Cloth Diapering Your Baby After Circumcision

By Kari Osel © 2016 Peaceful Parenting



Each newborn baby arrives into the world with a prepuce organ protecting his or her glans (head) of the penis or clitoris. In baby girls this organ is commonly referred to as the 'clitoral hood' and in baby boys it is often called the 'foreskin.' In some parts of the world girls or boys are circumcised, which removes some or all of this natural protective organ. In the United States, the circumcision of baby girls is illegal by federal law (FGM Bill), though many North American girls are still circumcised each year in 'underground' operations. The two most common forms of infant circumcision of baby boys are by Plastibell and Gomco.

Because a circumcised baby boy’s urethra and sensitive glans (head of his penis) are exposed to the elements, special care must be taken when diapering and tending to this surgical wound. Cloth diapers are easily stained by blood from a baby’s genitals post-circumcision. Vaseline and similar products that are used in an attempt to protect the wound and allow for healing may cause cloth diapers to repel urine. Parents whose babies were circumcised at birth often wonder what the best course of action is at this point to prevent this from happening while using cloth. The following are solutions that have been effective for other families.

1) A strip of fleece or a receiving blanket cut to the appropriate length and width, laid into baby's diaper as a liner between the cloth and Vaseline treatment.

2) A large cotton makeup pad with a dollop of Vaseline on it, applied to your baby's wound and left in place until the next diaper change. This serves as a barrier between the ointment and the diaper. Be sure to use a fresh cotton pad with each change.

3) An ointment called CJ’s BuTTer is sometimes used instead of Vaseline, which is said to be cloth-diaper safe.

4) Cotton prefolds or flats are easiest to launder and care for, to treat stains on, and may be boiled if needed. The downfall is that they do not wick away moisture as pockets (which some babies are sensitive to - leading to rash and irritation). Watching your little one and his/her skin response to different diapering methods is key.

5) Many parents who circumcise their baby use disposables until the time comes when blood stains are no longer a risk factor for their cloth stash. However, if you opt for this means of diapering your baby, be vigilant to check the amount of blood loss during any given hour, and call emergency services immediately if you notice more than a few drops of blood. Hemorrhage post circumcision happens every year in the United States, and a newborn baby only needs to lose 1 ounce of blood to hemorrhage, and 2.3 ounces to die from blood loss. Disposable diapers are designed to hide moisture (including blood) well, and will not show actual amounts lost as clearly as cloth does.

Another important point to consider is your baby’s comfort during the healing weeks. When a baby is born, the prepuce (foreskin/clitoral hood) is tightly adhered to the glans (head) of the clitoris or penis, like your fingernail is tightly fixed to your finger. No matter which method of infant circumcision is used, the prepuce must be probed and ripped apart from the glans. Next, using various methods, an amount of the prepuce is cut off (how much varies according to the individual who is cutting). This is understandably a very painful procedure, and as is the case in many surgeries, the recovery period is often just as painful (if not more so).

Because newborn babies cannot have adequate anesthesia due to their tiny, immature organs, it is especially important for care-givers to make recovery as comfortable as possible. The clitoris or penis is an area of the body that deserves special care as it is the richest part of the human body in terms of nerve endings (and feeling). Cloth diapers are often more comfortable for babies in general than are disposables, and this remains true in the case of those with wounds.

As mentioned above, cloth does not absorb as disposables do (which has the benefit of showing clear blood volume lost), and also is less likely to allow the circumcised genitals to stick to the material of a diaper (causing further pain when a healing wound must be ripped away during diaper changes). Because cloth diapers do not contain chemicals, they are also less likely to irritate sensitive skin.

It is important to change your baby's diaper promptly after urination, and most definitely after defecation, no matter the type of diaper you use post-circumcision. Urine sitting in a diaper is no longer sterile, and a diaper with urine and/or feces in it is not a healthy environment for an open wound. The number one cause of urinary tract infections (UTIs) in babies is fecal matter being pushed into an exposed urethra - whereby bacteria moves up the urinary tract. Be gentle with your little one, give pain medication as your doctor advises or according to weight, nurse often around the clock, sleep safely within an arm's reach of your baby, and change diapers frequently with ample ointment for protection and healing.

Because all babies arrive with a prepuce to naturally protect and keep things out of the urethra, and because there is no open wound while your baby is intact, you do not need to worry about infection or protection at birth when using cloth. For an intact baby (male, female or intersex) the prepuce is a self-sustaining organ and will do all the covering, protecting, and 'cleaning' that is necessary. If you opt to keep your baby intact, simply wipe the outside of the genitals with your choice of wipes, and do not allow anyone to retract your baby's prepuce (not on girls, not on boys). Intact care involves leaving everything alone (no 'cleaning' and no special care). Learn more on intact care here.

Intact Care - Circumcision Care

Find more cloth diapering tips and community at The Cloth and EC Group:
FB.com/groups/DiaperDays or any of these Peaceful Parenting Discussion Groups


I like you just for being YOU! Mr. Fred Rogers' impact on children

Author unknown.


A good portion of my pro-bono work is defending abused children. It’s a cause close to my heart. In the course of my work I met a man who was an adult survivor. You wouldn’t have known it looking at him. He was this gigantic Polynesian guy. Wild curly hair. I think of him every time I see Khal Drogo on GoT. He was counseling some of the little kids, and doing a fantastic job of it. I visited his home to get his opinion on something and I noticed a little toy on his desk. It was Trolley. Naturally curious, I asked him about it. This is what he told me:

"The most dangerous time for me was in the afternoon when my mother got tired and irritable. Like clockwork. Now, she liked to beat me in discreet places so my father wouldn’t see the bruises. That particular day she went for the legs. Not uncommon for her. I was knocked down and couldn’t get back up. Also not uncommon. She gave me one last kick, the one I had come to learn meant ‘I’m done now.' Then she left me there upstairs, face in the carpet, alone.

I tried to get up, but couldn’t. So I dragged myself, arm over arm, to the television, climbed up the tv cabinet and turned on the TV. And there was Mr. Rogers. It was the end of the show and he was having a quiet, calm conversation with those hundreds of kids. In that moment, he seemed to look me in the eye when he said ‘And I like you just for being you.'

In that moment, it was like he was reaching across time and space to say these words to me when I needed them most. It was like the hand of God, if you’re into that kind of thing. It hit me in the soul. I was a miserable little kid. I was sure I was a horrible person. I was sure I deserved every last moment of abuse, every blow, every bad name. I was sure I earned it, sure I didn’t deserve better. I *knew* all of these things... until that moment.

If this man, who I hadn’t even met, liked me just for being me, then I couldn’t be all bad. Then maybe someone could love me, even if it wasn’t my mom. It gave me hope. If that nice man liked me, then I wasn’t a monster. I was worth fighting for.

From that day on, his words were like a secret fortress in my heart. No matter how broken I was, no matter how much it hurt or what was done to me, I could remember his words, get back on my feet, and go on for another day.

That’s why I keep Trolley there. To remind me that, no matter how terrible things look, someone who had never met me liked me just for being me, and that makes even the worst day worth it to me. I know how stupid it sounds, but Mr. Rogers saved my life."

The next time I saw him, he was talking to one of my little clients. When they were done with their session, he helped her out of her chair, took both of her hands, looked her in the eyes and said: 'And remember, I like you just for being you.'

That, to me, is Mr. Rogers’ most powerful legacy. All of the little lives he changed and made better with simple and sincere words of love and kindness.


Explore the ways that peaceful parenting can empower you as a parent, and make the lives of your children even better: FB.com/groups/ExplorePeacefulParenting

Additional peaceful parenting discussion groups by subject: DrMomma.org/2007/12/discussion-groups.html


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Labor-aide Drink Recipe for Birth


The following is a power-packed drink recipe from Gloria Lemay for sipping your electrolytes through the birth process.

Labor-Aide

  • 1 qt. (or litre) water 
  • 1/3 c. honey or real, quality Canadian Maple Syrup 
  • 1/3 c. juice from real lemons 
  • 1/2 t. sea salt 
  • 2 crushed calcium tablets 
  • pinch of cayenne 

Gloria's directions: Put a little hot water on the calcium to make it easier to crush. It’s okay to use cal/mag/VitD tablets if that’s what you have on hand. Stir all together and dilute to a mother's taste as she goes through her birth. It is nice warmed up for a post birth drink, too!

Enjoy ~ and Happy Birthing Day!


If you're a mother looking ahead to your own birth, or are an experienced midwife with information to share, you're welcome to join the Birthing Group: FB.com/groups/Birthing (more holistic) or Pregnant Moms Due (this year): FB.com/groups/DueDateGroup

Learn more from Gloria Lemay at WiseWomanWayofBirth.com

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Sally's Story: How One Brave Single Parent Battled Her Addiction and Fought Her Way to Sobriety

By Amanda Bartow,
Recognition Works


I’ve always admired single parents. To me, they are an inspiring symbol of independence: they work tirelessly, don’t rely on others for empowerment, and still manage to impart dynamic values to the families they raise.

I’m also awe-struck by recovering addicts and their tenacity in overcoming the unthinkable challenges life has thrown at them. So I’m very honored that Sally, a survivor who fits both of these bills, shared her story with me.

Sally was with the father of her children, her high school sweetheart, for 17 years. So as difficult as it was to start a life of her own with her kids, her journey was made more difficult by the fact that she was also setting sail on her path to sobriety. If there is one thing we can all learn from Sally’s story, it’s that single parents can overcome any obstacle to forge a path to a better life for themselves — and their families.

‘I came to the realization that I was really screwing up my life.’ 

 Unfortunately, there are many people struggling with addiction issues who can relate to where Sally was in her life for many years: Relying on drugs and alcohol to get her through the day had become so habitual for her that it was hard for her to imagine them not being a part of her daily routine. But while many addicts realize they’ve lost control of their addiction when their career begins to flail, Sally had her lifesaving epiphany only after hitting a major career milestone.

“When you’re in your addiction, you’re fine going to work messed up. That’s how you live your life, so you don’t mind going to work that way,” she admitted. “But winning an award knowing that I had won it while I was screwed up felt terrible. I was conscious of my addiction, and I was embarrassed. And that started the spiral.”

Her addiction was also affecting her family life in a devastating way. “I missed my child’s fifth birthday. I didn’t have control over anything anymore,” she told me.

Reaching out for help 

Sally decided she was ready to make a change — both for her own sake and the well-being of her loved ones. “I knew I couldn’t do it anymore. My kids were suffering, my friends were suffering, my family was suffering,” she said in an interview with Addiction Campuses, the organization that helped her find her sobriety at Turning Point Recovery, their Mississippi location.

She reached out to her best friend, who had already spoken with Sally’s mom to devise a plan to find Sally the support she needed to get her life back on track. “It’s something I’ll never forget,” she confessed. “Support is one of the greatest things you can get throughout the recovery journey.” The unwavering support of two of her most trusted confidantes meant the world to her — and saved her life. “I couldn’t get by without having the support that I do,” she said.

Life in recovery 

Sally, now over a year sober, says her life has never been better. “The cliche thing to say is that treatment is probably going to be the hardest thing you ever do in your life,” she laughed. “But it will all be worth it tomorrow. Everything you do today to surrender yourself will all be worth it.” Not only is she thriving at work, she also enjoys a wonderful relationship with her children, bonds for which she is extremely grateful.

“When you’re an addict, you feel like a horrible person, that you’ve done terrible things and people aren’t going to be able to forgive you,” she said. “But when you work really hard to make yourself healthy and make amends, you find out that people actually have a different view of it.” And she’s proud to share her story to help others, including her fellow single parents who may be struggling with addiction. “I wish more people were comfortable sharing their story and sharing their journey — it would help a lot of people! There might be someone one day who just needs to hear your story,” she told me. “You learn at some point during recovery that there’s nothing to be ashamed of — we’re just like everyone else.”

Sally’s is a wonderful story not just for single-parent families to hear, but everyone. It demonstrates that no matter what challenges you’re facing, no matter what mountains you have to climb, that you can still come out on the other side stronger and happier not only for yourself, but for your family, too.

Dear mom with that regret...


Dear Mom with that regret...

You are strong.

You are wise.

You are brave.

Your child is blessed to have you as MOM.

Honesty is powerful.

Change is meaningful.

And YOU are making the world a better place.




To connect with others, please feel free to join any discussion groups of interest to you:
DrMomma.org/2007/12/discussion-groups.html

FB.com/FutureSons
FB.com/groups/FutureSons <---> request to join by messaging the public KFSI page. 

If you'd like to share your story: DrMomma.org/2010/05/i-circumcised-my-son-healing-from.html Email SavingSons@gmail.com We would love to hear from you and support you in your journey.



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Eat These Pancakes and Witness Your Health Improve!

By Alex Martin © 2017


If you saw the title and said: How can pancakes ever contribute to improving my health? I can say I had the same reaction. But, made with the proper ingredients, they certainly can! Of course, it all comes down to what you put in your pancake batter, and what you top your pancakes with.

Vitamin A Pancakes

First of all, let’s start with ingredients in pancakes that can contribute to enhanced levels of vitamin A. It is actually beta carotene that can be found in fruits and veggies that is responsible for the creation of this vitamin. When it comes to the amount of vitamin A people need, it comes down to these numbers:

• Men- 900 mcg per day
 • Women- 700 mcg per day

Taking the recommended dose will inevitably lead to an improved eyesight and neurological function. Healthy skin is also a product of it. The fruits and veggies you should incorporate in your pancake recipes include:

Butternut Squash

Only half a cup of butter squash contains 572 mg of beta-carotene, which will translate into a substantial amount of vitamin A. Not to mention that pancakes made with this fruit would be soft and fluffy, and any recipe containing them will certainly call for cinnamon and ginger (my all-time favorite combination).

Carrots

If you didn’t get it by their name, carrots abound with beta carotene. So, adding a cup of raw sliced, diced or ground into a pancake batter will provide you with more than 100% of the daily value of Vitamin A.


Vitamin C Pancake Recipes

Vitamin C is best known as a weapon to combat the common cold. But, its health benefits go even further. From boosting our immune system to aiding the good work of the cardiovascular one, make sure you consume this vitamin on a daily basis and you will surely keep the doctor away.

How much vitamin C per day should one consume?

• Men- 90 mg per day
 • Women- 75 mg per day

And because pancakes can make use of so many different ingredients, and the pancake recipes are so versatile, fruits that are vitamin C packed are no exception. Oranges and lemons are the fruits that are most associated with large amounts of vitamin C. But, an even greater source of vitamin C are strawberries. Only half a cup of strawberries contains 58.8 mg -- or 98% of the daily value, whereas a small orange, for instance, contains 85%. Regardless of whether you opt for the sweet taste of strawberries, or the slightly tangy flavor of the citrus fruits, you can’t go wrong when it comes to adding them to the pancake batter, or even as toppings (ok no lemons for toppings).

Make yourself a batch of vitamin A or C infused pancake recipes and start your day out on the right foot. You will feel far more energized and your mood will be improved for certain!



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Top 10 Most Read in 2015!


It has been a fantastic year of education and awareness raising for the sake of our little ones. We've hosted hundreds of expositions at maternity, baby, and family fairs across the nation, met with thousands of parents (both expecting and experienced) and been a part of a larger shifting cultural mindset to one that is pro-baby, pro-child, pro-mom and gentle in parenting.

Thank you to each one of you who is sharing research based information, and lived experiences, for the sake of bettering the world our children will grow up in. Secure attachment, and happy, whole human life begins even before Day One on this earth, and the steps we each take in peaceful parenting contribute to our children's wellbeing -- today and tomorrow and for years to come. If you're seeking further community and support, or just a safe space to ask questions, you're welcome to join any of the peaceful parenting discussion groups or Peaceful Parenting Network chapters. Click the Discussion Groups tab at the top of this site, or visit: DrMomma.org/2007/12/discussion-groups.html

These are the Top 10 most read articles of 2015 at DrMomma.org. We hope that in sharing them again, parents find empowerment and useful tips for healthier, happier living.

10. Baby Sleep Positions:
DrMomma.org/2012/01/baby-sleep-positions.html

9.  Six Habits of Highly Effective Parents:
DrMomma.org/2014/08/6-habits-of-highly-effective-parents.html

8.  What Should a 4 Year Old Know?
DrMomma.org/2011/11/what-should-4-year-old-know.html

7. One Regret:
DrMomma.org/2011/10/one-regret.html

6. Major Milkin' Lactation Cookies:
DrMomma.org/2010/08/major-milk-makin-lactation-cookies.html

5. Sleep Training: A Review of Research:
DrMomma.org/2009/12/sleep-training-review-of-research.html

4. Your Body Within 1 Hour of Drinking Soda:
DrMomma.org/2008/01/your-body-within-1-hour-of-drinking.html

3. Why African Babies Don't Cry:
DrMomma.org/2010/09/why-african-babies-dont-cry.html

2. Intact or Circumcised: A Significant Difference in the Adult Penis:
DrMomma.org/2011/08/intact-or-circumcised-significant.html

1. Lactation Cookies: Increasing Milk Supply:
DrMomma.org/2010/08/lactation-cookies-recipe-increasing.html


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Couple loses baby boy to circumcision death; hope it never happens to another


Another beautiful baby has lost his life due to circumcision. Ryan Heydari died from hemorrhage after being circumcised - a heart-breaking and tragic loss that happens far too often in the United States and Canada. Babies only need to lose 2.3 ounces of blood to pass away as the result of hemorrhage.

National Post reports: News.nationalpost.com/health/ontario-newborn-bleeds-to-death-after-family-doctor-persuades-parents-to-get-him-circumcised

An Ontario doctor has been cautioned after a 22-day-old baby bled to death from a circumcision gone horribly wrong, underscoring the heated debate over a simple yet contentious procedure. Another physician involved in the case was urged by a medical governing body to be “mindful” of the operation’s dangers. But Ryan Heydari’s parents say the regulators who handled their complaints have shed little light on what led to Ryan’s death – or how to prevent similar tragedies in future.

They say they did not even want the newborn circumcised — a view in line with longstanding recommendations from the Canadian Pediatric Society — but were persuaded to do so by a family physician. “We are so shocked that we will not have an answer to bring us some peace for our broken hearts, to prevent other cruel deaths like Ryan’s and to ensure that doctors take proper care of their patients,” mother Homa Ahmadi told the National Post.

In fact, the case only became public because the couple appealed the original Ontario College of Physician and Surgeons rulings, which were rendered in secret. An appeal tribunal upheld this month a decision by the College to caution the doctor who saw Ryan in the emergency department hours after his circumcision, his diaper stained red with blood. The Health Professions Appeal and Review Board also confirmed the college’s separate advice to the pediatrician who conducted the procedure to be aware of its potential hazards, and document his efforts to get informed consent. The pediatric society said in a recent report that death from bleeding caused by circumcision is “extremely rare,” though it’s not completely unheard of. A five-week-old B.C. baby bled to death after being circumcised in 2003.


Ahmadi gave birth on Jan. 3, 2013 to a boy who loved attention, cried relatively little and seemed to actually smile. “He gave us the most amazing moments of our life,” says Ryan’s mother. She and husband John Heydari, who immigrated from Iran about 12 years ago, opposed having him circumcised, convinced that “mother nature created us the way she intended us to be.” But their family physician persuaded them it was a good idea for medical reasons, despite contrary advice from pediatric specialists.

Once carried out on most Canadian boys and still common as a religious rite for Jews and Muslims, circumcision has generally fallen in popularity. Ahmadi says she and her husband knew almost immediately after their son’s procedure that something was seriously wrong. The previously unfussy baby “was crying so much, so hard, and he wouldn’t stop,” she recalled in written answers to questions. “He was bleeding, and it only got worse over just hours … It was so obvious from the blood his tiny body had lost that he was in danger.”

The pediatrician who did the circumcision told the College he conducts many of them, that Ryan’s was uneventful and there was no bleeding when he checked the dressing before the family left. The parents called about bleeding later that day, though, and he advised them to take Ryan to Toronto’s North York General Hospital, which they did. “We … waited for care that could have saved his life, but that level of care never came,” says Ahmadi.

A sparse outline in the board’s decision says Ryan was eventually transferred to Sick Kids hospital, but died there seven days later. Pathologists said he succumbed to “hypovolemic shock” caused by bleeding from the circumcision, which emptied his body of 35 to 40% of its blood.

The doctor at North York General — whose name has been withheld according to College policy — was cautioned for failing to recognize the seriousness of the boy’s condition or treating “compensated shock” – the first stage of the condition. But the process left the family little further ahead in fathoming how Ryan could have died, said Brian Moher, their lawyer. “My clients felt that there was a big gap in what the College had done with the investigations, essentially missing the point around the infant’s death.”

The devastated parents, meanwhile, have not had other children. “The loss of Ryan, our only child, has made us realize that we can’t possess anything, even our hopes and dreams,” Ahmadi says. “We hope that this never happens to any other baby.”

Related Reading:

Death From Circumcision: http://www.drmomma.org/2010/05/death-from-circumcision.html

The Perils of Plastibell: http://www.drmomma.org/2010/05/the-perils-of-plastibell-circumcision.html

Death From Circumcision Higher than Neonatal Suffocation and Auto Accidents: http://www.drmomma.org/2010/05/death-from-circumcision-higher-than.html

Healthy Newborn Dies Post Circumcision: http://www.savingsons.org/2013/06/healthy-newborn-dies-post-circumcision.html

Ask the Experts: Dr. Sears on Jaundice and Breastfeeding Babies


Question: I was told my newborn's bilirubin levels are 15.8 and that we need to be admitted to the hospital. Is this justified? What is causing this and is there anything else I can do?

Answer: 
by Dr. William Sears (read more from the Sears family of pediatricians at AskDrSears.com)

Jaundice tends to be more common in breastfed babies and may last a bit longer. In most cases, it is harmless, but jaundice phobia on the part of parents and healthcare providers often creates obstacles to successful breastfeeding.

Here’s some background on jaundice and ways to minimize interference with breastfeeding.

WHAT IS NEWBORN JAUNDICE?

Jaundice (also known as hyperbilirubinemia) is the cause of the yellow tinge that colors the skin and eyeballs of newborn infants, especially in the first week or two. Jaundice happens because babies are born with more red blood cells than they need. When the liver breaks down these excess cells it produces a yellow pigment called bilirubin. Because the newborn’s immature liver can’t dispose of bilirubin quickly, the excess yellow pigment is deposited in the eyeballs and skin of the newborn. This kind of a jaundice is called physiologic jaundice, because it is part of a normal body process.

Once the newborn’s bilirubin-disposal system matures and the excess red blood cells diminish, the jaundice subsides – usually within a week or two – and causes baby no harm. Jaundice is more common in premature infants, who are less able to cope with excess bilirubin. In some situations, such as an incompatibility of blood types between mother and baby, jaundice may be the result of problems that go beyond the normal breakdown of excess red blood cells.

In rare instances, the bilirubin levels can rise high enough to damage baby’s brain. For this reason, if the healthcare provider suspects that something more than normal physiologic jaundice is the cause of baby’s yellow color, bilirubin levels will be monitored more closely, using blood samples. If the bilirubin level gets too high, your doctor may try to lower the bilirubin level using phototherapy, special lights which dissolve the extra bilirubin in the skin, allowing it to be excreted in the urine.

WHY IS JAUNDICE A PROBLEM FOR BREASTFEEDING BABIES?

Bilirubin levels average 2-3 milligrams higher in breastfed infants than in formula-fed infants (14.8 milligrams versus 12.4 milligrams). The difference is thought to be due to an as-yet unidentified factor in breastmilk that promotes increased intestinal absorption of bilirubin, so that it goes back into the bloodstream rather than moving on to the liver. Higher rates of jaundice in breastfed infants may also be related to lower milk intakes in the first days after birth, because of infrequent or inefficient feeding. It is normal for jaundice to last a bit longer in breastfeeding infants, sometimes until the third week after birth. While most newborn jaundice is harmless, common medical remedies for jaundice can interfere with getting breastfeeding off to a good start. Therefore, healthcare providers and parents should be cautious about treating a condition in which the cure can create more problems than the disease. Watch out for what we call the “yellow flags” that signal an overreaction to jaundice in the breastfeeding baby.

  • In most cases, it is not necessary to treat jaundice when bilirubin levels are less than 20 milligrams. 
  • Most jaundiced infants do not need supplements of water, sugar water or formula. 
  • Avoiding breastfeeding for a day or two is not usually necessary to bring down bilirubin levels. 
  • Shake off any suggestion that something about your milk is bad for your baby. As long as your baby is otherwise healthy, jaundice is short-lived and harmless. If your baby’s jaundice is related to other health problems, your milk is very valuable for him and you should continue to breastfeed. 

WHAT TO DO ABOUT JAUNDICE

Lowering baby’s bilirubin levels also helps to lower the worry level of both parents and healthcare providers. The things you do to get breastfeeding off to a good start will also help you avoid problems with jaundice.

Early, frequent, unrestricted breastfeeding helps to eliminate bilirubin from baby’s body. Bilirubin exits the body in the infant’s stools, and because breastmilk has a laxative effect, frequent breastfeeders tend to have lots of soiled diapers and thus, lower bilirubin levels.

Be sure that your baby is latched on well and is sucking efficiently. See the Breastfeeding Latch Trick for tips on getting baby to nurse well. Jaundice sometimes makes babies sleepy, so they nurse less enthusiastically. You may have to take the lead and wake your baby during the day to encourage her to nurse. See "Waking the sleepy baby" for suggestions.

If phototherapy treatment is necessary because of a high bilirubin level, talk to your healthcare provider about alternatives to placing baby in the hospital nursery under phototherapy lights. For most babies a photo-optic bilirubin-blanket (phototherapy lights that wrap around the baby) works well. You can hold and breastfeed your baby at home while the lights dissolve the bilirubin.

Giving breastfed babies bottles of sugar water in hopes of reducing bilirubin levels has been shown to be ineffective. It may even aggravate the jaundice, because babies whose tummies are full of glucose solutions may nurse less often, reducing their milk intake and the opportunities for bilirubin to be excreted in stools. Giving sugar water and formula also interfere with the "virgin gut" and thereby further impacts immunity.

If your doctor advises giving formula supplements to provide more fluids and calories and decrease the intestinal absorption of bilirubin, work with a lactation consultant to give supplements via a supplementary nursing system, syringe, or finger-feeding methods. This will avoid problems with nipple confusion.

Don’t worry, make milk. If your baby is jaundiced, be sure you understand what type of jaundice your baby has. If it’s normal physiologic jaundice, you have absolutely nothing to worry about. If it’s jaundice due to a medical cause, such as a blood group incompatibility, be sure you understand that this is easily treated and should not interfere with your breastfeeding. Worry may cause you to make less milk and doubt your ability to nourish your baby at the breast. This gets in the way of breastfeeding success.


PROLONGED JAUNDICE

In some breastfed babies, bilirubin levels may exceed 20 milligrams and jaundice may last well into the second week of life or longer. It was once thought that this was a distinct type of jaundice, called breast milk jaundice, that was found in a small group of mothers whose milk contained a substance believed to interfere with bilirubin absorption. Treatment for this type of jaundice involved taking baby off the breast for 24 to 48 hours. This brought bilirubin levels down, but sabotaged the course of breastfeeding.

More recent research suggests that high bilirubin levels and prolonged jaundice in otherwise healthy breastfed babies are just normal variants of ordinary physiologic newborn jaundice. There may well be a substance in the milk of most mothers that inhibits the absorption of bilirubin by the intestines, but whether a baby has a little jaundice or a lot is largely due to individual differences in both babies and mothers.

Nevertheless, some healthcare providers may suggest a period of temporary weaning (24 to 48 hours) to bring down bilirubin levels. Work with your doctor to determine if there are other alternatives, for example, phototherapy, that would allow breastfeeding to continue without restrictions. If you do decide to try formula for a day or two, be sure to pump your breasts every two to three hours so that you will continue to make milk and avoid a breast infection. Formula supplements can be given using alternatives to bottles, to avoid problems with nipple confusion when baby returns to the breast.


Breastfeeding mothers are welcome to join The Breastfeeding Group: FB.com/groups/Breastfed where you can connect with other nursing moms and professionals trained in lactation science, build friendships, gain community, and celebrate your breastfeeding days.

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Adult Intact Penis Care

By Adam Kelling © 2015


"But what if he doesn't take care of it when he's older...?!" asked a shocked relative on my wife's side of the family upon learning that our son would remain intact (not be circumcised). Little did she know that I am also fully able to enjoy all that I came into this world with, and, like countless men the globe over, I have never had these mythical troubles that so many Americans fear. As I light-heartedly assured her that day, intact care among men really is as simple as this:

Adult Intact Penis Care

1) Remove clothes.
2) Step into a warm shower.
3) Rinse your body as you otherwise would.
4) With a quick lift of one hand and light massage of the other, take 10 seconds to move around and rinse your (intact) penis, under warm running water. Do you retract fully? Great. Retract, rinse, replace. Do you have partial coverage, or not retract entirely? No problem. Rinse whatever is moveable. Water only. No soap (as that causes drying and irritation).
5) When you've finished washing your hair, cleansing your arm pits (use soap there), or whatever else you do in the shower, step out. Dry off. Job finished.

That is it.

Trust me, this is a task that virtually any man on the planet can handle -- and will likely succeed in just fine even if no one ever tells him what to do! Your son will as well, I promise.

Trust that your son will be just fine. He will know how to bathe.
Every mammal on earth is born with foreskin - and no problems staying clean.

The hardest part of cleaning my foreskin is staying in tune!
via Intact Connecticut

Foreskin is natural, normal, and fun -- and cleans with a little rinse, in infancy through adulthood.

Trust that when your son becomes a man, he will know how to shower. Intact care is as simple as water running over the body. IntactHealth.org

United States hygiene myths that shame women, and those that shame men.

"I had to circumcise my pig because he couldn't keep his foreskin clean" said no farmer ever!
via Intact Quad Cities

Q&A: Baby Cluster Feeding and 'Fighting Sleep'



Question:

"Why is my 3 week old fighting sleep and nursing all day long? A friend suggested 'The Wonder Weeks' by Dr. Sears - is there any validity to this?"

Answer:

The Wonder Weeks is the English translation of Frans X Plooij's (Dutch) book. While great in theory, it has been disproven time and again (including by other professors and scholars who worked with him). Dr. Sears' work is fantastic, but he has nothing to do with Plooij or his book/site. Sears' work on development and infant needs is based in reliable/valid research and human development and well worth review. Sears' The Baby Book (http://astore.amazon.com/peacefparent-20/detail/0316198269) and The Baby Sleep Book (http://astore.amazon.com/peacefparent-20?_encoding=UTF8&node=29) or The Fussy Baby Book (http://astore.amazon.com/peacefparent-20?_encoding=UTF8&node=53) are all excellent and touch on the subjects of cluster feeding and sleep concerns.

At the core, it is normal and natural for babies' sleep patterns to change frequently in the first year of life. Babies each go through their own periods of growth spurts (although these tend to be especially common around 3-4, 6-7, and 9-10 weeks and 3, 6, 9 months). When these times of rapid growth occur, babies will do what they naturally need to do to make more milk --- increase demand! This has to do with the Feedback Inhibitor of Lactation and its impact on mom's milk production: DrMomma.org/2014/08/making-more-milk-breastfeeding-supply.html This is a normal, natural, easy way for babies to control how much/how little they need.

Your little one may also be teething (which can and does happen early for some babies; and teething discomfort often begins 6-8 weeks before a tooth emerges). Some ideas for making life easier for baby when this happens: DrMomma.org/2009/07/teething-pains.html

The foundational solution to all these things? Nurse on cue and allow a baby to snuggle/sleep according to her own perfect timing as well (ditch clock-watching or schedules in babyhood). It can be tough on mom (which is why none of us are meant to mother alone in isolation). Ask a partner to hold/wear/rock baby for 2-3 hours so you can catch up on sleep; or hire someone to help for a couple hours several days a week (just to wear/rock/hold baby) while you nap (or shower or relax). Mothering in community with others, or getting a few hours of help a few times a week has saved many moms in the new months of babyhood. SitterCity.com and Care.com are two great options for finding inexpensive, but good, help with a gentle sitter to hold your baby while you sleep. Asking a relative, neighbor, friend, church-member, etc., are additional options.

Another key solution is learning early in the newborn days to nurse while laying down with your baby. Safe cosleeping (or co-napping!) is how mothers have survived and babies have thrived throughout all of human history, and in most of the world today. Join a breastfeeding group, or cosleeping group, and ask for tips from others who have been there before you. Sleeping while nursing is another life-saver that hugely benefits mothers and their little ones.

Remember, even during the weary, tired-eyes days and nights of early motherhood, this is a brief and fleeting time and will not last forever. It can seem like this is not the case, especially when your baby is nursing every hour, or cannot leave the breast, but these days and nights will quickly become a distant memory of early babyhood.




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Circumcision Regret: Working Through and Rising Above Mistakes Made

By M. Merritt © 2015


I am a mother to three beautiful boys. When I was pregnant with my first son, I researched everything. Well, almost everything. The one topic I ignored was circumcision. Looking back, I wonder why more websites do not touch on the subject. For example, if a new or expecting mama is researching breastfeeding, there should be information pertaining to how much pain impacts feeding for a newborn, but not many sites focus on this,  for fear of upsetting their readers.

In my research, I didn’t look to any specific websites, I just did a lot of Googling. At the time, I was an aide at a local hospital in a U.S. city where circumcision was common, and proper intact care was almost unknown. My job was to watch over the patient who suffered from Alzheimer’s and dementia to make sure they stayed in their beds and did not injure themselves. I witnessed many sponge baths. Many of the men were circumcised, but there were a few who were intact. I can remember one intact patient that was in a comatose-like state. He was unable to care for himself, so he relied heavily on the nursing staff to keep his body clean. At the time, he appeared to have a fungal infection in and around his penis. Every single nurse/doctor/nurses aide who cared for him remarked about his intact genitals. They would say that he was 'dirty' or that it was his own fault that he had infections because he was not circumcised. Because of experiences like these, mixed with the fact that nearly every other male I knew was circumcised, my husband and I decided to have our first son circumcised.

After a somewhat traumatic, induced labor and delivery, a couple doctors came in to my hospital room to ask me why I wanted to have the elective surgery performed on my baby. I feel like it didn’t really matter what I said, because after giving them my reasons, they simply nodded and were on their way. Looking back, I wish those two or three doctors had given me some information about what was going to happen to my son. If they had given me some facts or statistics, maybe I wouldn’t have allowed my baby to be cut...

Fast forward to when my baby was brought back into my room after being circumcised. The doctor (who was also my OB/GYN at the time) made a crude remark about having to use the bigger clamp on him. She said this with a huge grin and a giggle. At the time, I didn’t know what to feel. Was that supposed to make me feel proud? I don’t remember much from that day except that my baby was very unhappy. He did not latch well (if at all) after being cut, but breastfeeding was one of the things I was very adamant on. My baby boy seemed to not know what to do and when he did latch on, he would frantically suck until I began to bleed. It was awful. I would beg the nurses to help me latch him on correctly every hour, and they all said he was latching fine. They got very annoyed with me after a couple hours of this. I cried and cried, telling them I know something was wrong. Looking back, I have NO idea how I did not connect the dots. My baby boy was in pain!

When my son turned 3 weeks old, it was the first time I was able to finally latch him on properly. Up until then, I was pumping around the clock. Our first three weeks as a mother/child dyad were spent pumping, bottle feeding, and being very stressed out. All I wanted in the world was to cuddle and nurse my precious baby boy. My son was clearly upset most of the day and night post-circumcision, and still, I did not understand why.


After he healed (as best one could be after such a horrible surgery), breastfeeding got easier. Once he hit three months, I started 'liking' some parenting pages on Facebook. At first, I just 'liked' random pages, (still being new to the world of Facebook) and it was then that I was first introduced to a group of people who called themselves intactivists. I’m not sure who any of these particular people were at the time, but their comments and posts were absolutely terrifying to me. I witnessed attacking and name-calling, and after viewing many horrible photos posted for shock value, I dismissed the credibility of intactivists in general. From that moment on, I hid or clicked away from any and all information about circumcision. I went on like that, in a state of cognitive dissonance, until about a month later.

I began researching when it would be a wise time to start my baby on solid foods, and came across DrMomma.org, and eventually found the Peaceful Parenting Facebook page, too. Once there I noticed that a lot of the posts dealt with the topic of circumcision as well. The only difference was that the information was presented in a gentle, research-based way. The posts were factual and informative. I even noticed that the readers and commenters had a more approachable style with their words. I began to wonder if maybe I had been wrong all along…

I am not sure exactly which post I read that day, but I do know that the words in it were what ultimately got me to the point of wanting to learn about circumcision. Nothing I read made me feel threatened, or scared. It was straight facts and science-based information. I think I sat at my computer for hours that day researching circumcision for the first time. That was the day I had another label to add to my name: regret mom. From that moment, my eyes were opened, I regretted having my son circumcised with my whole heart.

I eventually needed to take a couple steps back, because it was all too painful for me at the time. I wronged my son, and the guilt from that seemed as though it might swallow me whole. One day I was reading the comments of a post about circumcision over at Peaceful Parenting, and I came across a comment from a mother exactly like myself. She found herself consumed with guilt and shame, and did not know where to turn. Someone responded to her, and her words encouraged me to keep on going. She told this mama that there are other people liker her, and that there were things she could do to help herself heal. Because of those words of encouragement, I was able to move forward.

Here is a list of the things I have done/am doing to help with the guilt that comes along with being a regret mama:

1) Apologize to your baby.

It sounded silly at first to me, but doing it felt great. I let out a good cry, and I believe it really helped start the healing.

2) Plan to apologize to your son when he is old enough to understand and process the apology.

This is a huge one. My son is just about 6 years old, and I know the time is quickly approaching. I have decided to wait to speak to him about it, because he is a very sensitive and emotional being. I need to wait until the right time. When that time is here, I will make sure my son knows how sorry I am. I will prepare myself for all the emotions he may have. Sometimes I wonder if he will be angry at me. I know my little boy, and I know how big his heart is. I am sure he will offer up his forgiveness, but it may take him a while. And that is okay. Anything he feels is the right feeling. After all, it was he who had almost half of his penis mindlessly cut off for no good reason at all. He deserves to be angry. But, no matter what, he WILL know that he is a hero to his younger brothers and the countless other baby boys we've been able to 'save' from routine infant circumcision as the result of this experience. It is my hope that he knows I understand how big a deal circumcision is. I will make sure to always be accepting of any feelings he may have regarding what was done to him.

3) Write.

This is something else I struggle with, but writing down my feelings about such a traumatic time has been therapeutic for me. It forces me to really face my fears and look the practice of male genital mutilation right in the eyes.

One thing I suggest to all the regret parents reading this is to never force yourself. Take your time and treat yourself gently. You deserve that, and pushing yourself too hard can actually be counter productive in your journey to healing.

4) Get the word out!

At first, I did not think I was capable to something like this because I am a very introverted person, but I had this nagging feeling that something had to be done, and I was perfectly capable of doing it! It is hard at first, but there are gentle ways to inform expecting mamas, raise awareness and take part in public education. For the most part, people welcome genital autonomy information happily when it is presented in a way that meets them where they are at. Today, I am Co-Director of Intact Rhode Island, our state chapter of Saving Our Sons, and take part in numerous educational expos, demonstrations and events each year.

5) Keep ALL future sons intact.

For me, this was a no brainer. After all the pain my son dealt with, there was no way I could put another child through such a barbaric procedure. My eldest son suffered, and still does suffer, in so many ways because of being circumcised. No child deserves to deal with that. I went on to have two more sons after my first, and keeping them intact has helped me on such a deep level.

Someday, when all of my sons are curious as to why their big brother looks different, I will tell them the truth. I will apologize to them as well. I wonder if they will be upset with me for allowing someone to hurt their brother. I will prepare myself for anger, which ever direction it may come from. Ultimately, I will tell my younger two sons that their big brother is a hero. He and his daddy are their heroes. They both survived male genital mutilation, and lived to save other boys from it. Someday I will make sure they realize how amazingly brave and strong their big brother is. And their daddy, he is the bravest of them all. Admitting he was violated as a baby was not easy for him, and because of his strength, two of his sons will never know that pain in childhood, or that loss in adulthood. That is a hero! ♥

If you're a regret parent, like myself and so many others, who are raising both circumcised and intact sons, you can connect with me at Keeping Future Sons Intact, or in the private KFSI group: FB.com/groups/FutureSons.



Further experiences from parents with circumcised sons who are keeping future sons (and grandsons) intact: DrMomma.org/2010/05/i-circumcised-my-son-healing-from.html

~~~~~

Why Spanking is Never Okay

By Nestor Lopez-Duran, Ph.D.
Originally published at Child Psych. At Peaceful Parenting with permission.



The most recent issue of the journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics included a report on the use of physical violence as a form of discipline (aka “spanking”) and its relation to intimate partner violence. The study examined a large sample of close to 2,000 families participating in a nationally representative study of families across the USA. The authors were interested in examining whether the use of spanking in 3 year-old children was associated with physical violence between the parents.

The results were not surprising:

1. 65% of 3 year old children were spanked at least once by their parents during the previous month.

2. The odds of using physical punishment doubled in households where parents used aggression against each other. This is not surprising since physical punishment is a form of interpersonal aggression.

3. Maternal stress significantly increased the odds of using physical punishment. This is also not surprising since physical punishment is more likely to be used by parents who are angry.

4. Maternal depression significantly increased the odds of using physical punishment.

5. The odds of using physical punishment were not associated with maternal education, but when the father had a college degree both the father and the mother were significantly less likely to use physical punishment. I am curious to hear my readers’ thoughts on this interesting finding.

The authors concluded (CP = Corporal Punishment; IPAV = Intimate Partner Violence):
Despite American Academy of Pediatrics’ recommendations against the use of CP, CP use remains common in the United States. CP prevention efforts should carefully consider assumptions made about patterns of co-occurring aggression in families, given that adult victims of IPAV, including even minor, non physical aggression between parents, have increased odds of using CP with their children.
Yes, the American Academy of Pediatrics unequivocally recommends against the use of aggression as a discipline method. Why? Because the research on physical punishment is clear: it is unnecessary and is associated with a long list of NEGATIVE consequences. For example, although proponents of “spanking” argue that if you don’t spank, the child will not learn to behave properly, the research actually suggests the opposite. Children who are spanked, when compared to their non-spanked peers, are, among many others:

1. more likely to use aggression against their peers
2. less likely to internalize rules
3. more likely to engage in criminal activity during adolescence
4. more likely to engage in domestic abuse as adults
5. more likely to suffer from depression
and on and on and on.

For those who want to read more about the science behind the negative effects of corporal punishment, visit the research library of Project No Spank; http://nospank.net/resrch.htm

I unequivocally oppose the use of violence towards children as a discipline method for two reasons. The first is explained above. The scientific research shows that physical punishment does not work in the long run, is associated with an increased risk for many behavioral and psychological problems, and is simply unnecessary given that we have non-violent discipline techniques that are very effective. But I also oppose violence towards children on philosophical grounds.

Although I never talk about philosophy (and especially my views) on Child Psych, this time I want to share them with you. I am a secular humanist, and as a humanist I oppose interpersonal violence except in cases of self defense. I view spanking as a culturally accepted violent act towards a child. We use the words “spanking” or “corporal punishment” as euphemisms so that we don’t confront the reality of the act: when a parent spanks a child the parent is physically assaulting the child. Why do we accept such aggression when we oppose other forms of interpersonal violence? For example, in western societies we oppose marital violence. We believe that there is no excuse that could justify a husband for hitting a wife. A husband can’t argue that he hit his wife because the wife was “misbehaving,” or that it was “just one hit,” or that he used “an open hand,” or that the hit “didn’t leave any marks,” etc. Under all circumstances, we oppose the assault of a wife by her husband. We do not accept the premise that it is “the husband’s right” to hit his wife. Yet, our culture accepts the premise that “it is a parent’s right” to hit his/her child. We allow the use of violence against young children under the excuse that such aggression is “culturally accepted” or even “necessary” to teach the “child a lesson.” But I ask, what lesson? That we can use violence to achieve our goals? That it is acceptable to hit people when they don’t do what we want? That hitting those who can’t defend themselves is okay as long as you are teaching them a lesson?

Children are not possessions. Children are, albeit small in size, real human beings who have the right to live in an environment where they are safe from being physically assaulted. Being free of physical harm is the most basic human right, and children should not be exempt from it.

From a scientific and humanistic perspective, there is no valid argument that justifies the use of violence towards children in the name of discipline. It is unnecessary, ineffective, and leads to many negative consequences. My explicit recommendation to all parents is: Never use violence to correct a misbehavior or to teach your child a lesson.

Three final points. Please don’t confuse a position against spanking with being “permissive.” You can be very strict without the use of violence. You can provide structure, rules, limits and consequences, without being violent towards your child. See below for alternatives to spanking.

Second, be wary of the “my grandma smoked till she was 100″ excuse. That is, some people justify spanking, or even refuse to believe valid science, because “I was spanked as a kid and I’m okay.” That would be the same as believing that there is no association between smoking and cancer because “my grandma smoked till she was 100 and didn’t die from it.” Smoking increases the probability that you will get cancer, even though some people who smoke will be okay. Likewise, spanking increases the probability of a laundry list of negative outcomes, even though some people who are hit as children will be okay in the long run.

Finally, some have argued that spanking is OK in certain cultures as long as you provide nurturance and love. It is true that some studies have shown that high levels of maternal support can reduce the negative consequences of physical punishment. But, from a humanistic perspective, I find the argument that “it is okay to hit my child if I provide love” as invalid as a husband saying “it is okay to hit my wife if I show her that I love her.”


Notes:

Taylor, C., Lee, S., Guterman, N., & Rice, J. (2010). Use of Spanking for 3-Year-Old Children and Associated Intimate Partner Aggression or Violence. PEDIATRICS, 126 (3), 415-424 DOI: 10.1542/peds.2010-0314



Alternatives to Spanking and Related Reading:

Gentle Discipline Resource Collection

Why Love Matters: How Affection Shapes a Baby's Brain [book]

The Science of Parenting: How today's brain research can help you raise healthy, emotionally balanced children [book]

The Continuum Concept: In Search of Happiness Lost [book]

Our Babies, Ourselves [book]

The No Spanking Page alternative ideas to spanking

Why Do We Spank Our Babies? 

Infant Pain Impacts Adult Sensitivity

Early Spanking Increases Toddler Aggression, Lowers IQ
  
Spanking Decreases Intelligence? 

Project No Spank 

Dr Sears: 10 Reasons Not to Hit Your Child


Aware Parenting

Natural Child / Jan Hunt


Love Our Children USA

Support NY Rep Carolyn McCathy on her efforts to ban physical punishment in US schools.
http://www.thehittingstopshere.com/


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