom or Dad lay on your back on the floor, legs bent, feet flat. Holding toddler steady, lift him/her up onto the flats of your feet to 'fly' parallel to the ground. Or, take a "horsey ride" - Jump on mom or dad's back and take a ride around the living room. And if you need more run-around fun, grab the laundry baskets and go for a sleigh ride! (We've used bungee cords to pull a toddler-filled laundry basket around our living room - too much fun!)

photo courtesy of Sarah

44. Set up rocking chairs - big ones, small ones - do some rocking!

photo courtesy of Ivy

45. Have an UNbirthday ~ bake a cake during commercials, have candles, sing songs, don some party hats, blow out candles. Re-light, and blow out again. Repeat. (Another toddler favorite!)


Remember: You're not managing an inconvenience this Super Bowl Sunday. You are caring for a beautiful, fascinating human being. ♡


2012 Update! 

We may or may not be indulging in the super bowl game with kiddos this year, but creating a fantastic party platter replica is right up our alley! Check out these fun ideas - and if you do something imaginative, drop us a note. We'd love to hear from you.  







~~~~

The Instinctual Waterbirth of Baby Mason

Disappointed in OBs available, a mother transfers care to a homebirth midwife at 33 weeks pregnant, and has a truly empowering birthing day.

By Kate Clark
photos © 2010


My first pregnancy with my daughter, Tara, now 3 years old, had gone well and I delivered her in a 36-hour drug free labour with a doula in a private hospital. The only intervention was breaking waters at 7cm. So when I fell pregnant the second time, I just imagined I would birth the same way and hopefully have no intervention.

I booked into the same OB as I had with my first pregnancy, but on the day we went in for our initial appointment, he smelled strongly of cigarette smoke. The next day I phoned to cancel his services and booked into another highly recommended OB.

This new OB greeted me with negativity and pushiness that did not sit well with me. I wasn’t pleased to be told that “big sweet-tooth, equals big baby, equals big forceps” and when my gestational diabetes test came back borderline I did not appreciate the suggestion that I be induced at 37 weeks. My pregnancy had no complications at all. But his early induction could have had something to do with my Dec 28 due date - wouldn't want to interrupt his Christmas vacation...

I had a meeting with my doula, Jan, and told her I had always been interested in homebirth, but at 33 weeks I thought it wouldn’t be possible to organize everything. She told me to look into it and if I came up against a brick wall, then I'd know it wasn't meant to be. But if it goes smoothly then I would know it is right. I rang a midwife who was happy to take me on even though I only had 7 weeks to go and was expecting a Christmas baby. My OB gave me a full refund after I told him I no longer wanted his service and s-l-o-w-l-y my husband, Garrett, came around to the idea of a homebirth after a few meetings with our midwife.

Christmas Day 2010 came along and I was woken at 2am with a few niggles and a dull ache in my lower back. I had a sense this was “It” but managed to push things to the back of my mind for most of the day so that I could enjoy Christmas with Tara. I was determined for my son not to be born on Christmas Day as I really wanted him to have his own special day.

Sensations were getting more intense during the day but I tried to stay relaxed and rested. I thought I may be in for a long night, as my first labour was 36 hours and started exactly the same. I lost a little of my mucous plug around 2pm and we had an early dinner with my parents. After, we went for a drive to show Tara the amazing Christmas lights until 9pm. When we arrived home Tara and I had a special moment when she, from out of nowhere, placed her head on my tummy and cuddled her little brother. "What are your favorite Christmas lights buddy?” she asked. "You want to come out and see them with us?”

We put Tara to bed after she pointed out that my tummy was “VERY HARD!” I agreed and told her that her baby brother was ready to come out tomorrow or the next day. I tucked myself into bed around 10pm and tried to get some rest, but couldn’t get comfortable. At midnight I decided to leave everyone asleep and head to our garage where I had set up a rug, beanbag, candles, music, and oils and walk around to ease the discomfort.

I walked around until I felt a contraction then swayed from side to side like I was dancing with my baby. I was using my iPhone contraction timer and although they were irregular, they were around 34 secs long every 2.5 minutes. I took a dose of Caulophyllum from my Ainsworths Homeopthy kit hoping to reduce the labour length.

At 2am I thought I was coping okay with conscious breathing, but I could feel the intensity of the sensations rise, so I messaged Jan and asked her to come join me for support. After a few more sensations, I woke Garrett up and told him Jan was coming over and could he start setting up the birth pool as I knew that process would take a while. He spoke to my parents and asked them to come over, but we figured if it was anything like my last labour we still had a good 24 hours to go.

My parents came over to watch Tara while she slept. Poppy slept in Tara’s queen bed with her, while Gran came into the garage with me and got heat packs ready for me. I told her I messaged the midwife Jacqui at 2am to give her notice, but wasn’t sure if I should get her to come just yet. She suggested I should as it is an hour drive from our place.

By 2:30 Jan arrived and gave me a big welcoming hug and told me this is where I’m suppose to be and to relax and let go. I told her my legs were tired from walking around, but I struggled to find a comfortable seated position. We simply sat down and with mum holding a heat pack on my back and using an endorphin release technique of scratching nails down my back and legs, and Jan in front of me talking me through each sensation, I sat - eyes closed - and I told myself to r-e-l-a-x every other muscle in my body. I'd practiced these relaxation techniques through powerbirth and now I was in the midst of my birthing day, focused on opening up. I imagined a cervix opening. And at the time, I really thought I was aiming for 3cm or so, but I must have been closer to 7-9cm at the moment. I spoke with Jan about my worries along the way, as I wanted to acknowledge them, and let them go, so I could be free. I told them I was worried I had called everyone out when it wasn’t actually the real thing... I was concerned that Jan and midwife would have to go back home. She reminded me that I needed to stop thinking (something I'm very good at!) and just relax and surrender to the labour.

All of a sudden I felt an intense pressure in my bottom, causing me to grab the beanbag and lean over it. This brought a huge release of fluid and was shocked. I asked Jan if it was my waters breaking. My mum was behind me and she said it wasn’t a lot, but yes, it was. I was so surprised as I really wanted them to break naturally this time due to my first hospital birth having them artificially broken at 7cm.

After that release, I felt the intensity and couldn't resist asking Jan, "Is he coming?” They said they would help me over to the birth pool because it was quite a distance away. I have never been on such a mission - I had visualized having a morning waterbirth, so I was very determined to get to the pool before he was born. And I didn’t want to have a contraction outside on the way. I couldn't wait for Mum or Jan - I just got up, tried to keep my legs together, and waddled as fast as I could to the birth pool.

Garrett stood there continuing to fill the pool (now only half full) but I couldn't wait - got straight in and knelt down and felt between my legs. It was the softest hair I had ever felt waving gently in the pool water. His head is right there! I told them... I don’t think anyone (myself included) even believed all of this was happening so quickly.

Someone asked Garrett to ring our midwife to see how far away she was, and as I felt the next wave of sensation, I looked at Jan who was in front of me, and a fear broke out from within me. I’m not sure why, but I was fearful. My visualization of my homebirth included my midwife being right there in the background - but she was missing from this moment. Jan looked at me intensely and said, “Your okay. This is fine.” I felt an urge to push, but kept my hand flat across his head, as I wasn’t ready for him to come yet. I asked for Garrett, who was still outside talking with our midwife, to come back inside.

Mum went to get Garrett and Jan told him to take her place in front of me while Mum stood behind me. I looked strongly into Garrrett’s eyes while another urge to push came on. I birthed my son's head slowly this time - feeling the ring of fire, but not being afraid of it. I slowly pushed through it and said to Garrett, “His head is out!” With the next quick urge, I pushed out his shoulders slowly, without a tear, and pulled him up onto my chest and sat down in the pool... Amazing! This is exactly how I saw my waterbirth - but in fast forward as it all happened so quickly.


Mason Rook was born at 3:44am (luckily Jan asked Mum for the time)! Ten minutes later I heard my midwife’s car pull up.

An important part of my birth plan was to finish by birthing the placenta. With my first birth the OB used cord traction to release it, as it had already separated but I was so exhausted I couldn’t get up to birth it on my own. This time, Mason and I sat in the pool for an hour just cuddling and waiting for the placenta to detach on its own. Aside from my water breaking naturally, this was the only other unknown to me - the only part of birth I hadn't done before. Because of this I felt tension mounting that I needed to let go of. I needed to relax. But my brain was spinning... would I need to transfer to the hospital if it didn't detach? My midwife, Jan and Mum stepped outside to give me space. I melted into my new family ~ just Garrett, Mason and me.

And then, as I took Mason to my breast for the first time, I felt contractions intensify. I wasn’t sure what to do with them - if I needed to push or not. With gentle guidance, my midwife explained that just as my body knew how to birth Mason, it would know how to push out the placenta. All I had to do was listen to my own body's rhythm. She told me I'd see a little blood in the water when the placenta separates (it was still very clear with bits of vernix floating around). She told me I could clamp the cord and let Garrett hold Mason while I birthed the placenta if I wished, but in my birth image, I saw Mason still attached to it, so I wanted it to be birthed with him.

Jan knew I was contemplating a lotus birth and that this stage meant a lot to me. Soon, we could see it had separated and I handed Mason to Garrett at the side of the pool. I leaned over both Garrett's shoulder and the edge of the pool and finally felt the urge to push. It came out in one go and I lifted it up to the surface - full, complete and beautiful!


We decided it was time to clamp and cut about 1 1/2 hours after Mason was born - I bet a hospital wouldn’t let me wait that long! We estimated established labour was 1 1/2 hrs long. No interventions, internal exams, or fetal monitoring at all. My daughter, Tara, had slept through the whole thing so we woke her at 6:30am to meet her new brother! We sat around together eating breakfast and watching the sunrise as the gentle rain set in.


We planted Mason’s placenta under a bird of paradise tree as his middle name, Rook, is the name of a strong and intelligent bird of prey found in paradise. We often see the crows gather around this tree and like to think that they are his deceased loved ones protecting him. ❤


~~~~

Really Do Care

A song adaptation to the tune of The Beatles' "Ticket to Ride"


I think I'm gonna be sad.
I think it's today - yeah.
This girl was driving me mad
While talking today...
'Cause she's gonna cut her baby
She's gonna cut her baby, yeah,
She's gonna cut her babe...
and she don't care.

She said that speaking to me
Was bringing her down - yeah.
Her will just couldn't be free
Though my reasons were sound.
So, she's gonna cut her baby -
She's gonna cut her baby, yeah,
She's gonna cut her babe... and she don't care.

Before she takes her poor baby's rights
You'd think she'd research -
You'd think she'd do right by him...
But family, church, her friends and the like
They say, "Just do it! So what's a bit of skin?"

(guitar riff)

I think I'm gonna be sad.
I think it's today - yeah.
A boy lost a part of himself,
Got taken away... yeah.
'Cause she said that it was her baby
She said that it was her baby -
She said that he was her babe... and I shouldn't care.

But I really do care.
I really do care...


~Sheila N. Vinson



More from Vinson:

For information, see books, websites and articles at: Are You Fully Informed?

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