by Vanessa Reimer,
author of Pure Ness: What I Actually Think
posted with permission
Today I came across a comment about attachment parenting mothers having an attitude of superiority. This is not the first time I've heard this. It seems to be a common label given to those who practice this style of parenting. My response - Yep.
It's not that we think we are better than you, but simply that the methods we've chosen are better than the alternatives. That is why we chose them. Isn't that they way it's supposed to work? You research and compile and listen, and then you decide to do what sounds and feels like the best - the superior - thing for your baby.
So, yes, we think that what we do is better than what you do. Don't you think the same way? What mother says, "Yeah, this is definitely the poorer choice for my kid, but I'm going to do it anyway?"
Honestly, there are times when we simply cannot understand why you choose some things -- like cry-it-out or formula feeding. It just seems so clearly to be the lesser, or more harmful choice. It boggles my mind that some parents make the decisions they do, even when they are presented with evidence contrary to what they believe. It's like watching someone standing in front of a bin marked "Garbage" on one side, and "Recycling" on the other, and then proceed to throw their glass bottle into the garbage. Huh? I'm so confused. How did you decide that was the better or right choice?
I know that making the decision to attachment parent is a bit more challenging than moving your arm to the other slot on the bin, but often it's easier to do than not.
Bringing your baby into bed with you instead of listening to them cry for hours? Easier.
Whipping out a boob instead of getting up to prepare formula? Easier.
Throwing your baby in a carrier instead of lugging around a car seat? Easier.
Keeping your tiny newborn close to you instead of letting them be strapped to a board while a doctor cuts up his penis? Easier. Follow that with "wipe like a finger," instead of "protect with antibiotic ointment and watch for infection." Easier.
Letting your child wean themselves when the time is right instead of denying them the mother milk they want so much? Easier. (Okay, I know that some people will face quite a bit of flack and criticism on this one which can make it very hard to continue. But even the AAFP and WHO both recommend breastfeeding until a minimum of 2 years.)
I do know that there are exceptions to the rule - the baby that demands his own space to sleep, the mother who needs medication that keeps her from breastfeeding, but the good reasons to chose otherwise are the exceptions, not the norm.
I could go on and on about why the choices I make are the better choices, but that really would go on and on...and on. So suffice to say, "Yes, I believe my choices are better. Why else would I choose them?"