Posts
As Laurel Thatcher Ulrich said, "Well behaved women rarely make history." And here's to YOU for stirring the pot just a bit when our stagnant ways start to stink.
Today my hero is Laura Bilbo.
Laura with her two youngest boysMother to three boys, one who is all grown up and recently enlisted in the Navy, Laura is a stellar example of a woman of strength, courage, compassion, and honesty.
She will openly tell her story of how her first sons were circumcised before she dug into the research on the matter. After self-educating and seeking out the information that is rarely provided to parents making this choice, Laura kept her 3rd son intact. She speaks about the situation from a foundation that is steadily making a difference for those around her. Today, she is an intactivist, working in her own way to save babies and empower others with accurate information.
Laura also takes steps toward making the world a baby-friendly place in other situations as they present themselves. Always aware. Always on the lookout. Always keen and quick on the draw - Laura is changing lives.
Today, she took her two youngest boys to a half-price bookstore near her home in Texas. As the boys indulged in their latest fictional discoveries, Laura scanned the shelves to check for any copies of Babywise.
I'm sure she was half-hoping not to find any. After all, when they are there glaring you in the face you are presented with the bigger dilemma - what to do about them? When I recently walked into our local Babies R Us store to find the shelves lined with nothing but Babywise, I stumbled into my own catastrophe of sorts.
As I've mentioned before, I am not a fan of censorship, or book burning. That is, in virtually all cases but this one. The Ezzos and their Babywise books have damaged more infants and caused more problems than is even comprehensible. You would think that if the AAP (who tends to be rather conservative on most subjects) issues a statement regarding the damaging effects of Babywise methods, that parents would hear about it and the failure-to-thrive incidents would end.
Unfortunately, as I type there are still "I Love Babywise" groups in various locations online with hundreds of members and mothers asking, "What do I do if my 10 week old is crying for 5 hours a night?" "How should I handle my 3 month old who screams in between his every-4-hour-feedings?" "Why is my milk decreasing in volume?" "How can I get my newborn on MY schedule?!" ...you get the picture.
So there Laura stood, scanning the books, and was a bit taken aback to find 2 copies of the yellow book glaring at her from their place on the shelf.
And now the problem presents itself.
Should she buy the books to toss - ensuring another unknowing mother seeking advice doesn't accidentally stumble upon them and reek havoc on herself and her little ones in the process?
Or should she use the money for her sons' books - her original intent on coming into the book store in the first place.
She could hide them. That is what many women have admitted to doing in libraries and bookstores across the country. Only in this small store, they would easily be found and placed back on the shelf for purchase. Plus, there are cameras, and hiding books isn't exactly a social norm that mothers need to be caught breaking in front of their kids.
So instead, Laura went to the store manager. "Now don't think I'm crazy..." she started her explanation, "but I thought you should know that The American Academy of Pediatrics has issued a statement against this book for health reasons." The manager was intrigued as Laura quickly pulled up the AAP's statement on Babywise on her iPhone and let the manager look it over.
The manager was genuinely concerned and took the books from the shelves with Laura's request that they be removed from the store. It may be too much to hope that the books will not make their way back up to the "Baby" section of this second hand book store. But the manager did assure Laura she would at least make sure each book had a disclaimer warning parents who may buy the book.
And with that small feat, Laura has changed the world in her South Central Texas town. At least for someone, somewhere.
Cheers, Laura!! Now if I had that personal jet of mine, I'd fly over and give you a big ol' hug. But just know, I am cheering you on from D.C. with happy tears in my eyes and a smile in my heart for all the ways you made life a better one to live. Thank you for inspiring others to do the same.
...and now, too, I guess I will have to admit to my husband that there is at least one useful reason for him to have that iPhone always on hand. ;)
For more on Babywise, the Ezzos and Growing Kids God's Way methods see:
American Academy of Pediatrics Statement about Babywise
Dr. William Sears on Growing Kids God's Way/Babywise
Confessions of a Failed Babywiser
Pediatric Nurse & Former Ezzo Parent
Adventures in Ezzoland
Ezzo Information Website
Become Wise to Babywise
The Case for Cue Feeding (rather than PDF - "parent directed feeding")
List of Resources on Baby Sleep
List of Resources on Sleep Training, CIO, controlled crying
List of Resources for Breastfeeding Mothers
List of Resources on Babywearing
9 comments:
This is truly amazing! Thank you Laura for your dedication to improving the lives of our most innocent, helpless citizens.
I have a little "tract" if you will typed up about babywise (AAP position) and when I see these books on bookshelves I slip it into the book, somewhere in the first chapter. Hopefully parents will read and reconsider...
Wow! Laura made an awesome choice. I cringed as I thought maybe she would buy them because unfortunately that creates at "demand" for more books. With just a small conversation, she may have healed a wound rather than just put a band aid on it! How awesome!!!! Another example of how changing the world one person at a time really does work!!!
Yay Laura! A true hero!I also was afraid at first that she would buy them. I have talked to moms who have... but the thing is that puts money into his pocket even if the book doesn't get into the hands of a parent who doesn't know better. My mother who is a pedes nurse and I were talking about this just the other day. She is of the mind the the doctors and lactation consultants who face the issues that crop up with the children and the parents who are following Babywise need to start calling children and family services if the parents want to stick to it. There is a part of me that agrees.
I keep looking for copies second hand here, but I've never even seen a new copy. Maybe I should get my aunt to ask at her church (gag)
Tiny Footprints, they do need to have child and family services called on them. Using babywise doesn't necessarily make you abusive -but if your child is having medical problems because you are following the method rather than your brain that means you need someone monitoring you. The same as if you have become desensitized to your baby's cries -either through babywise or depression or whatever. Your child as at increased risk and someone should be watching.
(and for the record I hate CPS but I also don't think you can walk away from an at risk child just because the social worker might be useless or worse)
CPS is supposed to be an educating institution to help keep children in their home and improve parenting...unfortunately it doesn't always work that way. A babywise siutuation would be a perfect opportunity for education
I love the idea of putting a little pamphlet in the book! Great idea!
That is great. I would likely put them behind some other books so they might never be found...only because I have a toddler and would not make it to talk to the manager.
That is great to hear, that book is awful.
All we can do is educate parents one at a time. Book stores have the right to carry tho books but maybe by educating the owners like Laura did, they will make the right choice to not endanger any more babies with this method...
Hurray for Laura! I joined the I love Babywise group the other day, hoping that presenting information gently would help SOMEONE, anyone...nope. They kicked me out and blocked me. It breaks my heart to think of those babies. A lady at my church uses BW. *GAG*
Post a Comment