peaceful parenting

Tree of Life Artistic Breastfeeding Photos

Mothers everywhere are creating and celebrating gorgeous tree of life breastfeeding art photos this month with the help of the PicsArt app.

To create your own, follow the directions below, and share with peaceful parenting on Facebook to have your photo added to this album of beautiful celebration.

Directions:

Download the PicsArt app to your phone.

Choose/save a breastfeeding photo you like.

Using Google, search for "transparent tree of life" or "transparent tree with roots" or save an image with a white background. We have a few options at the bottom of this page that you can use. UPDATE: Because of the popularity of these tree of life breastfeeding photos, PicsArt has added a variety of trees to its stickers that can be used right from the app. Directions to select a pre-made sticker from the app are below.

Click "Edit" and select your breastfeeding photo.

Use "Tools" to crop to a 1:1 square size for profile images.

Click "Magic" and select your filter. Adjust filter intensity to your liking.

Click "Apply" to save.

Scroll over select "Add Photo." Add your tree photo and adjust its size and orientation. UPDATE: PicsArt now has trees in its stickers file. To use one already in the app, click "Add Ons," select "Tree of Life" click the "Free/Use" button at the bottom. This will add the tree stickers to your tool bar. Go back to your main image, find the "Sticker" tab, and select the tree you'd like to use.

Decrease opacity or color of your tree to your liking, stretch/alter size and orientation, and click "Blend" to alter the way the tree overlay looks. This will also eliminate white backgrounds for non-transparent tree images.

When you are finished "Save and Share" (to yourself only if you'd like this to remain private on your phone PicsApp account).

Upload your image anywhere you'd like it to be used.

Happy Breastfeeding!

Related Resources:

Good Breastfeeding Books

The Breastfeeding Discussion Group (for nursing mothers and IBCLCs)

Articles at Peaceful Parenting (scroll to bottom)

Breastfeeding Info Packets and Stash Items (encouragement for expecting and nursing moms)

❤ Chelsea and her little one

❤ Rita and her little one

❤ Heidi and her little one

❤ Bridget and her little one

❤ Jessica and her little one

❤ Hannah and her little ones

❤ Ashley and her little one

❤ Enedina and her little ones

❤ Alenka and her little one

❤ Mary and her little one

❤ Katie and her little one

❤ Kayla and her little one

❤ Mia and her little one

❤ Brooke and her little one

❤ Mia and her little one

❤ Danni and her little one

❤ Bridget and her little one

❤ Diana and her little one

❤ Kristin and her little one

❤ Abigail and her little one

❤ Ashley and her little one

❤ Marissa and her little one

❤ Linda and her little one

❤ Liquid gold! Pumping. Photo by Linda

❤ Brooke and her little one

❤ Kimberly and her little one

❤ Allie and her little one

❤ Sierra and her little one

❤ Missy and her little one

❤ Laura and her little one

❤ Christina and her little one

❤ Sandy and her little one

❤ Tamara and her little one

❤ Genevieve and her little one

❤ Svetlana and her little one

❤ Cassie and her little one

❤ Amy and her little ones

❤ Heather and her little ones

❤ Laura and her little one

❤ Krista and her little one

❤ Clarissa and her little one

❤ Stephanie and her little one

❤ Lucy and her little one

❤ Gabriela and her little one

❤ Tamara-Marie and her little one

❤ Kelly and her little one

❤ Whitney and her little one

❤ Leah and her little one

❤ Kersti and her little one

❤ Jaimie and her little one

❤ Jenny and her little one

❤ Taylor and her little one

❤ Becca and her little one

❤Angie and her little one

❤ Libby and her little one

❤ Leah and her little one

❤ Charlene and her little one

❤ Janelle and her little one

❤ Emily and her little one

❤ Stephanie and her little one

❤ Raychel and her little one

❤ Amy and her little one

❤ Nikki and her little one

❤ Veronica and her little one

❤ Vicki and her little one

❤ Elaine and her little one

❤ Linea and her little one

❤ Brandi and her little one

❤ Gini and her little one

❤ Lu and her little one

❤ Kristine and her little one

❤ Tanya and her little one

❤ Kara and her little one

❤ Brittany and her little one

❤ April and her little one

❤ Danielle and her little one

❤ Heidi and her little one

Tree of Life Images that will work for overlays:
Note that PicsArt has now added their own trees in the "Add Ons" option for ease of use.

TARGET Gives Back

Target Gives Back!

It's a win-win for babies everywhere: when you set up a baby, wedding, college registry, open a Target Red Card, or shop Target online, a small donation will be given back to Peaceful Parenting.

Use the links below, and share with a friend. These dollars go back into baby-saving through maternity expos, education, and events that empower parents with baby-friendly information and materials.

Baby registry: http://goto.target.com/c/355051/159389/2092

Wedding registry: http://goto.target.com/c/355051/125928/2092

College registry: http://goto.target.com/c/355051/195317/2092

To open a Red Card and save 5% on all Target purchases: http://goto.target.com/c/355051/99528/2092

Shop Target with free shipping on all $25+ orders (can be picked up, exchanged, or returned in store): http://goto.target.com/c/355051/143415/2092

Also shop Amazon?

As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.
These earnings are spent directly on baby expos and educational tabling events.

*******

Circumcision Regret: The Hardest Conversation With My Son

Tonight I had the hardest conversation ever.

My boys, ages 7 and 1, took a bath together (rare), and my oldest son told me that my toddler may have a rash because the end of his penis was pink (a normal shade, I wasn't concerned). He then asked me why his brother's penis 'looked different' from his.

I grimaced, but told him, "When you were a baby, Mommy and Daddy didn't know any better, and the doctor told us it was needed, so we got you circumcised, and I'm very sorry."

He asked what that was, and (not having time to pre-plan my response), I told him that there was 'extra skin' that was cut off his body. He asked why my toddler has this still, and I replied, "Because we found out it is better if you do have it. But it's okay now that you don't -- your penis is fine." [I panicked in this moment because I didn't want my son to think there is something wrong with him.]

He looked at my toddler's penis and said slowly, "That must have hurt..."

I replied, "It did, but the doctor told Mommy and Daddy that it didn't, and we didn't find out until later that he lied to us."

My son thought for a moment, "Daddy has the skin."

"I know," I said. [My husband was circumcised at birth, but has restored.]

"So why did you let the doctor cut mine?"

"I don't know son, we didn't research it, so I didn't know not to. We're very sorry. Now Mommy researches EVERYTHING."

"Did I cry?"

"Probably. I wasn't there, and neither was Daddy. They wouldn't let us see you."

"Did I bleed?"

"Yes..."

I let him think on it, and I could tell he was getting angry. (😢) Very angry.

"Momma, this is my penis. Why did you let them cut me?"

I broke down crying and just apologized over and over...

My son then bent down and gave me a hug, and said, "It's okay Momma. I know you and Daddy didn't know, but I hate that doctor. I want to punch him." I told him that honestly the doctor probably didn't know any better either, but now doctors are learning too. He asked if others had theirs cut, and I told him that many boys do -- as far as I know all of his friends were, because their parents didn't know any better either.

Then he asked if his baby cousin would be, and I said probably. "Mommy tried to talk with them, but they wouldn't listen."

Then it was my son who started crying and saying he wishes they would listen to me...

After I stopped us both (I started crying again too) he asked me if he could see my toddler's 'extra skin.' I told him no - that would pull and hurt him, and that he will pull it on his own when he's old enough. "We don't touch it except to wipe the outside like a finger when he needs it."

He asked what God said, and I told him, "God said to leave babies perfect, but Mommy hadn't read that part of the Bible when you were born." (Easiest way to explain that, I figured.) He asked if doctors had read those things, and I told him that I didn't know if his doctor had or not, but I would assume not.

Then he asked if he could see the 'circus-in-him' (circumcision). I very hesitantly said yes, there are videos of it being done to others... And he said he wanted to see.

So while he was getting ready for bed I dried off my toddler and found an educational video of how the procedure is performed online, and we watched it together.

He said, "It looks painful, but the baby didn't cry." I told him that it was just a demonstration, that I didn't want to hear a baby cry, and didn't think he should either. He said okay -- he just wanted to know how much it hurt him.

I asked him if he remembered when he slammed his fingers in the door (it took off skin), and he said yes. I told him that it hurt worse than that. He got quiet again, and then said he would never 'circus-in-him' his babies. GOOD, I said.

I apologized again, and we hugged. Later on he asked me if girls were cut, and I said no, and he concluded with, "That's not fair that they cut boys but not girls..." I said that's true -- and it is "one reason Mommy and so many others are telling people to not cut anyone." He said okay, and has not spoken about it again.

I wanted to share this experience from our day so that regret parents like me would know what I personally said when the topic came up with my older child, and some of the things he asked of me, to give a better idea of what may also come up in your family. Hopefully this will help in planning what you'd like to say to your own son, so you are more prepared than I was.

Read more from parents raising both intact and circumcised sons at:

DrMomma.org/2010/05/i-circumcised-my-son-healing-from.html

Explore further information on the topic of genital autonomy and benefits of keeping your son intact:
SavingSons.org/2014/12/should-i-circumcise-pros-and-cons-of.html

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Sleeps 'Til Christmas - Countdown For Kids

How many 'sleeps' till Christmas... a fun little countdown for kiddos sent to us from Dreams and The Sleep Matters Club of the UK: http://www.dreams.co.uk/sleep-matters-club/sleeps-until-christmas/

Carnival Cruise Ship Officers Tell Breastfeeding Mother to "Cut it Out!"

On a recent Carnival cruise, North Carolina mom, Crystal Silvas, was nursing her 9 month old daughter aboard near one swimming pool area, when two of the ship's officers began flailing their arms at her in front of other passengers. "The men in white started waving their arms really high and saying to 'cut it out!' and told me I couldn't feed her anywhere outside my stateroom," said Silvas, and added, "It was absolutely the most humiliating moment of my life.

Deeply hurt by the experience, Silvas said the experience "ruined her vacation" and that the weeks following have been "the most stressful" she can imagine. Silvas is mom to two adopted children and reached out to Carnival about its breastfeeding policy, but did not receive a straight answer for two weeks. At that time she reached out to news station, FOX 46 Charlotte, who obtained results for Silvas within hours.

The cruise line has since apologized, and this is Carnival’s complete statement in response:

Guests traveling on a Carnival cruise are free to breastfeed in any location on board. We sincerely apologize if your viewer was given information to the contrary or made to feel uncomfortable. We are further researching this and will ensure the shipboard team is clear that women are free to breastfeed in both public and private areas of the ship.

Carnival has also offered Silvas and her family a complementary cruise to compensate for this bad experience.

*****

The Breastfeeding Group (for nursing mothers and IBCLCs): FB.com/groups/Breastfed

Breastfeeding Books: http://astore.amazon.com/peacefparent-20?_encoding=UTF8&node=1

Encouraging breastfeeding items, bracelets, and 'thank you for nursing in public' cards: DrMomma.org/2007/02/breastfeeding-info-cards-etc.html

Induced Lactation: DrMomma.org/2010/04/induced-lactation.html

My Adoptive Breastfeeding Journey: DrMomma.org/2010/10/my-adoptive-breastfeeding-journey.html

Breastfeeding My Adoptive Child: DrMomma.org/2009/08/special-gift-breastfeeding-adopted.html

Menstrual cups for healthier bodies, happier periods!

Menstrual cups are soft, bendable, reusable, more comfortable, and so much better for our bodies! For those who'd otherwise use tampons, check out the wide variety available today by Googling 'menstrual cup.' There are wide varieties to select from: http://astore.amazon.com/peacefparent-20?_encoding=UTF8&node=58

Women who opt for pads instead may find they love 'moon pads' (soft, washable, reusable pads) vs. plastics. Many options exist today for healthier bodies and happier periods.

This post was originally live on Facebook. Image courtesy of GladRags.

****

Babies Aren't Soldiers

By Melissa Cline
Read in Spanish here

Melissa and her beautiful son.

Back in the day when our baby was colicky, my dear husband (who spent 10 years in the Army and National Guard) commonly suggested that because we had tried everything we knew to do to help him, we should just put our son in his pack-n-play and shut the door. (He thought that this would help me to be less upset about not being able to stop our baby's crying.)

When our son was 8 months old I finally figured out a way to get my husband to really understand why I was so opposed to forcing our baby to cry-it-out (CIO).

Here's how our conversation went:

Hubs: I figured our son could cry in your arms, or cry in his bed - there's really no difference because nothing else is working.

Me: There is a difference to me and to our baby. All that a little baby knows is whether or not someone responds to his needs. I wouldn't want to teach him that it is of no use to ask for help because no one will come anyway. We don't even teach SOLDIERS that! We tell them that someone will always come for you - we don't leave a man behind.

Hubs: Babies aren't soldiers.

Me: Then why would we ask them to be tougher than soldiers?

Hubs: Hm. I never thought of it that way. Good point.

Thank you for all you've done at peaceful parenting to help me get to the place where I feel so confident trusting my parenting instincts.

onesies and tees available from Made By Momma

"Cry-it-out does not lead to 'sleeping through the night' - it results in learned helplessness."

-Danelle Day

For additional research and articles on CIO, see: Sleep Training Resources

Good books that address this subject:

Baby Sleep Book Collection

Why Love Matters
The Science of Parenting
Our Babies, Ourselves
The Continuum Concept: In Search of Happiness Lost
The Natural Child: Parenting From the Heart
The Attachment Parenting Book
The Fussy Baby Book
The Baby Sleep Book
The No-Cry Sleep Solution
Nighttime Parenting

~~~~

Circumstraint Patent and Origin

By Brian Brown © 2016
Read more from Brown at Intact Connecticut, and find him along the SOS Odyssey

Is the Olympic Circumstraint a medieval torture device or piece of modern medical equipment? It is difficult to tell, but one thing is for certain: the grave horrors this board has witnessed pale most other traumas that are needlessly inflicted upon the bodies of newborn babies in North America.

Pictured above is the original blueprint of the circumstraint - a retraining board used most often for forced genital cutting of infants. Although the design has changed since its inception in 1953, the intent has not - it is an effective way to immobilize a small infant.

The patents reads (in part):

An infant immobilizing device particularly suited to the performance of circumcision and other operations upon small infants for which general anesthesia is not necessary or advisable.

...substantially complete immobility is achieved.

[The size is ideal.] This is true since operations of this type are usually performed in the first two weeks of life but not until the infants weight has increased to about seven pounds. It is found, therefore, that a retaining depression 10b cupped approximately to fit an average eight-pound infant will do well for the majority of cases.

While fairly close conformity of the depression walls to the body contour is desirable to minimize freedom of movement of the child, nevertheless a small amount of clearance from the infants body along the depression walls is not objectionable in that regard and is actually preferred to an excessively tight fit creating discomfiture for lack of air circulation around the skin. The walls of the depression should extend well up around the sides of the body members to furnish lateral restraint against physical movement, but should otherwise leave the body exposed as much as possible for access by the surgeon.

Interestingly, the patent makes no mention of the sex of the child that this device is appropriate for. In post-war America, it was perfectly legal to immobilize any infant for the purpose of cutting their genitals – male, female, or intersex. Females finally gained legal protection in 1997 from this medieval practice in the United States. Isn’t it time we extend the basic right of genital autonomy to all?

Related reading:

Author and genital cutting survivor, Patricia Robinett, speaks about her own forced circumcision: youtube.com/watch?v=50BaM7H2GLI

An anonymous nurse describes the horror of genital cutting upon the circumstraint: SavingSons.org/2012/06/if-this-stained-circumstraint-could.html

FGM Bill of the United States: DrMomma.org/2016/03/female-genital-mutilation-fgm-bill-of.html

Olympic Circumstraint patent: google.com/patents/US2751268

Also by Brown:

Finding My Voice: No Questions Left Unanswered

Coming Out Twice

Men Speak on Genital Autonomy

*******

I'm a Natural Mom Having a Natural Birth

So many of us are natural moms, planning natural births. We've done our research, poured over literature on everything from pregnancy to birth to babyhood. We know who we want on our birth team. We've interviewed doulas and midwives and chosen those who mesh best with our personalities and underlying values. We have a birth plan ready to go. We envision having a beautiful, gentle birth - to not be cut open or cut into unless there is undoubtedly a valid medical need to do so.

And our babies would like the same.

Not a single one enters this world wanting to be needlessly cut. A newborn baby's basic needs are few: love, gentle care, warmth, milk. No baby is born broken when it comes to genital autonomy, and each one wants to remain in the safe security of your arms.

Listen to your instincts. Dig deep. Research the functions of the foreskin - the reason that this organ of the body is present on every mammal on earth. Then, after your gentle birth, keep your little one intact, happy and whole. He'll be forever thankful that you did! ❤

Related Reading:

Functions of the Foreskin: Purposes of the Prepuce

Foreskin and its 16+ Functions

Men Speak on Infant Circumcision

Are You Fully Informed? Pros and Cons of Infant Circumcision

Intact Care Resources

Intact: Healthy, Happy, Whole - community group for questions

Research Everything...

Topic Based Peaceful Parenting Discussion Groups

Don't Retract Pack