Love of a Mother painting by Leisa Collins, New Zealand
Your empathic reply to the comment left by (the first) Anonymous was healing and comforting to me.
20.5 years ago I gave birth to my first son in a military hospital. My (now ex) husband said he'd seen intact boys teased in the locker room. The only thing I recall a medical "authority" saying was, "There is no medical reason to do it." NO ONE said it hurt. NO ONE said there were risks. My intuition told me not to do it, but I deferred to my husband.
After it was done, I got a phone call from the nursery. I could barely hear the nurse saying that I should come nurse him to calm him down right away because my poor baby was screaming. I still burst into tears every single time I think about it. I can still hear his screaming cries today. If there's a hell, I'm certain that that's what it sounds like.
I didn't know a person could feel so much regret. I cannot imagine that a person could view a video of this torture and then still consent to having it done.
I'm not ready to read the letters of apology. I haven't apologized to my firstborn son yet. I came to this CLEAR understanding of what I had allowed rather recently.
I have an 18-month-old son. I was ready to fight my husband, assuming that he would want his son to be like him. I can still remember the day I asked if he would want it done and he said, "No." I couldn't believe that I didn't have to fight! He just knew better. YAY for enlightened people!
Keep up your efforts. I always share on Facebook :)
For others reading who may be in a similar situation:
It is often a 'healing' process, as a loving mother or father, to come to terms with having sons who were circumcised without their parents being fully informed. We are sometimes victims of a myth-filled society along with our children. You do not need to feel guilt about it now - when we know better, we do better. You did the best you could with the information you had at the time and there are many moms and dads in your shoes.
The following are items written by others who have apologized to their sons for what happened to them/was taken from them. They are all intact advocates today, working in their own unique ways to save others from the same. The letters and stories are just beautiful, and as heart-felt as a mother's or father's love can possibly be.
My Beautiful Boy, I am Sorry
The Plastibell Lie
Circumcision: Please Don't Fail Your Son
Circumcision: My Story
My Sweet Boy, Danny... Collapsed Lung Due to Circumcision
Twice Circumcised, Twice Hurt: Regrets surrounding my son's multiple circumcision attempts
Circumcision: A Son's Forgiveness
Circumcision: Never Again
Buying the Lies: Circumcision and its Impact on My Son
The Truth Seeker: Circumcision (birth song poem)
Misled Regret: The Unwanted Circumcision of My Son During Hypospadias Repair
My Fourth Son: Knowing Better, Doing Better and Why Gentle Advocacy Approaches Are Effective
Frail and Broken: Painful Memories of My Son's Circumcision
Lives Changed: A Willingness to Speak Up
No Longer Intact: My Son's Story
Dear Sweet Boy, Please Forgive Me
Circumcision: Breaking the Cycle
Dealing with Circumcision Regret
A Letter to My Son
What if it's too late? Healing After Circumcision [Notes from a practicing urologist]
Regret and the Truth About Circumcision Within Christianity
A Public Apology to My Circumcised Son
Mothers Talk about Sons' Circumcisions
Circumcision Gone Wrong: Lantz' Story
My Son is Circumcised and I Support the MGM Bill
Circumcision's Profound Impact on My Family
Marching Forward: Telling My Son About Circumcision
My Son Was Born Perfect
What I Wish I'd Known
A Heartfelt Christmas Gift
Will You Make the Cut?
Stop MGM: My oldest son was circumcised
Circumcision: Never Assume Parental Knowledge
Mother of 2 circumcised sons researches circumcision before her 3rd son is born (and kept intact) [video]
Mothering thread from hundreds of mothers who regret circumcision
Music videos by a father on the subject
Someday you may also wish to tell your son(s) about restoration so that he can look into it if he chooses to do so. There are thousands of men restoring today and the benefits are great: Restoration Resources
Keeping Future Sons Intact page: FB.com/FutureSons
Keeping Future Sons Intact Group: FB.com/groups/FutureSons (private group exclusively for regret parents/grandparents)
Intact: Healthy, Happy, Whole: FB.com/groups/IntactHealthy (many parents raising both circumcised and intact sons are in this gentle-education community group)
Facebook Page: CircRegret
Learn more about the prepuce organ (foreskin), intact care, and circumcision information at: Are You Fully Informed?