Help! I just took my [insert age] month-old-baby to the doctor and s/he forcibly retracted his foreskin! I took him from them right away and we are never going back there. But what do I do now?!First: I would grab my baby from any medical 'professional' forcibly retracting my son and leave immediately as well. How sad that this happens to anyone, ever.
Let me say that no matter what happened to your son, the best thing to do now is to leave his foreskin alone. Do not try to 'clean it out' from whatever happened. Do not place any cream on it (which will only interfere with the body's natural healing process). The only exception to this is Calmoseptine (more info below). Do not place anything directly into the foreskin. Do not wash with soap (this will irritate the sensitive prepuce which likely has tears from forced retraction and will hurt your son further).
Allow the foreskin/penis to heal itself as it will quickly do in infancy (the prepuce will likely try to reattach to the glans in an effort to seal over and protect it). When you bathe your son, use only warm water (not soap). Do not ever scrub his penis. I would be the only one changing my son's diaper for a while to ensure that no one else touched or messed with his foreskin while it was healing. The best advice after forced retraction is the best advice before it ever happened: Leave it alone.
If the prepuce or penis or areas around the genitals look sore or red (even from diaper rash or heat rash or simple irritation) the best ointment to pick up is Calmoseptine. You can request a tube from your local pharmacy (for about $6), or on the shelf at most Walgreens stores. Calmoseptine does not interfere with the genitals' natural pH balance, and it is a wonderfully soothing, healing cream that is safe to use all around the genitals of babies. Calmoseptine can be placed around the base of the penis and scrotum - it will help to heal during diaper wearing time, and will get around the foreskin via rubbing. It is really the only 'diaper' cream you will need during babyhood, and is especially good for cases like this.
The following are the four most frequently posed questions I've been asked lately. Because this situation has come up so often, I am going to post some of my reply here.
1) What's the best way to file a complaint against this doctor?
2) What resources/information pages can be sent to this doctor so that other intact boys aren't put through this?
3) Is there anything else we can do to make this doctor become more informed about proper foreskin care (that is, to leave it alone)?
4) How would you go about finding a doctor who is educated about foreskin maintenance?
1) You can report this event to an attorney at Doctors Opposing Circumcision. Go to the contact section of their website and contact John Geisheker. Have your doctor's name; name/address of the practice; and the name/address/department head's name, and name of the risk manager at the hospitals where the doctor has privileges, if possible.
In addition, you can report the occurrence to ARCLAW - attorneys specifically working for the rights of babies/children in the areas of genital cutting and harmful medical practices impacting the genital integrity of human beings. They may be able to send a letter on your behalf.
2) I would re-familiarize myself with the following information and print/give what you find important to your doctor for review. When there are experts in the field of pediatrics and human sexuality publishing on the perils of forced retraction all the time, there is NO REASON for a physician to remain ignorant on the proper care and protection of an intact boy.
Forced Retraction: Ask the Experts
Doctors Opposing Circumcision (the vast majority worldwide do oppose circumcision) statement on forced retraction
AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) statement on foreskin retraction.
Only Clean What is Seen
Protect Your Intact Son
National Organization of Circumcision Information & Resource Centers' pamphlet on Care of the Intact Penis
UTI/Medical Tests: Do Not Retract
This doctor should also review Dr. Fleiss and Dr. Hodges book and research, "What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Circumcision." They are two pediatric and human sexuality experts in the field who have studied this topic for the past 30+ years. An excerpt of their book, "Functions of the Foreskin" can be found here. It highlights many of the reasons we want to leave boys' (and girls!) prepuce organs alone!
In the end, the best pediatric word of advice for baby boys:
INTACT = DON'T RETRACT.
Only clean what is seen.
Wash like a finger: outside only.
One of my colleagues tells his patients the only tool they need to care for their intact son(s) is a ruler - to slap the hand of anyone who comes near. I guess in a case like this, that would include the doctor.
3) If you are brave enough to engage in dialog on this topic with the doctor, I would ask questions - find out why s/he believes this is necessary, site other pediatric professionals who are publishing (articles such as those above) in this area, and maybe (hopefully) s/he will think twice about what s/he is doing and change the method of practice used so other boys are not harmed. The vast majority of problems with babies and men's penises occur because someone forcibly retracted or 'messed with' their prepuce when they were infants. This really needs to stop. We need to educate parents so that they can protect their sons even in cases such as this when medical professionals have not been educated on this subject. It is likely that this doctor is not a 'bad guy' but rather, that he never sought out the information and is still acting out 'old school' ways of doing things...from before we understood what we do now about the functions of the foreskin and the important purposes of the prepuce organ in the U.S. (common knowledge that many in intact nations take for granted).
4) I would become very well versed in the purposes of the prepuce and proper care of an intact son myself, and then when interviewing potential care providers (you are, after all, hiring them for their services), simply ask them about their ideas on circumcision, the prepuce, and care of intact boys. You will quickly find out whether or not they are up to date and educated on the subject and will be able to stick with them, or move on. I have interviewed physicians in such a way (on this and other subjects) via phone and email. Of course, you can also set up a brief 10-minute introduction appointment with a physician. Most are willing to meet with potential new patients to see if it is a good 'fit.' If one is not willing to meet before joining their practice, do you really want them for your doctor anyway?
Best wishes to all parents out there navigating these waters. Don't be afraid to bring out the momma bear in you and protect your little cubs!
Intact Care Card
Request 1 free by writing to DrMomma.org@gmail.com
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Thank you for this. My little one just had his retracted by a nurse at the ER. I am so upset!! Something must be done!
ReplyDeleteThis is so much more polite than I would feel. My son has to see a urologist soon for a completely un-foreskin related issue and I'm terrified that someone will go pushing about where they shouldn't be. of course, i would hope that the specialists are somewhat more educated. nonetheless, thank you for this.
ReplyDeleteMy pediatrician (well, no longer), pulled down on the foreskin just a little bit and I've never jumped up so fast. Although it didn't seem to hurt my son, I told her that intact penises never need to be retracted, even a little bit, until they're much older. She said it was to see the urethra and I said he is peeing just fine.
ReplyDeleteNeedless to say, I'm finding a new pediatrician. I don't even want to take the chance.
We noticed that when our toddler peed, the stream went way off to the right, and that the tip of the penis was a little bent. Our pediatrician suggested we take him to a pediatric urologist just in case something needed to be fixed it would be best to do it young and before potty training.
ReplyDeleteAt the appointment with the urologist NP I said I had read online about forcible retraction and I was afraid of this happening, so please do not retract it. She agreed. We took off his diaper she grabbed his penis and pulled the foreskin down to expose the head of his penis. He began screaming and bleeding. My husband who rarely raises his voice shouted, “Whoa, whoa!” I exclaimed, “Our pediatrician never pulls it back that far.” She said, “I pulled it back as far as it can normally go back.” No apology, no explanations of why.
I guess I should have been more specific and requested she not pull the foreskin back to expose the head of the penis? I guess I should asked if part of the exam would include pulling back the foreskin and if so then we would not go on with the exam?
After we put the diaper on him and pulled up his pants he was whimpering and grabbing himself. When we went to change his diaper there was blood in it. I was at a loss as what to do, but I am so relieved to find this article and know that I can report her.
Thank you!
Anon post on feb 23. I would have called the police and not left until they showed up, and file a report for sexual abuse.
ReplyDeletehow do you know if it has been forcibly retracted?
ReplyDeletewww.facebook.com/NirvanaBirth.com
glad my friend sent me the link to this! we went to a sick visit today so it was not my son's normal pedi. i assumed they went by the same up to date info on intact care.
ReplyDeleteapparently they do not. she took his diaper off and i thought she was looking for a rash , like his pedi normally does. before i knew it she had pulled his skin back and i jumped up and yelled no no no we do not do that to him stop it stop it.
she said oh just did it as much as it naturally goes back , you need to do this and clean it and put vasaline on it.
well now of course his penis is red from her doing this. i feel like me and my son teagan were violated today and i just cant forgive myself for not watching her more closely. she did not ask me if she could do it nor did she stop when i told her to. i've emailed the recommended people , i hope something gets done. if he has any more problems from it im going to find and attorney.
These stories scare me... I am so sorry for the pain caused by such ignorance. Twenty years ago when we refused to circumcise our son, we were very alone. People thought we were crazy to "endanger" his health but that said, the Doctors seemed much more knowledgeable. We were told never pull it back any farther than it would go on its own and to only wash what was showing. I am shocked that these forced retractions are done by educated medical staff. Any medical personnel that does not stop after being told stop or does what you have requested not done, needs reported. Congratulations to all who chose not to alter there perfect little boys. :)
ReplyDeleteI hate that I have to watch Drs like a hawk - but I do. It has gotten to the point that I ask them not to touch my children's penises at all. It just is not necessary & frankly I do not trust them at all. I have to bookmark this for future reference sadly for myself or anyone else who might need this info. It is sad that I need to. :(
ReplyDeleteBreastmilk also helps with rashes, cuts etc. It's the only thing I use on my son. I don't know what I'll do when he stops breastfeeding!
ReplyDeleteMy son's doctor has retracted his foreskin during exams & I didn't know it was a problem. He doesn't do it all the way, just a little to see the tip. Is that the same? And I had done it 1 night b/c he said his penis was bothering him & since the doctor does it I thought it was ok. I know not to do it during diaper changes or baths, but I didn't know that soap was bad near there either. Now I'm wondering if all this damaged him. Is what the doctor did so bad? I now wonder if that is part of the reason he hates the doctor. I thought he was just being a 2 yo or younger when it has happened. I feel so horrible. I didn't research this well before b/c I just didn't know it was a big deal. I just knew what I stated above. I wish more info was shared before we left the hospital.
ReplyDeleteDon't retract it at all. Not even a little bit.
DeleteDon't let anyone or yourself retract it at all, not even a little bit. They do not need to see anything inside!
DeleteMy 5 year old intact son hadn't retracted at all. I hadn't ever looked into it but told the doctor at a visit about it. He forcibly retracted his foreskin and my son was screaming out in pain. I wish I had looked into in first and learned about it. I am kicking myself silly about it now. I just started researching because after following the doctor's advice to keep retracting it daily and put oil on it to stop it adhering, he's getting a bump of skin on one side. Obviously I'm never pulling on it again but now I don't know if I should have the bump checked out or just let it heal in peace. Who would I even take him to, in order to get accurate care?
ReplyDeleteMy son was forcibly retracted recently during a catheterization to check for a kidney infection (though we told the nurse not to retract). He's 2 years old, and the nurse pulled the foreskin all the way to the end of the glans. I'm curious how long we should expect it to take to heal completely. He's complaining about painful urination again, and I'm not sure if it has to do with the retraction or an infection. Anyone have any ideas?
ReplyDelete(I was going to post this on the FB page to get more responses from people with experience with forced retraction, but would rather be anonymous and didn't see a way to message the moderator. Thanks.)
My eight year old son has had issues with his urine flow squirting in all directions due to a narrow opening of his fore skin. Our GP sent us to a specialst who straight away forced his fore skin back. It was so very tight my Son was in a lot of pain. He told me it should start to pull back after the age of three or four and to go home and forcibly do the same thing every night until his skin had stretched.My Son's fore skin was red and close to bleeding all day and night. He couldnt walk properly because of the pain.He couldnt even touch it never mind pull it back.I feel sick now after reading information about this.I am now worried about lots more than squirting urine!!
ReplyDeletePlease let me know if you have ever heard of this..I really need some help! A couple of months ago I started noticing two white lumps under my son's foreskin. They look like bits of fat, almost like the cellulite you can get on the back of your arms. So my questions are:
ReplyDelete1. Could this mean that he was forcibly retracted by someone without my knowledge? He has been going to the daycare at my gym, and I just realized that I forgot to mention this to the workers there.
2. Is it anything to worry about?
3. I called his ped. and he said that it wasn't normal and to bring him in. I am so nervous that he is going to be retracted, or that my pediatrician will say he needs to be circumcised.
If you know anything about this, please please email me at barefootfae@yahoo.com Thank you so much.
i didn't realize this was an issue & now i have questions!
ReplyDeletemy son is 5 years old & had his foreskin pulled back when he was a baby, i can't remember what the reason was for. since then he has had 1 or 2 infections where we had to take him to the doctor & they gave us some cream, we put the cream on for a couple days inside the foreskin & he got better. we were told to pull back as far as the foreskin would naturally go to gently wash it when he takes a bath/shower, so we do this at least every other day making sure it is clean so he doesn't get smegma build up or an infection again.
it pulls back easy & painlessly to a point now (slight trouble at first when he was younger, wish i knew about this article then & let it adhere/heal) & my son being 5 now washes it him self.
everything seems totally fine...so MY QUESTION is now that the foreskin is not adhered & has been pulled back easily as far as it will go for years now, should we just keep doing what we're doing since it seems fine or should we now leave it alone after reading this??
i feel like if we leave it alone now he will have smegma build up & could get infected since it smoothly pulls back/no adhering.
when boys reach this age of 10 that keep being mentioned & the foreskin pulls back to a point (like my sons does not at a young age) they are supposed to pull back & clean right?