I mean, how dare you complain after being gifted this opportunity to stay at home and raise your own kids?
But it's not that simple: of course we SAHMs are grateful to stay home and raise our young, but that is literally all we have become.
No one talks about the isolation.
No one talks about the loss of identity.
No one talks about the loneliness.
No one talks about losing your sense of self.
No one talks about how you had to give up your career because it's cheaper for you to stay home.
No one talks about how you cry in the shower because your day was overwhelming.
No one understands why you're tired.
No one understands why you're irritable.
No one understands why you need a mental break.
No one understands why you're so aggravated with your kids or your spouse.
No one understands why, after you've been home all day, the house is a wreck still.
No one understands why you just need 5 minutes with no one speaking to or touching you.
No one understands why you've lost your sex drive.
No one understands why you're completely and utterly exhausted, after all, you just sit at home all day.
No one understands the feeling you have when you are told you don't have a "real job."
Most of us were working women at one point. We got to go to a job and interact with other adults outside our home. We contributed financially to our household. (Shoot, most of us want some kind of side hustle or part time job because it would sure help with financial relief.)
We didn't feel like an endless maid. We got that break away (even though yes, work is a love/ hate relationship) that gives you space from the people you live with (children, spouse, etc.) because yes, every relationship needs time away in it to not go crazy being around each other 24/7. That's not healthy.
Contrary to popular belief – you need a break daily. I can't tell you how many women I meet or know that say, "Oh, you have too much time on your hands... I sure wish I could stay home, I wouldn't complain." Good for you! I can guarantee you will change your mind 6 months in, unless you're wealthy and have money to constantly go do things.
I once was you.
I wished upon a star that I could stay home with my kids because I wanted to spend all the time I could with them. I didn't realize what all came with being a SAHM.
Oh, but you chose to have those kids. You should've thought about that before having them. If you didn't want to go through all this you should've never had kids. And you said you want more? Seriously... Heard those all before.
Next time you hear or see a SAHM venting her frustrations, listen and make her feel like she's somebody. That her struggles are not invalid. If this is you momma, please reach out and seek help to ease your pain, if even a little.
originally posted at Momma's Tired