Monday, January 03, 2011

Violated: A Baby Boy's Point of View

© 2011 Christina King,
King serves as a leader with Intact Iowa and Intact Des Moines




Born into a cold world, but settled into warm arms.

I snuggle at a nurturing breast and latch on.

Happy and content, I nurse and fall asleep...

Until the people in white coats come in for me.


Someone straps my legs and arms.

What are they doing? I want my mom!

I begin to whimper... Where could she be?

I'm uncomfortable - need to be held. Can't they see?


They strip me down bare. I'm now naked and cold.

I begin to wail. Everything's so out of control.

The doctor reaches toward me. For my mom, I'll be strong.

But his impersonal touch is somewhere private. And, oh, so very wrong.


The pain that soon follows is too much for me to bear.

Why is this happening, Mom? Don't you even care?

When I was first born, you called me perfect - why'd you lie?

Why aren't you here with me? Or comforting while I cry?


There is pulling and yanking and cutting and slicing.

It feels like each cell of my body they're splicing.

I scream until my voice is raw. I cry 'til tears come no more.

Red liquid is pouring from me. Blood. It pools upon the floor.


I hear the doctor say, "The circumcision's a success!"

He tells the nurse to take me back to mom so I may rest.

I don't know what that big word means, but something's surely changed.

I've got a feeling after this my body'll never be the same.


I'm back in Mom's arms again, but no longer are they safe.

She tries to nurse me at her breast, but I no longer want this place.

Circumcision: this horrible procedure that some will still condone...

I should feel safe and secure and loved - but all I feel is alone.


~~~~

For prepuce (foreskin), intact care and circumcision information and resources see:
Are You Fully Informed?

"I believe the time has come to acknowledge that the practice of routine circumcision rests on the absurd premise that the only mammal in creation born in the condition that requires immediate surgical correction is the human male." ~Thomas Szasz, M.D.
~~~~

22 comments:

  1. My heart sank reading of the all-too-real suffering of this tortured, frightened and helpless little man. So tragic parents still abandon their perfect babies and offer them up for a modern-day version of a barbaric blood ritual. Thank you for giving the poor young victims a voice.

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  2. The last verse has me in tears...
    Thank you for having the courage to write and share this. It's very powerful. You never know what will speak to expectant parents trying to make the decision - but I have a feeling this will speak to many <3

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  3. The tears are rolling down my faces as I look over at my intact son and thank GOD I found Drmomma while pregnant with him. He IS perfect just as he was made in my womb.

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  4. Bravo Christina! You brought tears to my eyes with this poem, so true, so tragic, so eloquent. I look forward to the day when our baby boys will have the same protection as our baby girls!
    Fanny M

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  5. Ugh, I just wish every mama to be could read this. I just don't understand why after everything we know, people STILL circ! It just doesn't make any sense to me.

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  6. I felt this poem might really connect with a lot of mothers out there who have yet to decide whether to circ or not. So I posted it at the Baby Bump (an iPhone app I have).

    Interestingly, about 10 minutes after I posted it it was removed, I assume for being flagged as "abusive". The irony is...who is REALLY being abused? The mothers who are pro-circ and are easily offended by good information about the negative impact of circumcision, or the babies who's mothers refuse to listen?

    So sad.

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  7. This is so sad. Hopefully this poem will make more people aware circumcision is a horrible, painful procedure and unnecessary.

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  8. Are you aware of the "TLC Tugger PRO-INTACT Song, Poetry, and YouTube Contest"?

    http://tlctugger.com/Song_Contest-Rules.htm

    I think you should enter it in the next contest.

    To all who are interested, please check out other works of art submitted in past contests. You can see last years entries at:

    http://tlctugger.com/Song_Contest_Gallery_2010.htm

    Links to past submission galleries are there as well.

    EXCELLENT poem.

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  9. It's so sad, but so true. I am just so grateful that a few people were willing to speak up and show me the truth on this subject so that doing this to my son was never even a consideration. If anything, this illustrates how important it is to talk about what an injustice MGM is, and really get the word out. If people don't know better, little babies feel like this.

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  10. So sad that this is true for SO MANY male infants. Today! In the modern era! We still cut off bits of our children's genitals!

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  11. What a sad but awesome poem. Really points out that what we think of as a culture as a quick and small "snip" is in reality, a brutal and intense surgery that is painful, dangerous, and emotionally scarring to newborn boys. With no sound medical reasoning! :( I'm going to suggest keeping our son intact with my husband later this week (decided it early in the pregnancy but he's been deployed so now I'll actually have a chance to sit with him and share information)

    This will definitely be shared.

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  12. I am so glad that I became informed before my son was born. This poem made me sad for all the boys born perfect whose parents try to "fix." It also made me happy that my husband and I made the RIGHT chouce...to leave our son the way he was born...perfect.

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  13. I am not sure how I am feeling about this. It was well written I will give you that. However this is the internal struggle we (hubby and I) are having right now. My brother was not done nor was his 2 boys. My hubby grew up in tact because where he came from that wasn't even an option. 6 years ago he had to have one done as an adult. It took much longer then a baby to heal and recover. His sexual pleasure was greatly affected as was everything else such as going to the bathroom and cleaning. It was a horrific murder scene that I pray to never have to see again, however I think for extreme on a full grown male. Why was this done? Surely not by choice. It was done because of phymosis, a hard tightening ring of the foreskin whith many complications such as not being able to urinate. This was caused as a complication of type 1 diabetes. Now,....why are we struggling since we know first hand the horror that this was? Well simple.....we don't know if we are having a boy or not, but the decision should be made while they are babies. They are strongest then, so to speak, and they do not remember. As an adult it is horrible to see, it affects self esteem and image not to mention a meriade of other things. The same thing could happen to our child as did hubby,....so do we let him suffer longer in many ways as an adult SHOULD it need to be done? Or not chance it at all and do it while he is a baby and will never remember or know the pain again?

    What a dilema. For the record, prior to this we never imagined do it, because it was placed on the body for a reason even if we don't like the look of it.

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  14. roger desmoulinsJanuary 17, 2011 8:37 PM

    Circumcision without anesthesia is raw sexual violence. It is the rape of an infant boy. It is where sex and violence meet, at the very start of life. A culture that can countenance this is a culture that is at war with sexual pleasure.

    The adverse consequences for sexual pleasure and functionality have not been honestly researched, especially those consequences that very gradually manifest themselves over several decades.

    A culture that deems the natural penis gross is a culture held in thrall by an enormous hypocrisy. Because it is circumcision that is utterly gross.

    There are candles lit in the darkness: the tens of thousands of North American women of childbearing age who are refusing to allow this to be done to their infant sons.

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  15. @dmotum

    Not every adult will have to have one done. Why not give him the chance, instead of permanently taking away everything that your husband lost before your son gets a chance to even know what it's like to have a foreskin? Why do to your infant son what you describe as a horrific murder scene?
    We would not cut off our infant's foot because their father had diabetes and it was necessary, and they don't remember it when they're infants, so why is this true of foreskin? Please don't make the choice to circumcise, it's one you will come to regret. I regret it every day. EVERY SINGLE DAY that I read something like the blog post above, I feel such extreme guilt for putting my tiny child through such horror and pain.

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  16. @dmotum This is no reason to cut a baby. I'm sorry your DH went through this - but it was completely unnecessary. Whoever recommended surgery was obviously not foreskin knowledgeable or foreskin friendly. Phimosis is never a reason for amputation. The only medical reasons for prepuce amputation are cancer, frostbite and gangrene. There are many other options for phimosis. The healing process in your DH is irrelevant to the thought process because his surgery never needed to happen in the first place. In intact countries only .0001% of men ever need to be cut for medical reasons. In the US that number is much higher. There is no difference between European penises and American ones, the only difference is the quality and quantity of medical knowledge.

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  17. dmotum- If a true phimosis happens it can also be treated with a dorsal slit so the foreskin remains to do its job. It is very unusual for a problem to occur that actual requires circumcision. I still come back to the fact that an adult understan...ds the pain and the recovery. He is unconscious for the actual surgery. A baby has no way to understand or cope with the pain. He is awake the whole time. He can have nothing stronger than tylenol during his recovery. I would far rather see my son circumcised as an adult because of some medical need with all the appropriate anesthetics then to risk the death or injury of my newborn for a surgery he didn't need.

    http://www.facebook.com/SavingOurSons
    Saving Our Sons posted your question on their wall and there has been many responses, if you'd like to have a look.

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  18. To the Anon who posted on Jan 7th -
    I, too, made a horrible mistake by not protecting my son when he was born 5 years ago. I regret this every day because there is nothing I can do to change the decision I made based in ignorance. I wish so badly it could be un-done. But because when we know better, we can do better, I make sure that I share our experience, and information with everyone I meet so that other moms don't have to endure this severe regret like I do. If I can save just a handful of babies in my lifetime, then the lessons I learned through awful experience will be worth it.

    Part of our story is here and there are a lot of others telling their experience (having circumcised a child) as well -

    http://www.drmomma.org/2010/05/i-circumcised-my-son-healing-from.html

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  19. @dmotum

    I wonder about your husband's operation; did they try curing it any other way? Or did they just decide point blank "he has phimosis, let's circumcise him?" Because there are alternatives to circumcision that don't involve cutting.


    But ask yourself this; if you are going to circumcise your child to avoid possible complications due to diabetes later on, are you going to also remove his toes? One of my closest friends belongs to a family where diabetes is common. His aunts and uncles, but most of all, his grandma have all, one by one, died. And they had this in common; they died because of hammertoe complications. Gangrene started eating away at their toes, then their legs, then they died. It was surgery after surgery because they just couldn't stop the gangrene from spreading.

    Is it good logic that if a baby belongs to a family where diabetes is common, that his toes be removed "to prevent any complications?" These are real and true complications. Look up "hammertoe." Daibetes patients get this condition a lot, that toe, and even leg removal as adults is common. Why not remove your child's toes so that he doesn't have to suffer what adults have to suffer?

    Are you seeing the faulty logic behind this?

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  20. Great poem- thanks to this website, an open-minded circumcised husband, and my own intuition-- my son--born in October 2011 is INTACT. I am looking into restoration options for my husband. There is SO much ignorance out there and this website provides thorough information. I think the personal stories are the most powerful, especially this one. Keep up the good work!

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